Hi all title says worried about dad he's my mums carer. Things seem to have dipped lately. Mum was diagnosed nearly 5 years ago with early onset at 59. Mum has been refusing to go bed, get undressed and into night clothes. It's been and still is a constant battle for my dad. My mums been sleeping in her clothes a few nights and then the following morning refuses to get ready again. However this weekend my mum Kicked my dad as she was angry not wanting to go bed. However some nights it's 1am in the morning and my dad is shattered. To make matters worse my dad had a serious leg op last year and has metal pins and a donated femur. So it hurt and she bruised him. He is still on crutches and needs to rest but can't. This is not my mum at all shes not an angry person but what can we do. When I rang my dad yesterday he sounded so down he just said he was fed up with it all? I just don't know what to do to help. Any ideas to help would be great. Sorry for the moan!
Lucky x
Hi Lucky, I'm so sorry your Dad is having to cope with this. I had a very similar experience with my Mum, she too refused to go to bed but would happily sleep sitting on the sofa for most of the day if allowed to. In the end, she rarely slept for more than an hour without waking and demanded that I was in her sight and awake or all hell would break loose regardless of whether it was night or day. This resulted in me becoming totally exhausted and ended with me taking her to A & E and leaving her there because I could no longer cope or guarantee her safety.
Please contact adult social services if your Dad won't do this and see what help they can give. I so regret my actions that night even though things eventually worked out well and Mum is now settling into a home. I'm sure there would have been other options we could have explored rather than take such an extreme course of action, but I was too tired and too depressed to think straight or who to contact.
Your Mum may not need a care home, but social services were keen to promote various care packages including day care which may allow your Dad to catch up on some rest. I do hope you can get some help, but you or your Dad will need to be proactive to get it and it can take time. I really wish had done something earlier.
