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Worried about my mum's memory

Puddle

Registered User
Oct 22, 2014
3
Hi folks,
New to all this but in brief, my dad and i are becoming increasingly worried about my mums memory, both short term and long term. She gets stories from the past quite muddled up, and will argue and get very irritated if we try and correct her, understandably. Her short term memory is also shot too, for instance, my dad took her statin tablet in to her last night and then we both went back into the bedroom with cuppa and water, for them both, and she said "have you put that tablet there David?" He said i just put it there minutes ago love, and we left it at that. There are many many of these little lapses.

I have been reading through some dementia leaflets and understand that depression can also cause memory problems. Well my mum has been depressed for some time now, but won't admit it, or accept that tablets may help. They recently had to sell their beautiful home, due to money problems, and are now renting. My mum just cannot come to terms with this and is very very bitter and angry. Saying that she started in the slums and is now back in the slums. This is far from true, they are renting a beautiful bungalow, with very nice gardens, but the kitchen leaves something to be desired. She has got used to the good life and now its gone!

My father and i have not been able to broach the subject yet, but the time is coming as her memory seems to be getting worse by the week.

Thanks for listening

Puddle x

Sorry I put this in the wrong thread earlier, sorry to lilac blossom for thread hijacking :eek: :confused:
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Hi Puddle and welcome to TP :)

I'm sorry that you and your parents are in this situation.

As your mum already has a medical condition eg is on statins, might you and your dad be able to contact her GP to explain your worries and to ask whether they could do some basic tests? These might include blood tests for things like thyroid problems, as well as a short memory test. The GP may be able to present it as a general check-up...many GPs do. Then if the GP thinks that memory / cognitive functioning is a problem, they can refer on to a specialist.

Might be worth a try? Hope you get some support soon.

Lindy xx
 

lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,319
East Kent
Hello Puddle . Welcome to TP.
I am sorry to hear your concerns about your Mum.

It is not only Depression or Dementia that can cause these symptoms , lacking certain things like vitamin B12, Folic Acid etc can cause dementia like symptoms, so can the menopause.

So when you see the GP it would be a good idea to ask them to do a blood test for things that can cause memory problems. I did this with my dad , turned out he was very low on Folic Acid , that was a huge relief.

It may be a good idea to keep a diary for a while about what is happening with mum and your concerns . Which you can give to the GP before any visit . Personally I would do this without mum knowing .

From what you have written you may have problems getting mum to visit the GP.
If that is the case please ask on here we will be able to come up with several ideas .

Hope this helps.
 

Puddle

Registered User
Oct 22, 2014
3
Hi Puddle and welcome to TP :)

I'm sorry that you and your parents are in this situation.

As your mum already has a medical condition eg is on statins, might you and your dad be able to contact her GP to explain your worries and to ask whether they could do some basic tests? These might include blood tests for things like thyroid problems, as well as a short memory test. The GP may be able to present it as a general check-up...many GPs do. Then if the GP thinks that memory / cognitive functioning is a problem, they can refer on to a specialist.

Might be worth a try? Hope you get some support soon.

Lindy xx

Thanks for the welcome Lindy.

And that is a good idea, I will discuss it with my Dad and speak to gp too if Dad agrees.

Thank you

Puddle x
 

rwmlb1978

Registered User
Mar 4, 2015
7
We have a similar problem to this, we are at the stage where our concerns are escalating and we feel that some sort of GP visit is necessary, however, our mother is very anti GP and has always been the strong matriarchal female in the family. She has many concerns about the legitimacy of pharmaceutical intervention due to lots of internet 'literature' on the subject.

So, these last few days us kids (although we are all over 35 now, hehe) have got together to visit and see if we can get through to our mum for her sake, but also mainly for my dads sake who is bearing the responsibility of becoming more of a carer, and the added responsibilities that brings. This did not go well, she was very resistant to any suggestion of any sort of visit to the GP and was insistent that she is fine even though we can all reel off a list of instances that cause us concern (although we do not want to, there is no recognition of any of the things she does). This initial unease which is fully understandable is then usually transferred straight on to my father who has been 'telling us stories' and 'saying things about her' to us.

In the end she got her way and we stopped voicing our concerns as it was upsetting for everyone. And then started to give us examples of things she can remember. But would not contemplate that in the last 2 weeks she has written the christmas cards for next christmas multiple times on multiple occassions.

Obviously, the problem is still there, we still have our concerns and dont really know the next steps to take.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but i hope my slightly long winded post will show that we are in a very similar situation and will be keeping a close eye on this thread.

All the best
Colyn, Alyn & Lynne
 

samsam44

Registered User
Mar 7, 2015
2
worried about my partners mum

HI
I'm new to this, but it's a similar worry.

My partners mum was starting to forget things previously to being very ill and ending up in hospital with pneumonia. Since returning home her short term memory seems to be deteriating, she is displaying confusion and repeating things. She also suffers from diabetes and emphysema. We are both worried about her as she lives on her own. My partner has recently attended the GP with her, they have upped her tablets due to her sugar levels being high and referred her to a memory clinic. Do you know how long the waiting list is and how we can support her.

Thanks Samsam44
 
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