My Mother is 54 years old. She has had a bad memory for as long as i can remember or a few years, but recently i found out about alzheimers and dementia and started tuning in more to my Mother and her forgetfulness. She is always loosing things such as her phone or a charger but she does always find it again on her own. The odd time she will forget that she already told me something or showed me something but i will remind her that she already told me about it and she will remember. Sometimes she struggles to find words but always finds the word eventually. She does remember lots of things at the same time, but i am very worried because i really do not want her to have alzheimers since she is really young and i don't think i would be able to cope if she did have it. My friend told me that i shouldn't be worrying so much as it doesn't sound too serious. Maybe i am overthinking things as i do that a lot but i just don't know what to do.
Worried about my mother
- Thread starter girl123
- Start date
Good morning @girl123 and welcome to the forum.
I understand that this is worrying for you but given the current circumstances it might be difficult to get a GP to begin a process of assessment. Have you discussed your concerns with your mother?
When things are calmer with the health service you could make an appointment with your mum’s GP and go along with her. Keep a note of your concerns and perhaps share that with the GP before the appointment. It may not be dementia as other issues can cause similar symptoms.
This factsheets may be of interest to you -
www.alzheimers.org.uk
I understand that this is worrying for you but given the current circumstances it might be difficult to get a GP to begin a process of assessment. Have you discussed your concerns with your mother?
When things are calmer with the health service you could make an appointment with your mum’s GP and go along with her. Keep a note of your concerns and perhaps share that with the GP before the appointment. It may not be dementia as other issues can cause similar symptoms.
This factsheets may be of interest to you -
What is dementia? Symptoms, causes and treatments
The word 'dementia' describes a set of symptoms that over time can affect memory, problem-solving, language and behaviour. Alzheimer's disease is the most common type of dementia.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Hello @girl123. Welcome to Dementia Talking Point.
It`s very worrying when we are aware something may be wrong.
Is your mother a very busy lady? Does she do lots of things at the same time? Is she Multi-tasking? I might be wrong, it`s just the impression I get.
The only way you can be sure if there is something amiss is to seek medical advice. You can do this by yourself, by making an appointment with your mother`s doctor, in confidence ,to share your worries. The doctor may not discuss your mother with you but will listen and advise you.
Make a short diary of worrying events to take with you. It will help.
It`s very worrying when we are aware something may be wrong.
Is your mother a very busy lady? Does she do lots of things at the same time? Is she Multi-tasking? I might be wrong, it`s just the impression I get.
The only way you can be sure if there is something amiss is to seek medical advice. You can do this by yourself, by making an appointment with your mother`s doctor, in confidence ,to share your worries. The doctor may not discuss your mother with you but will listen and advise you.
Make a short diary of worrying events to take with you. It will help.
Welcome to DTP girl123. From what you've posted it seems like general age related forgetfulness - I'm a similar age to your Mum and do the same things sometimes. Your friend is right, try not to overthink or worry about things if you can, although the current coronavirus situation is obviously causing a lot of anxiety and worry for everyone at the moment. It may help to discuss your concerns with your Mum if you are feeling over-anxious, and perhaps once things start to return to normal she will think about having a well-woman check up with her GP if it would help to put your mind at rest.
Try not to worry too much @girl123 at the moment. Easier said than done I know. As others have said write a brief diary of things that concern you, and when things are back to normal suggest a check with the GP if you are still concerned.
I was wondering if it’s the menopause, that can play havoc with your memory and general ability to do things specially if you are busy and stressed out.
Also people with dementia do forget things, but they also forget that they forgot if you know what I mean. My mother would blames the neighbours for things she lost rather than remember she’d hidden them to keep them ‘safe’.
I was wondering if it’s the menopause, that can play havoc with your memory and general ability to do things specially if you are busy and stressed out.
Also people with dementia do forget things, but they also forget that they forgot if you know what I mean. My mother would blames the neighbours for things she lost rather than remember she’d hidden them to keep them ‘safe’.
Yes actually she is on her menopause at the moment, I was thinking the same thing but i didn't know for sure if memory loss could be affected by menopause. She is a teacher and is stressed out a lot but since we have been off work due to the coronavirus she hasn't been stressed much. Maybe since she isn't stressed its a change for her brain and it could just be a sort of 'aftershock' to stress? Thank you so much for your reply. Stay safe
Thank you so much for your reply. Yes it is most likely normal age related memory loss and i will take your advice if i get more anxious about it . Stay safe
Yes she is a very busy lady, takes care of her own mother e.g checks up on her, does her shopping etc. She is also a teacher and does have a lot of stress at school as she works with children that have difficulty learning. She does a lot of activities such as choir, daily gym, walks with her friends. When everything calms down i may make an appointment. Thank you for your reply, stay safe
When I became aware of problems with my mum, what I did was wrote to her GP outlining things I noticed that had changed with her behaviour, odd things she'd done, loss of logic, understanding of anything new, & lack of spacial awareness - asking him to keep my concerns in strictest confidence from my mum. I made an appointment for her to see the GP using a recent tummy upset as an excuse, then on the morning of her appt I took the letter to the surgery, then when we went back for her appt in the afternoon, he had read my letter. She went in for her appt on her own to start with, then he called me in saying he & mum had had a chat & thought an "MOT" was a good idea & they agreed it would be helpful if I was "in" on her appts etc if I was agreeable - he was brilliant how he dealt with it. From then on mum had a variety of tests, brain scan, visits by OTs & others from the Older Persons Mental Health Unit. She loved all the attention & although her diagnosis was Alzheimer's - she seems blissfully unaware. Good luck!
Thank you for sharing that, did you notice any similar things in your mother as i am noticing in my mother?
This is dementia
August 2018- the gas man calls, both the cooker & gas fire are condemned
October 2018- Mum calls to say her gas fire isn't working, I say it's been disconnected
A few days later- Mum calls, her gas fire isn't working so we go through it again
November 2018-She calls because her fire isn't working
Early 2019- I realise that Mum is loosing weight
April 2019-I realise that Mum is unable to use her oven
May 2019- everything falls into place, Mum can't use the new cooker and isn't eating properly. Now begins the journey to get her diagnosed and that's not easy.
August 2018- the gas man calls, both the cooker & gas fire are condemned
October 2018- Mum calls to say her gas fire isn't working, I say it's been disconnected
A few days later- Mum calls, her gas fire isn't working so we go through it again
November 2018-She calls because her fire isn't working
Early 2019- I realise that Mum is loosing weight
April 2019-I realise that Mum is unable to use her oven
May 2019- everything falls into place, Mum can't use the new cooker and isn't eating properly. Now begins the journey to get her diagnosed and that's not easy.
I am doing all the things that you have mentioned, but I do not have dementia - I am a carer for someone with dementia. There are times when I worry that I might be going down with it too, but basically it is just stress. My mind is so filled with things that I have to remember about my OH, that there isnt enough room left for anything else!
If you look at other posts where people are worried that their relative has dementia, you will see that dementia isnt just about forgetting things - your whole brain becomes affected, so your reasoning and thinking processes become skewed and you do and say some pretty bizarre things, often acting completely out of character. You dont mention anything like that. The first time I realised that my mum had dementia was when she phoned up and told me that an old and very dear friend of hers was stealing from her. When I started to investigate things I discovered more and more peculiar things that she was doing - like writing nasty letters to all her neighbours and posting them through their doors, which was something that was completely out of character for her.
If you look at other posts where people are worried that their relative has dementia, you will see that dementia isnt just about forgetting things - your whole brain becomes affected, so your reasoning and thinking processes become skewed and you do and say some pretty bizarre things, often acting completely out of character. You dont mention anything like that. The first time I realised that my mum had dementia was when she phoned up and told me that an old and very dear friend of hers was stealing from her. When I started to investigate things I discovered more and more peculiar things that she was doing - like writing nasty letters to all her neighbours and posting them through their doors, which was something that was completely out of character for her.
Very sorry to hear about your mother, yeah stress is probably the cause for my mother as well. Thank you for your help
Hi Fiona,
I have just posted in this forum about my Dad and his refusal to seek testing, i have spoken to our family GP but he booked an incorrect appointment (causing more problems) but I may consider writing to him to outline my concerns and see if his will consider an MOT for my Dad. Anything is worth a try at this point, i'e had anxiety over this for 3 years and it's starting to destroy mine and my Dads relationship which is not what i want!!
Sorry to jump in but just wanted to say thank you for sharing
Jen
Hi,
This is very similar to my Dad, although not with the Gas and Electric. Her will call me to say his emails aren't working so i go round fix it, write down instructions on how to access it and the next day he will call me saying his emails aren't working with no recollection of me fixing it. Refuses to take his own notes because "there is nothing wrong me i can remember it". How are you approaching getting a diagnosis? This is where I am really struggling and starting to lose my patience
Jen
Hi Jen,
I'm glad my post was helpful. I do think it's a good idea to write to his GP outlining the changes you've noticed in his behaviour etc & also how it's causing you so much anxiety.
If you can somehow get your dad to the GP under false pretences, using something else as an excuse for an appointment, (? medication review or something) that's ideal then you haven't got to even mention anything to your dad about getting him tested - that will be down to the GP. (Mind you at the moment with the lockdown, it might not be possible until restrictions are lifted, but you can at least write the letter).
Good luck!
Fiona
Menopause could well be the culprit ! There are other medical conditions that can cause memory loss.
Could you show excessive interest in her menopause, explaining you want to be educated for what you will be dealing with yourself in the future ? This way maybe she will discuss how she is feeling?
One very constructive thing you could do is get a power of attorney (POA) set up. You could use your fears of this Corona virus as the reason.
If the person actually has dementia and you do not have a POA things can be much more difficult for you.
Could you show excessive interest in her menopause, explaining you want to be educated for what you will be dealing with yourself in the future ? This way maybe she will discuss how she is feeling?
One very constructive thing you could do is get a power of attorney (POA) set up. You could use your fears of this Corona virus as the reason.
If the person actually has dementia and you do not have a POA things can be much more difficult for you.
I have one other thought that may or may not be useful.
I tend to channel my worries into action, if that works for you this may help.
The university of Tasmania is doing online training in dementia.
I have signed up for it.
i will not tell anyone I am doing it, so if I fail there is no disgrace. Also it is
free!
I am doing the preventing dementia. Starts in May.
mooc.utas.edu.au
I have enclosed the link for the July course ( understanding dementia)If you wanted to take a look.
I tend to channel my worries into action, if that works for you this may help.
The university of Tasmania is doing online training in dementia.
I have signed up for it.
i will not tell anyone I am doing it, so if I fail there is no disgrace. Also it is
free!
I am doing the preventing dementia. Starts in May.
Understanding Dementia (2020-07)
Participants in the free Understanding Dementia MOOC will gain an increased knowledge of dementia, including its causes, symptoms and ways of responding to the needs of people living with the condition.
I have enclosed the link for the July course ( understanding dementia)If you wanted to take a look.
@Weasell , I've done both those courses and thoroughly recommend them. The Preventing Dementia one is very helpful at helping to sort out the fact from the fiction about what causes dementia and what might or might not help prevent it. The Understanding Dementia one is really wide-ranging looking at the science of the brain as well as the practical ways we can help those living with Dementia.
