Worried about mums Memory clinic results appointment tomorrow

[Pete1]

I just picked up @annielou that you had been on 'toenail duty' - well done, I appreciate that is above and beyond! I might be worth checking out the infection angle as Mum may not have the recognition or same symptoms as previously - my Mum had no idea at all that she had a UTI. From what you have posted the acceleration does seem quite acute, and the sundowning much worse. If it's any solace (not sure that it is at all actually), the old houses, parents alive, not recognising you are all 'normal' - if that makes sense. However, that then becomes more of a challenge to 'independent' living.

 

[DesperateofDevon]

Thanks for your replies xxx @Moggymad @DesperateofDevon @Pete1
The feet trial was just that a trial and your mums feet sound as yucky. Hoping to get a chiropodist to come, but mum (like me) hates people touching her feet although she managed with me doing it. But then again as I hate feet I didn't touch them much.
She alternates between saying I'll have to cut my toenails they're hurting a bit, to oh no cant have anybody touching them they're fine now, when I remind her we tried and didnt manage cut much off and mention chiropodist.
On the contrary thinking thread I said she should be called Mary as in contrary mary or maybe she could be 'the alternator'
I don't think there's any infection she seems to be going to loo as normal and not complaining of any pain or discomfort or problems. She has had problems before and when she did she usually moans or makes uncomfortable noises when at loo but hasn't recently.
In the time I've been staying (6weeks today) her confussion over things seems to have got worse but steadily so. The past few weeks she seems to be confused more often about not knowing where she lives, that happens every day now and she remembers old houses rather than current one, asking for or about her mum happens most nights now and not knowing about me, hubby and my sister is happening more too.

I would definitely contact the Clinical mental health team. Mum has been on tablets & they have helped the symptoms slow down - but that’s a double edged sword!

 

[annielou]

Thanks for replies xxx
When we went to memory clinic dr suggested mum try galantamine which she started on Sunday.
She had felt a bit sick and dizzy on Monday and Tuesday and had headaches although she gets the headache a lot.
Memory worker and Ot from memory clinic came today and I told them mum had felt sick and dizzy on Monday and Tuesday so suggested that mum take tablet with more food as mum only has two or three biscuits with cup of tea for breakfast, she said it was ok for mum to try taking it with lunch. Said it can take body little while to get used to new tablet but if got bad or more symptoms contact clinic she gave us sheet with details on. Mum has been ok today with it, or maybe because they came mid morning it distracted her and that was what we talked about for quite a while after they went so maybe just didn't notice any side effects today.
They had brought some more leaflets about alzheimers, poa, day care and to go over mums disgnosis again with mum and explain nurse would take over monitoring mums tablets and call in about a week.
They asked how things had been since last saw us, I started to say just the same, I don't know why, probably because I was trying not to be moany and be more positive today, but then I stopped myself and told them that I think her memory had got worse in last few weeks.
I told them how mum seemed confused about her house and who i was and was asking about her mum dailly now and gave them few examples.
I said that she usually has spell of confusion after been in shower in morning then not bad for few hours and then would start again being more confusd around fourish but now it started bout twoish.
I said that she doesnt wake calling out for me in night much now and didn't wake up and search for things as much as did in first couple of weeks i stayed and seemed more settled but still did lots of checking of doors gas plugs etc and I was worried that although not dangerous if i wasnt here to stop her she'd go back to waking up and checking and panicking and may go outside while checking doors locked.
I told them that since got diagnosis last week she'd been crying in night a couple of times again and been more disturbed a few nights too including last night when she got up and was riffling through handbag to check her purse was in her bag because was worried she had left it downstairs and those people living downstairs in her house might have got it.
They didn't seem to think this was anything other than mums memory and confusion progressing and suggested if I do go back home and visit maybe to visit in afternoon/evening to coincide with her being confused so not on own as much during that time.
Ot mentioned call button system with door sensors and detectors for heat etc that she mentioned in last visit as they may help me feel better if leave mum alone and she has refered us to company and says we should get a month free to try it.
They called this afternoon and someones coming out in few days. Mum is not too keen on idea but then she isnt keen on anything. If I'm ever to go home or leave mum on own at any time I'd feel better with some alerts, memory worker said if I'm thinking of going home to get these in place before I go. And to contact ss again and say I'm going home and ask for carers to be put on care plan and be reassessed.
I'm still not sure if can leave her though. Its helpful for letting us know if emergency and carers to make sure mum takes tablets but they wont help with mum getting upset, confused, scared or bored though which lately seems to be more of mums problem than safety, though I worry about her safety if gets confused and upset when alone.
Again they tried to get mum to consider carers and day care and respite, trying to say it help mum and help me get break and mum should think of bigger picture and try it for me.She agreed its not fair to me and I should have break but also said didn't want go and didn't need to and had me.
I told them been in touch with day centre and planning to visit for look round in few days which mum said she didn't know about even though did but obviously forgot and she got upset and told them how she is scared and not a joiner and doesnt know how to talk to people and was crying. Its awful seeing her upset and I know how she feels because I'm the same. We both lack confidence and are shy and uncomfortable with strangers. Thats probably why I struggle to persuade and push her to try things but I know I'm going to have to try.

 

[Pete1]

Morning @annielou, it's good that you are able to recognise the changes in Mum's dementia and are honest to yourself and others about it, that does help (I think we all try to think at the beginning the condition will improve with our support). It does sound as though Mum has moved on to a new phase which you now have to adjust to. I do understand your total support for your Mum but I think you need some support too - whether it be Mum going to a day centre (or at least trying it), respite care or home care to come in to start relieving some of the pressure so that you and your husband can have time together too. As you point out your Mum will never suggest any of these options as she has you.....what happens though if you are poorly for example? If you get an infrastructure behind you that will provide you that reassurance. and a break, It certainly has seemed relentless for sometime now. You are doing your level best to support your Mum in her time of need.....but don't forget yourself and your family in this as it won't abate. Stay strong, all the best.