Worried about hospital visit.

[jaymor]

I have to take my husband to hospital today. He has been in his nursing home for nearly 4 weeks and has settled really well but the thought of taking him to hospital has really got me uptight. When he was in the asessment unit he developed cellulitis and the doctor said he had detected a heart murmur so he was referred for some type of echo testing. The Sister at the assessment centre said that sometimes a heart murmur would show when an infection was present and then dissappear when the infection went.

I will be driving him the 20+ miles to hospital with his one to one carer with us. I am just very worried about having a long wait at the hospital, him not understanding what is going on and if he will co-operate when asked to undress. I have not had to deal with him in a hospital for over 12 months and then he was fine but his deteriation in the last 4 months or so has been so drastic I fear the worst. Knowing how I feel about this ordeal, I really am at a loss to know how it will affect my poor husband. I just don't want the settled and happy person he has become returned to the tormented and very unhappy person he was. If only we could just walk in, be seen and walk out but that is not going to happen is it? Wish it was 7pm tonight and it would all be over. The way things are going I may need a couple of incontinence pads for myself before I leave home.

Jay.

 

[Sue J]

Jay

Could you ring the clinic where your husband is going and just express your concerns and say that if it is possible for him to be seen as speedily as possible you'd be very grateful.

I had an appointment last week and was very worried about waiting, I was taken in less than five minutes after my arrival and 5 mins before my appointment. It can happen.

Hope all goes well for you
Best wishes
Sue

 

[Pheath]

Yes, we also queue jumped at the hospital when I said dad had dementia and could get agitated waiting. It’s worth a try. Very best of luck.

 

[rajahh]

The more tense you are about it the more the chance that your husband will pick up on it. Try not to worry, Easier said than done I know.

Good suggestion though about ringing beforehand and expaining.

Jeannette

 

[jaymor]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I have telephoned cardiology and they say there is never 'usually' a wait. The procedure takes about 30 minutes. The fact that he has never stayed still for 3 minutes over the last 4 years does not bode well but hey ho, what will be will be. At least they know what to expect when he walks through the door.
Trying to calm down, as you are right, he will pick up on my agitation. I might frighten the one to one carer too. Being in a car with two demented people and one of them driving might be just a bit too much for them, may be another incontinenece pad mad be needed.

Jay

 

[Onlyme]

I might frighten the one to one carer too. Being in a car with two demented people and one of them driving might be just a bit too much for them, may be another incontinenece pad mad be needed.

Jay

I had to laugh at your ability to paint a smile on your face and carry on even though you want to go and hide until its all over.

I really hope that everything goes ok for you both.

 

[jaymor]

I am home. I am at the moment bricking up the front door. I never want to go out again so might as well cure the draft for good. Seriously not as bad as I thought. Went to the nursing home half an hour before we needed to go. He had had a bad start to the day and had done a bit of head banging but after a shower was fine. He put his coat on, then it came off. Gave up trying so into car in shirt sleeves. He talked none stop all the way to the hospital and bless him, his male one to one talked to him allowing me to drive in peace. We were seen within 10 minutes and the proceedure only took 10 minutes not 30 as we had been told. But, and there always is a but, it took nearly 30 minute to get his shirt off and then back on again. The lady was very good with him as I had told her he had dementia. She wanted him to lie flat on a bed on his left side and she was going to sit next to him on the bed. That took another 15 minutes, lying on left side, quite easy, keeping still, not so easy and chatting to her as she tried to concentrate on her machine and taking pictures was a problem.
Back at the nursing home it was tea and cake for me, the jibbering idiot, my husband he was fine. No idea he had been out. We are drinking tea in his room and he is chatting away, about what I have no idea but at least he is talking. The door opens and in comes the man from the next room insisting that it was his room and he climbs on the bed and settles himself down. His one to one is trying to get him to understand he is in the wrong room but nextdoor neighbour is having non of it. Hubby continues to chat as if there is only us in the room. Carer gets our intruder off the bed and to the door. He opens it and tries to get him through but again not having it and is back on the bed in a flash wih a pillow over his head. The one to one finally managed to get his charge up and out of the room. All this going on, my insides turning somersaults and hubby sitting in his armchair drinking his tea and still chatting away oblivious to the chaos going on in his room. When I left I sat in the car and burst out laughing. I started the day a quivering wreck and finished it laughing like a loony.

I am now watching a squirrel picking up the nuts left for him in our garden but he is obviously not hungry as he is digging up the lawn to bury them, aagh, not what I want. Good job my husband is safely in his nursing home and can't see the carnage going on in the garden.

Who says dementia is difficult?

Jay

 

[Sue J]

Glad it went better than you'd expected and it's over for both of you.
Best
Sue

 

[Anongirl]

Glad you got through it Jay (sort of )! Get an early night x

 

[jeany123]

That went well then

Well done Jaymor

Jeany x