Worried advise please


Registered User
Feb 17, 2008
just had a phone call from my brother her is worried about dad,
as its my day off today he went down to see them to find Edna was in yet again terrible mood she was accusing dad of taking her money, but he had just given her £20 which she had spent a bit of while shopping, brother has said she was terrible and he thinks she has gone down hill fast, but I think its that he hasn't see this side of her before, he has asked me to phone the sw in the morning to get her in emergency respite as dad is ready to crack, I don't no what to do!. Edna has a appointment tomorrow at the doctors for a mot, I am wondering if she has a infection as she is complaining of a pain in her side/back, she keeps saying its nothing , its from when she had a slipped disc but I don't think so, could it be a infection? please any advise is wellcome.

Alison K

Registered User
Mar 29, 2008
hi there

Yes I think its a good idea to get check up at your mums drs, infections be it urinary, chest etc can exacerbate demntia and confusion. Also assuming dad is regsistered with same Gp you could ask about repsite and stress he is elderly and at breaking point. i dont know have fast emergency respite takes but you really need to lay down facts so that yoour dad gets well earned break. Good luck and take care Love Alison K - sorry should have introduced myself, fairly new!


Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
Hello Heartbroken

Sorry about the late reply but I've had such a busy day today and I'm on computer very late.

It's good that Edna is seeing a GP tomorrow and perhaps you could write down all that you want to tell the GP about what is happening with Edna. If you don't have time to get through it all, you can leave the list with the GP for her to go through later. Keep a copy for yourself.

With regard to your brother, I think it can be really difficult when someone comes on the scene that isn't that familiar with things. Sometimes they see things that we don't because we are used to it and sometimes we need to begin to see things in a different light. Also sometimes people come in and panic and feel something has to be done right there and then. In reality what they're panicking about is what you're dealing with every day without the panic!!!!

Talking to your GP is a good start and perhaps you can say to the doctor that your brother is very concerned and sees it as an emergency because your dad could crack and that you really would value some help.

Love from Helen


Registered User
Mar 23, 2005
Hi Heartbroken,

What Helen has said is definitely true. Some people who don't have regular contact can enter the situation and panic.

Also, I have to say the flip side is also true at times. The regular carers can have made so many daily adaptations to the situation, and even appeared to got used to certain levels of stress, that they can't always see the toll that caring is taking on them.

Looking over your past posts, it sounds like you've managed to get a reasonable support team around you in the past few months - consultant, CPN and SW. Plus you're seeing the GP tomorrow.

If your dad feels like he needs respite, it sounds like it could be organised. Your brother felt like "dad is ready to crack" and that can be really hard to detect is some people, especially if your dad is the strong, silent type some traditional males are. Is it possible that your brother picked up on some signals that you've missed?

Is Edna on any medication at the moment? Sometimes that can be looked at on an assessment unit which could give your dad a break and possibly make life easier for all of you once she returned home.

It might be a good idea to write your concerns down on a note for the GP and ask the receptionist to pop it through before the appointment.

Take care,