Worried about my Nan


Registered User
May 29, 2007
My Nan was 100 years old yesterday, which we tried to celebrate but it was quite upsetting as she seems in such a distressed state these days. She has over the years had problems with her short term memory, first of all she would hide bills under cusions, forget where her purse was, things like that. She was in her 90's so we expected some memory loss. She has never forgotten who were are though, her family members. She stayed at home until she was 97 but it became clear that she was not able to contine looking after herself, even though she had meals delivered we were never sure if she actually ate them. My Father moved her into a great nursing home, which she has struggled to accept. She often crys and says she wants to go home, especially at the begining, we would take her out for lunch and she was cry when we took her back because she though she was going home. She was never a very emotional or affectionate person until she got sick. Now she needs lots of hugs and affection and is very emotional, very upset allot. Now her memory is so far back she is talking about her grandmother who my Dad says she has never mentioned before. The other day she was crying for her mother. When we visited for her birthday she could only mumble incoherantly, where as before we could just about converse if my dad was there so we could stick to past events. She would sometimes come out with odd things like talking about how 'the Gerries flew over last night and it was naughty'. She also has osteoperosis, so her spine is painful as it is crumbling. My Dad isn't very good at getting information and I have never heard her being given the actual diagnosis of Alzhiemers, nor has anyone explained to me why she is so terribly unhappy. I know she is taking anti-depressants though. So I'm not sure if she has Alzhimers or not, like I said she has never had trouble knowing who we are and often asks after me in particular. I guess I just want to know does this sound like Alzhimers? She was mobile up until recently, she could get around on her zimmer frame and she can feed herself too but she is incontenet. She has started sleeping allot, she may sleep for three days at a time and we can't wake her up. She has also lost allot of weight recently, which maybe down to sleeping for days on end when she would not be eating. I'd be grateful to know if this sounds like classic alzhimers or is it something else? Is there anything we can do to make her less unhappy? I feel like in her mind she is 30 years younger than she actually is and she can't understand why she can't just go home and have the life she used to have.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi , and welcome to TP.

I`m no doctor, but your poor Nan sounds as if she`s feeling the effects of growing old.

If you feel she`s 30 years younger, in her mind, than she actually is, I really don`t see how she could have Alzheimers, but if you are concerned, I would consult her doctor.

It sounds as if she has been a wonderful lady and led a full and active life. Not many people make it to 100, so she must have been strong in mind as well as body.

She is bound to be weakening now, at such an advanced age, and I wonder if she is frightened of dying.

My Grandma died when she was 91. She was always frightened of death. Perhaps this is the same with your nan.

I think all you can do is give her as much reassurance as possible. Visit her as often as you can and let her know how much she is loved.

I hope I haven`t upset you with talk of death, but when somone reaches such an impressive age, it does have to be considered.

Take care.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I wonder where was your grandmother 30 years ago that is making her feel safe in that place , as it may be comforting for her

distressing for you to see her like that , but I hope you find the courage to see her to her end of life journey , you never no she still may have few more years to live.

Is there anything we can do to make her less unhappy?
Just keep on doing what your doing , loving her showing her affection
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Registered User
Feb 26, 2007
north yorkshire

Just keep on doing what your doing , loving her showing her affection[/QUOTE]

Just visit as often as you can, and give her lots of love and support.



Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hello Redmazzy
Sorry to read the news on your nan. What a wonderful achievement to reach 100 years of age you must be all so proud of her. Sylvia and Margarita have given you some very sound advice, personally I wouldn't worry about a Alzheimers diagnosis more likely to be just associated with the aging process but I'm no expert, you mentioned nan has a painful spine, pain in the elderly does quite often cause them to be confused, just a thought. My daughter is a painter and the firm she works for does alot of work in care facilities and my daughter loves the elderly she often tell me of how sad it makes her and the other boys(her co-workers) hearing the residents calling for their mums or seeing them sitting at the door waiting to go home.Life at times is very sad.


Registered User
May 24, 2006

It sounds very much to me that your Nan has Vascular Dementia because what you describe is just like my Mother who died from that last year age 90


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
Hi Redmazzy

What a wonderful acheivement to reach 100 years old. Did your Gran receive her telegram from the Queen?

At your Gran's age I wouldn't worry about a label for her condition. I think it is great she still recognises everyone and asks after you.

The main thing is to keep doing what you are doing and try to make her as content and as happy as you possibly can and who knows, maybe with all the attention and love you will have her for another 10 years.

All the best