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Won't get up in the morning

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Memphis Al, Jan 6, 2016.

  1. Memphis Al

    Memphis Al Registered User

    Jan 6, 2016
    1
    I just wanted to see if others have experienced this, please, and how they've dealt with it.

    My mum has Alzheimers, but it's really only short term memory loss at the moment. She has taken to getting up every morning having her breakfast, but then going back to bed because she "doesn't know if i'm coming or going". She takes Memantine for the dementia. She'll then get up about lunchtime, get dressed and be pretty much her normal self with no recollection of feeling bad in the morning. The mental health nurse put her on sertraline as she thought it could be depression or anxiety, but she took them for 10 days and was much, much worse so they took her off. Has anyone else had similar experience, please?
     
  2. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Hello, my Mum takes to her bed when the confusion is just too much for her. She has been struggling to get up up in the morning for about 4-5 years now. I never schedule anything before lunchtime for her.

    She is now in a care home. The staff now get Mum up at 10.30. They wake her at breakfast time and give her time to get herself mentally ready to get up. This seems to be working well.

    So long as she is still sleeping at night can you not let her stay in bed? If you get a routine going that works then I would stick with it. Anything that keeps your loved one happy and calm is a good thing. Maybe put soothing music on when you wake her. She can then focus on that rather than the confusion. I have found music to be a great help with Mum. Hopefully other will reply too with better suggestions.
     
  3. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,041
    It is probably not a question of wont get up but bed is the safest place to be.

    Believe you me if your brain is compromised, you are in pain, you are unable to make sense of your surroundings bed is the safest place to be for sufferer and those around them. People make the mistake of thinking, and I'm not being critical because I know it is difficult to understand, that AS is short term memory loss - because that is how it outwardly presents but it is a lot worse than that. I have no words to describe the effect of this disease on my life other than utterly devastating and distressing.

    All sufferers need peace, calm and understanding and no pressure but encouragement when appropriate to do what is necessary.

    It takes me all morning to get washed and dressed most days and I allow myself this to do otherwise would be to be putting pressure on myself and on my struggling brain.

    I hope you can manage to get into a routine which is good for both of you and helps your Mum get the rest she needs.

    Best wishes
    Sue
     
  4. AlsoConfused

    AlsoConfused Registered User

    Sep 17, 2010
    1,955
    Thanks for your contribution, Sue.

    It's virtually impossible to imagine - unless you've experienced it - what the world is like when everything's uncertain and unreliable because of a malfunctioning brain.

    All we can do is to hope the day's coming soon when there is a cure for this horrible, loathsome disease.
     
  5. piph

    piph Registered User

    Feb 4, 2013
    1,530
    Northamptonshire
    OH and I have recently moved in with Mum to take care of her. She too almost always refuses to get up in the morning. I do encourage her to get up and dressed, but am rarely successful. It's got to the stage now where I just let her stay in bed as long as she wants too, as I'm sick of fighting to get her up. It usually ends up in me getting frustrated with her constant reasons for not getting up, (which isn't good for me either!) - she's had a bad night, she just needs to 'have her sleep out', she doesn't feel well, she can't see the point, or, she just can't be bothered! So, if she wants to sleep then I let her. Twice a week I nag and nag, telling her she must get up to have a shower and eventually she will. Once she's up and showered and dressed, then she always says how much better she feels, and I've tried to tell her this, but of course she doesn't remember, and only lives 'in the moment'.
     
  6. Flashie

    Flashie Registered User

    Dec 7, 2015
    10
     
  7. lizzybean

    lizzybean Registered User

    Feb 3, 2014
    1,398
    Lancashire
    My MIL has just recently started going back to bed after the carers have been in the morning. They come for seven o'clock, give her her meds, make her her breakfast then wash up. 2 or 3 times a week now I know she has gone back to bed. I know the carers call early but up to a few months ago she was always up between 6.30 & 7.
    Wondering whether to get them to call later but at least this way she always gets a decent breakfast but if I change it she may have already have eaten & that will just mean a slice of bread & butter rather than the porridge & toast that they make her.

    Not easy this stuff is it?
     
  8. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,041
    Your post interesting lizzybean I think its good that she has breakfast and then goes back to bed to rest. I often have to get up in the night to eat something in order for my brain to work to go to sleep if that makes sense, because the sleepiness is due to a malfunctioning brain which still needs energy. I often think I would fare better too sometimes if I had breakfast like your Mum but am not able to do it for myself when very bad so just get up when I can. Of course that puts meals out of synch which I don't think helps my condition.

    Yep, this stuff aint easy:(
     
  9. Rodelinda

    Rodelinda Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    172
    Suffolk
    Hi Memphis Al: My 89yr old mum (who lives with me and has vascular dementia) gets up when she wants - which can be any time from 8am to 10.30am or even later; I get her breakfast, she usually has a wash and then often goes back to bed for a few hours. She often doesn't sleep too well at night as she has vivid dreams, so says she's exhausted when she wakes and I can see that she is. Sometimes the effort of getting up, eating breakfast and washing is too much and tires her out. The sleep she has in the morning is usually peaceful and she is then OK.

    I have learned to just go with the flow but do try to encourage her to eat and drink. It works for us. But everyone is different. Good luck
     

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