Work and coping


Registered User
Sep 16, 2005
Was in training today at work, a little course called leaders leading and basically it was a program designed to explain managers roles in the organisation and what is required of managers...
In it they had this model of the employee and basically there were 3 components to the employee, one was their skills, knowledge and experience, another was their aptitude for the job and the third was their values, beliefs and inhibitors. Basically the theory was that you need a match between all three for a person to be suitable for a job, i.e. if you have the knowledge, experience and skills, the aptitude and the values to match the job you are suited to it.
In the discussion someone brought up the topic of employees that were suffering stress outside the workplace and how that could be an 'inhibitor' to their suitability (and I thought to myself u-huh that can sure make it difficult to find the motivation :rolleyes:) and the instructor agreed with them and then explained that everyone tends to go through some dramas outside of work sometimes and thats when the organisation should simply implement temporary strategies to deal with the problems the employee is facing to get them through the rough patch. And I thought damn yeah sometimes it would be good to have a few strategies to get me through the rough times...but..
But then the instructor went on and said 'Anyways these things are usually temporary situations, so don't cause major problems for the employees suitability for the job.'...'Afterall its not very often that such dramas like a family member dying or divorce occurring last much longer than a few months or not like they go on and on for 10yrs or anything'...
At this point I restrained a giggle...(hysterical??)
And then to finish the topic off she says 'And if for some reason it did go on for such a period, well then...' <I lean in with baited breath to here what words of wisdom she would espouse>
'If it went on for such a long period, I guess then you would have to say that perhaps the employee is not suited to the job' :eek:
Oh gawd just what I needed to hear!!!! Why don't we just sign me up for unemployment benefits now!?
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Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
'If it went on for such a long period, I guess then you would have to say that perhaps the employee is not suited to the job
Now that hit a Note in me :rolleyes: As I had the foresight to leave my Job 6 years ago , because they only so much compassionate leave that my old Job would give me .

They did have a five year break you could have & after those 5 years without pay you can go back into the Job , but that really only for mothers who have babies , no good for me .

6 years on and its still going on for me, my choice I know . But I did not have that much of choices back then 6 years old .

Lucky for you even if you don't perspective it like that , you have your mother also helping you care for your father while your at work hopefully your mother has help, while your at work .

Don't leave the Job what ever you do xx
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Registered User
Mar 23, 2008
coast of texas
..that's when you start teaching them..


I can remember going to a similar class over here. I remember flat out standing up and telling the teacher they needed to go back to school....that there are issues that cause problems but do not inhibit a work ethic. He told me I was bunk. I went over his head...I took my record of work history with me. I started educating the uneducated in life. Needless to say I did have to step down because of moms position in her disease. When I did tho the corporation reconfigured my job and I now work from home (and will not be going back to an office, still working from home) I spend quite a bit of time helping set plans into action that help the employee to be a better employee and help them to keep their jobs.

It takes a lot of time and effort to change the ideas of management, but when you give them the whole picture and they start working with "disabilities in the family structure" and it gets out to the public sector you would be surprised at how their bottomline quickly starts getting bigger and the smiles on the wallets get bigger too.:(:):D

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Thought provoking Nat - the organisation I work for (when not off with stress!) ensures every person (from a handyperson to Chief Exec person) goes through 'value based' tests before they are even able to demonstrate skills and knowledge ...... I confess I am disturbed at how much tme off work I have had directly related to what I would 'caring-related-stress' and direct or indirect symptoms and manifestations - as now, when absolute priority is mum but I am worried about letting my 'team' down let alone the kids I care for - let alone the implications personally that whilst my job remains open I am not getting paid ..... some of us simply do not sail through careers or jobs without a blip .... or several - and some organisations are clearly better at understanding that and making provision - whether that be for unpaid leave or not ....

There is perhaps an idea alongside 'Critical Illness Cover' for employees and employers a market for 'Critical Caring Cover' insurance ....?????

All that said, I'm of the age where the Sex Discrimination Act had barely kicked in the UK (in practice) and an inhibitor to the jobs I applied for in my early 20s was simply being female with the capability of becoming pregnant (you don't say!) a barrier ..... how anyone can discriminate 'in case you become a long-term carer' .......???????

Love, Karen, x


Registered User
May 22, 2007
I think I am lucky to have an understanding Manager. Take today for example when my father went wandering again at 1 p.m. and my mother rang me at work in tears. My Manager told me to go and not to worry, we'd sort things out later. My colleague even offered to come out looking for my father if I needed him ... their support and understanding is much appreciated.