Hi, I'm new to this, but feeling very sad about my mum and dad today.
My dad has had a diagnosis of Alzheimer's for about 3 years, this has been brought on however, by years of epileptic seizures, and then a fall from a height which gave him a huge fracture to his skull, and undiagnosed (at the time) brain damage. He is 82, and a lovely gentle man, (most of the time) . He suffers from urinary incontinence, and is extremely deaf. He is quite a well built chap, and my mum is petite, she is 10 years younger than him, but she is becoming increasingly aged with the stress of being dads main carer. I help where I can, but with 4 children and a job, I cannot be there as much as she needs me to be. She has a social worker for dad who has been very helpful in getting a day care placement one day a week, but when dad is 'off his feet' like he is at the moment,(he shuffles, and is liable to fall, and has to be pushed in a wheelchair outside the home) I don't know how much longer mum can cope. Dad has become more aggressive with her recently, especially when she is trying to replace his incontinence pads, and he refuses to have one on. The endless washing she has to do, of clothing and bedding, is really hard for her too. I really want mum to have some quality of life, she has so much she wants to do, and I really feel it's getting to the point that if she has to care for dad much longer, she is going to end up collapsing and dying herself. This is made worse by the guilt of knowing dad will be in a care home and the worry of how that will be for him. I don't know why I'm writing this, just looking for moral support I suppose. Any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks.
My dad has had a diagnosis of Alzheimer's for about 3 years, this has been brought on however, by years of epileptic seizures, and then a fall from a height which gave him a huge fracture to his skull, and undiagnosed (at the time) brain damage. He is 82, and a lovely gentle man, (most of the time) . He suffers from urinary incontinence, and is extremely deaf. He is quite a well built chap, and my mum is petite, she is 10 years younger than him, but she is becoming increasingly aged with the stress of being dads main carer. I help where I can, but with 4 children and a job, I cannot be there as much as she needs me to be. She has a social worker for dad who has been very helpful in getting a day care placement one day a week, but when dad is 'off his feet' like he is at the moment,(he shuffles, and is liable to fall, and has to be pushed in a wheelchair outside the home) I don't know how much longer mum can cope. Dad has become more aggressive with her recently, especially when she is trying to replace his incontinence pads, and he refuses to have one on. The endless washing she has to do, of clothing and bedding, is really hard for her too. I really want mum to have some quality of life, she has so much she wants to do, and I really feel it's getting to the point that if she has to care for dad much longer, she is going to end up collapsing and dying herself. This is made worse by the guilt of knowing dad will be in a care home and the worry of how that will be for him. I don't know why I'm writing this, just looking for moral support I suppose. Any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks.