Worried about John


Registered User
Oct 17, 2006
Dear Hazel

I've been away and only just caught up with your post I am so so sorry to hear the news about John. I can only echo what everyone else has said, thinking of you.
Love and hugs Cathyxx


Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
Hazel. I really was very sorry to read your latest post about John.

The time for being strong is here again and I know you can be.

I hope also that you will use that little support I can offer which consists of my regards, my sympathy and my very best wishes.


Registered User
Mar 23, 2005
Dear Hazel,

I have just been catching up with the last few days' worth of news. So many ups and downs, but like everyone else on TP, my thoughts are with you and John.

One thing you said really struck a chord with me:

I think matters have been taken out of my hands, and I can't bear it.
After all you have done, and continue to do, to make John's quality of life as good as possible, it must seem like a blow when matters are taken out of your hands. You are a fighter and it shows.

But at the same time, and without diminishing your hopes for John and his future, it can sometimes be a relief when others step in and take some of the weight of decision-making off our shoulders.

Whatever happens, you know that your TP family will be here with you.

Take care,



Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Thank you so much for the messages of support, they have helped me so much. You are wonderful friends, you have supported without making me talk, which is just what I needed as I struggled to come to terms with things.

John is much the same, no better, no worse. His latest swab was still infected -- despite the GP's assurance that it would clear up on its own!:( It doesn't seem to have got into his bloodstream yet, thankfully. I'm feeding him Manuka honey after each meal (thanks, gigi).

I wrote a strong letter of complaint to the GP practice manager last night, encouraged by the staff. They (GPs) have been most unhelpful in all sorts of ways. They seem to think that because we're self-funding they can abrogate care. Well no, they can't.

I've got a meeting of the Integrated Care Pathways panel tomorrow, provided John is OK. We're supposed to be discussing end of life care! I emailed a copy of my letter to the chairman in case I couldn't make it, so that will be on the agenda, as an example of bad practice!

I must be feeling better, I'm beginning to fight back!:eek:

Much love and thanks again to you all,


Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
East Midlands
must be feeling better, I'm beginning to fight back!
Would not have expected anything else, Hazel...go for it!!!

Good to hear from you..and to hear John is no worse...:)

Take care of yourself, too..

Love Gigi xx


What do you mean by "beginning to fight back", Hazel?

As if you ever knew any different!

Keep it going! And keep feeling better too! Take care of ... everything!



Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Dear Hazel,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and John.
The hurt and the pain when we are told by the Doctors' are not what we want to hear.
Thank God for all the friends on Talking Point.
Love and best wishes


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
Hazel: I am just catching up on news I have missed over the past two weeks.

I am so sorry to hear your latest posts. Keep it up Hazel - it is hard but you know there is so much support here for you.

Take care Love Jan


Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
Go for it Hazel


Your message is an inspiration to us all.

If you can make a difference it will be so worthwhile. As you know, 18 months ago my Mum was classed by the GP as being beyond hope.

All of us felt that this was wrong at the time. However there appears to be a feeling amongst many doctors that dementia sufferers are really not worth much. I first noted this on the HDU ward after Mum had surgery when a nurse thought that she should be written up for IV feeding but that it was not done. It was only hindsight that made me realise that this was odd!

Hope that John does improve and I am sure that you will get him the care he deserves. You are a courageous lady.


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Registered User
Jan 9, 2008
Hi Hazel

Just caught up on your thread. Can I wish you all the best for tomorrow. You are one fiesty lady and don't you let anyone forget it:)

Hugs and best wishes


PS The flowers which you posted for my birthday were fantastic. Thank-you:)


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
Dear Hazel,

You and John are both in my thoughts. As you face this final stage, I can only say that John has been so very fortunate to have had you "in his corner" over the course of this dreadful disease. There are still things you can do for him to ensure his time left is as peaceful as possible. Knowing you as we do from TP, I'm sure you will not cease doing everything you can for a single moment.

Please know you have the love and support of us all. We admire and respect you so much. Sending you every best wish for the grace, the courage and the strength you need at this time.

{{{BIG HUGS}}}


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Thanks, everyone. I really want to get to that meeting. It's so important that they hear things from the carer's point of view. I'll report back.