hello i have never used a forum before but desperately need to talk to talk to someone outside of my family. i am 24 years of age and my dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia about a year ago. i feel incredibly selfish as i feel i have not given my mum the support she needs. to be honest i am finding it incredibly difficult and i avoid visiting my parents as much as possibly because it absolutely breaks my heart. i have been in denial for some time but recently my sister got married and i realised the extent of his illness. After giving her away he repeatedly asked "who got married today then?" unfortunately he has always had a problem with alcohol. after a spell in hospital he gave it up but over the last few months he has started drinking again in large quantities. obviously this doesn't help his condition and it certainly doesn't help my mum. she is beside herself with worry. i didn't realise how much things are getting to her until tonight when she phoned me up sobbing. she was uncontrollable for over half an hour, just saying that it is all getting to her. the problem id she refuses to accept any outside help as she feels she is letting him down. sometimes he is very "with it" and other times he is extremely confused. she feels that he is not at the point where he would allow anyone outside the family to help. i have tried to persuade her to find a support group in order that she meets people who are in the same situation ( she suffers in silence most of the time for fear of upsetting the family). i really don't know what to do! i would like to help her more but if i am honest, his illness really scares me! What can i do? I am worried for my mum's health!!!