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Worried about boyfriend's memory - his mom has alzheimer

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by fabact, Oct 16, 2017.

  1. fabact

    fabact New member

    Oct 16, 2017
    2
    Hi, I found this forum because I don't know how to handle the following and wondering if anyone has advice..I also don't know if I'm posting in the right place so sorry if it's not in the right forum.

    My 40 year old boyfriend of almost a year now has a mom with Alzheimer's. He himself was recently in an accident 6 months ago and I took care of him during the recovery. They did an MRI and found nothing after the accident.

    However over the last 6 months spending more time with him I've noticed he forgets a fair amount of things.. Sometimes it's little things like agreeing on a particular time when we should meet, other times it's bigger things....one time he couldn't remember we were going to go away to visit my dad for his birthday on a particular weekend. He knew we had something planned but couldn't remember what.

    I'm scared as to how to approach this. I don't want to be alarmist and I don't want to freak him out. He uses Siri a lot to remind him of things.

    I don't know how to approach the topic or just to wait to talk about it with him.
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    944
    Nottinghamshire
    Hello fabact,

    Just because your boyfriend's mum has Alzheimer's it doesn't follow that he will too. My mum had Alzheimer's and her identical twin sister did not.

    From what you've described he's probably just not listening properly. I have a bad habit of saying "uh huh" when my kids are talking to me and I'm doing something else. They've still not learnt that it means I'm not listening!!

    Try not to worry. It's changes in behaviour that indicate that there might be a problem, not just changes in memory.
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    5,207
    Female
    South coast
    Hello fabact and welcome to Talking Point.

    Im constantly forgetting things - where Ive put my keys, arrangements that Ive made, what day it is - sometimes I wonder whether I have dementia too!
    Actually, I know that I dont - its just that my mind is so crammed with things that I have to remember and so stressed with caring for my husband that it cant retain everything. Your boyfriend has Siri; I have lists and a diary:rolleyes:
    As bunpoots says, its not just about memory problems, its about disordered thinking and changes in behaviour.
     
  4. Lou16

    Lou16 New member

    Jan 24, 2018
    81
    Female
    Hi there and welcome (I’m fairly new too)
    I can totally understand where your worry is coming from, however dementia isn’t hereditary, only in some rare cases like Niemann pick type C disease, Huntington’s etc. There’s plenty people out there who forget many things. I put a salt pot in the fridge the other day and put the butter in the cupboard. I’m 16, my family have a shop and my grandma passed away 1 month ago (she had dementia) so does that mean I have it? That’s what I think but it isn’t. It’s because I’m busy all the time, lots of things going on in my mind and I’m tired. I’m thinking of something else as I’m doing these things so my mind isnt focusing on them tasks. I can understand with him having an accident too. Maybe try to get him to not use Siri so much for helping him as he should try keep his mind active. Also I think you would notice changes in his behaviour too, that can be a big indication.

    Lou x
     
  5. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    9,163
    Female
    London
    #5 Beate, Feb 6, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2018
    Not entirely true. There is such a thing as familial dementia, and Huntingtons etc are not forms of dementia. It's still rare though.

    https://www.alzheimers.net/2-19-15-familial-alzheimers-disease/
     
  6. Tiller Girl

    Tiller Girl Registered User

    May 14, 2012
    88
    As others have said any dementia is more than just forgetting things. He could be worrying about his mom or stressed at work. Either of those tend to make you lose concentration.

    He may be just forgetful, quite a lot of people are.
     
  7. fabact

    fabact New member

    Oct 16, 2017
    2
    I should also add. His mother's mother also had alzheimers. So, The granmother and the mother have it.
     
  8. Lou16

    Lou16 New member

    Jan 24, 2018
    81
    Female
    #8 Lou16, Feb 7, 2018
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2018
    Well Huntington’s may not have dementia in the name but it’s stil death of brain cells therefore it still comes under the dementia sector and still found in dementia care homes. And Huntington’s unfortunately can turn into dementia, such a shame.
     

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