worried daughter

[grimsby28]

hi my mum is in respite at the moment to give us a break as she lives with us i am worried about the home she is in as when we put her in respite at new year she came home with bruises on her back you could see it was finger marks the day after we picked her up so i phoned mums social worker and i also took photos they sent a investergater down to seee us when they got back to us a few days later they said it was all the hugging they did on new years eve and to pop her to the doctors as it could be a medical problem as doctor off ill i did not take her as she has had no bruises since the problem is the home informed me yesterday that she had bruises again one on her inner thigh and one on her stomach they said she had scratched her stomach i am really concered about this what can i do can anyone help me i know my mum bruises very easy as she has thin skin when i ask if anyone had hurt her she said no but she has vascular demita so her short term memory has gone when i pick her up later she will not know were she has been anyway or even what day it is help

 

[jimsandy]

I wish for you to be able to find a suitable place for her. It took us sometime to find a nice nursing home for our mother. But we were referred to a place by friends and others who had their family in a certain nursing home. It has turned out nicely so far and we even know some of the staff there, from being out and about in our daily lives. It is good that you are taking some time for yourself too. You need the R and R as well.

 

[Skye]

Hi grimsby

You must be very worried about your mum.

You say she bruises easily -- it could just be that she is used to you dealing with her, and tries to fight the carers off.

On the other hand, it could also be that they are handling her too roughly.

Could you make an appointment to talk to the manager, and ask her about the bruising? Say that you are very concerned, as it doesn't happen when your mum is at home.

You should also contact your SW again, and tell her what is happening. She will know if others have had similar experiences. You could also find out if there is another home your mum could go to for her next respite.

I don't blame you for being worried, I would be too, but try to find out all the facts before you think of a formal complaint. Then, if you feel it's warranted, write to the owners, the manager, SS, anyone you can think of.

Love,

 

[Margarita]

Is she in the same respite home that she was in when the bruises happen ?

My mother came home with bruises on the side of her wast , it was down to that when they put her on the stair lift, arm of stair lift must of hit rub her , when the arm go down . they told me .


That they story , so we never going to get to the bottom of it how they really got them.

So after that I told SS that I did not want her to go they any more and she never been they any more .

Since then she never come back with bruises on her in any other respite she been to since that one .

But I would never send her to the respite home she went to where she got the bruises in the first place

 

[grimsby28]

thankyou all for your support over my concerns over my mum brusies i have been in touch with the ss and they are going to look into it further as when i went to pick my mum uo this after noon she had not only the brusing they told me about but all so fresh ones on her back i did what the ss told me to i examined her in front of the care manger and assistant manger in front off thenm they were shocked when they saw her back i have not put in a formal complaint in as yet as they cant seem to find out how she getting them the new ones look like finger marks same as new year when she came home really dont know what to do for the best as she enjoys going in there and they are very understanding with her

 

[jenniferpa]

Has she had any blood tests done? I know that some blood conditions (low platelets in particular) can cause very easy bruising.

 

[grimsby28]

going to see gp on monday when he comes back from sick leave

 

[Margarita]

have not put in a formal complaint in as yet as they cant seem to find out how she getting them the new ones look like finger marks same as new year when she came home really dont know what to do for the best as she enjoys going in there and they are very understanding with her

Ask yourself does it happen when she living with you .


I am sorry I am going to have to say this , and I do hope its down to your mother blood, that she bruises easily.

But we must remember that theirs respite care home make a lot of money from keeping beds availably , from social services or people that are self funded, if we don't take aways our services when they proof of bruisers , they just going to cover it up , not only that its letting it happen to other venerable people with dementia who can not speak up for themselves.

very understanding with her

They may be very understanding of your mother while your they, but behind closed door , while your not they . they do seem a bit ruff with your mother in leaving finger marks.

In ringing you up telling you about the bruisers, they just coving themselves , because you complained the first time .



Like I said before , I do hope its just down to your mother blood, that she bruises easily .

please except my apologies if you feel I have spoken out of turn

 

[grimsby28]

i have had a chat with my mums carer today and she is of the same opionion as you as she said my mum has no bruises on her all the time she is at home as she bathes her every day and she would have mosy cretainly noticed as she herself was a senior carer in a home before she went out to work in the public sector she said i should not let it lie and i do agree with her i have watch tv programes on care homes and how carers are with some residents and it has scared me but you just dont think it can happen in your town i am not of the opion that they are all bad but i have to look to the long term future for myself and my mum as i suffer from rhumetoid arthrites and know at some point i will have to admit my mum in to one it just so hard to beleve some one can be so rough with my mum as when i see the carers they are so nice and my mum settles so well when in respite there know i have to sort this out one way or another