Worried about my dad

[okmurrays]

Hi
My dad has Alzheimer's. He's still at home being cared for by my mum. He had a bad chest infection earlier in the year and it seemed to take his Alz down a notch too. Made him much worse.
He's come down with another chest infection and we are all worried sick that he'll decline further as a result.I feel I'm holding my breath.

Don't know what I'm expecting from posting this thread, but I wanted to get it off my chest.
Thanks for reading.

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Sharon,

What you are expecting from posting on this thread is, I think, an aknowledgement that you are worried about your father and are right to be worried.

I think when they are less active, circulation and everything associated slows down. My husband is much more `chesty` than he ever was, but he isn`t going out as much, is moving much more slowly and is less active even within the house.

The only precautions I have taken are to ensure he had his one off pneumonia jab and a flu jab every year.

Where there is a general frailty, less efficient functioning of all organs, those who are cared for are going to be more prone to infection and I share your concerns.

It`s an added concern when the dementia is affected.

Love xx

 

[jenniferpa]

I think if you're elderly any infection can set you back, and as we've all seen, that goes double when there's dementia involved. Of course you're worried. It's particlarly difficult because you can't actually see for yourself how he is - no matter how forthcoming your mother is about it, most of the information you'll be getting is second hand. I don't know whether it's true that a trouble shared is a trouble halved, but I do think a trouble achnowledged takes the edge off it a bit.

Best wishes

 

[Skye]

Hi Sharon

Yes, you're right, any infection can have a devastation effect on anyone suffering from dementia. I know you've read my thrad about John, so you know what can happen.

BUT -- it doesn't always happen that way. Some people have had infections and bounced right back. I was going to say it depends on the physical strength of the patient, but that's not necessarily true either; John was very strong prior to his first infection.

What I'm trying to say is, no-one knows! (as ever with AD).

It must be so difficult for you, being so far away, but try to stay positive until you know more.

Keep in touch,and let us know how it goes.

Love,

 

[okmurrays]

Thanks, all your thoughts are much appreciated.
My OH is the other side of Canada, in Toronto until Friday, and he's got a lot on his plate, so I don't want to burden him with it. I'm 'home alone' with my 12 year old and our pup. I don't want to worry Jen, my daughter, particularly as she's always adored her 'Poppa', and although Molly, the pup is a good listener,it's not the same somehow.
My sister's in the thick of it, and sees dad decline day by day. Mum is being brilliant, but I feel I have to be there for them, rather than being able to lean on them. If that makes sense.
I do appreciate being able to post on here.
Hopefully mum caught the infection quickly enough this time. Unfortunately dad tends to like to wander off for walks, and rarely dresses for the weather. I had a word with him this morning and he promised to 'be good'.
Let's hope he rests and gets well soon.

 

[okmurrays]

Update

My mum's gone down with the infection too, and sounds dreadful. She managed to go to the consultants with dad and my sister today for him to have a check up. She mentioned his aggression, and the consultant seems more worried about her than he is about my dad now.
The consultant's loathe to put dad on any medication for the aggression yet, and advised her to keep out of his way when he's aggressive. Hard when you have to watch dad to make sure he doesn't wander off and you're locked away with him 24/7. Thank heavens for my sister, brother in law, nephew and his girlfriend.

What broke my heart was when I said to mum that I was concerned about losing the electricity in recent storms. She said, dad wouldn't be any help now as he doesn't have any memory of anything like that. My dad was an electrician all his working life and worked on Rolls Royce aero-marine engines. It was his life, replacing ships lost in the Falklands War etc. Now he can't remember any of it. Awful how this disease eats away at a person.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Grannie G]

Everyone seems to be having such a bad time, and when you`re so far away it must make it so much worse.

I understand the consultant not wanting to give your father anything for his aggression, but he isn`t taking into account your mother`s weakened state.

With all the medication available, wouldn`t you think there would be a happy medium.

I hope your mother gets better soon.

Love xx

 

[Skye]

Hi Sharon, can't do anything to help, just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you.

John was put on quetiapine for aggression when he had his infection, and has come off it two months later without any side effects or withdrawal problems. Perhaps your mum could try again? I certainly couldn't cope with John when he was aggressive.

Love,

 

[okmurrays]

Hi
Thank you for the kind words.

My sister either goes round or calls every day, and she's keeping an eye on them. My nephew and his fiance are good too, they pop in several times a week. I exchange emails with my sister daily too, and she's going to see how things progress, and if necessary, we'll speak to Mum's GP, who's an absolute star, and will help if she can.
Thanks again. I keep thinking about my dad with his memory wiped clean of all those years of work. He was so proud to work for Rolls Royce, particularly when a ship was launched. He had photos of every one, with him and the team who built it.

Tragic.