2/8/04
Thank you to all of you who replied to my first message.
Now Question Two – this is my big problem at present ( I do realise that it probably does not seem big to many of you as many of you are coping with much much more difficult circumstances than I am) but still what I do about this one could have big effects on us all as a family.
To recap (in brief) – I am 52 my hubby is 51 and has been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s. He ahs been unwell for five years and not worked and was originally diagnosed with ME (that’s another story for later). So I am the wage earner.
Now my problem is
Whether or when to give up work?
His first reaction was to want me to give up work quickly so we could have some quality time together before his health deteriorated. However that would mean a serious drop in income and also all my friends keep saying things like ‘don’t do it until you have to, you need work to keep you alert and interested etc’.
My husband does not need me at home to look after him continuously at present but when I am at home he has a better quality of life as I can drive him out, organise cleaning or gardening together, etc etc and also we would like to visit a few places in Great Britain before his health deteriorates.
The other problem is that as a teacher, the holidays are fantastic and thank God his diagnosis came just before the big holiday, but in tern time it is a nightmare as I work very long hours at school and then spend a lot of my evenings and weekends working as well or exhausted. I struggled through the last few weeks on pure will power. Since last September I have gone to work nearly every day feeling either stressed or ill or exhausted – can I go on like this? The quality of emotional support and physical support I can give my hubby in term time is poor. And if we have a ‘crisis’ like the lost spectacles or the telly tuning late at night it gets even worse.
The issue is further complicated by having a 22 year old and a 17 year old living at home both of whom need some support from me for reasons I won’t go into. And a mother and mother in law in 80’s living 100 miles away (although they are quite independent at present).
So sorry to ramble on but it is such a relief to pour all this out –
Does anyone have any experience of how to cope with working and caring?
Should I take some time off and ‘travel’ before it is too late?
Should I consider part time work?
If anyone has cared and worked I would really appreciate hearing how you coped and managed the situation.
Has anyone been a position to ‘fulfil some dreams’ before the person they are caring for ‘s health has deteriorated?
All suggestions would be appreciated and thank you for your time for reading all this!
Egg
Thank you to all of you who replied to my first message.
Now Question Two – this is my big problem at present ( I do realise that it probably does not seem big to many of you as many of you are coping with much much more difficult circumstances than I am) but still what I do about this one could have big effects on us all as a family.
To recap (in brief) – I am 52 my hubby is 51 and has been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s. He ahs been unwell for five years and not worked and was originally diagnosed with ME (that’s another story for later). So I am the wage earner.
Now my problem is
Whether or when to give up work?
His first reaction was to want me to give up work quickly so we could have some quality time together before his health deteriorated. However that would mean a serious drop in income and also all my friends keep saying things like ‘don’t do it until you have to, you need work to keep you alert and interested etc’.
My husband does not need me at home to look after him continuously at present but when I am at home he has a better quality of life as I can drive him out, organise cleaning or gardening together, etc etc and also we would like to visit a few places in Great Britain before his health deteriorates.
The other problem is that as a teacher, the holidays are fantastic and thank God his diagnosis came just before the big holiday, but in tern time it is a nightmare as I work very long hours at school and then spend a lot of my evenings and weekends working as well or exhausted. I struggled through the last few weeks on pure will power. Since last September I have gone to work nearly every day feeling either stressed or ill or exhausted – can I go on like this? The quality of emotional support and physical support I can give my hubby in term time is poor. And if we have a ‘crisis’ like the lost spectacles or the telly tuning late at night it gets even worse.
The issue is further complicated by having a 22 year old and a 17 year old living at home both of whom need some support from me for reasons I won’t go into. And a mother and mother in law in 80’s living 100 miles away (although they are quite independent at present).
So sorry to ramble on but it is such a relief to pour all this out –
Does anyone have any experience of how to cope with working and caring?
Should I take some time off and ‘travel’ before it is too late?
Should I consider part time work?
If anyone has cared and worked I would really appreciate hearing how you coped and managed the situation.
Has anyone been a position to ‘fulfil some dreams’ before the person they are caring for ‘s health has deteriorated?
All suggestions would be appreciated and thank you for your time for reading all this!
Egg