• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Won't get up in the morning

Memphis Al

Registered User
Jan 6, 2016
1
I just wanted to see if others have experienced this, please, and how they've dealt with it.

My mum has Alzheimers, but it's really only short term memory loss at the moment. She has taken to getting up every morning having her breakfast, but then going back to bed because she "doesn't know if i'm coming or going". She takes Memantine for the dementia. She'll then get up about lunchtime, get dressed and be pretty much her normal self with no recollection of feeling bad in the morning. The mental health nurse put her on sertraline as she thought it could be depression or anxiety, but she took them for 10 days and was much, much worse so they took her off. Has anyone else had similar experience, please?
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
Hello, my Mum takes to her bed when the confusion is just too much for her. She has been struggling to get up up in the morning for about 4-5 years now. I never schedule anything before lunchtime for her.

She is now in a care home. The staff now get Mum up at 10.30. They wake her at breakfast time and give her time to get herself mentally ready to get up. This seems to be working well.

So long as she is still sleeping at night can you not let her stay in bed? If you get a routine going that works then I would stick with it. Anything that keeps your loved one happy and calm is a good thing. Maybe put soothing music on when you wake her. She can then focus on that rather than the confusion. I have found music to be a great help with Mum. Hopefully other will reply too with better suggestions.
 

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
8,035
It is probably not a question of wont get up but bed is the safest place to be.

Believe you me if your brain is compromised, you are in pain, you are unable to make sense of your surroundings bed is the safest place to be for sufferer and those around them. People make the mistake of thinking, and I'm not being critical because I know it is difficult to understand, that AS is short term memory loss - because that is how it outwardly presents but it is a lot worse than that. I have no words to describe the effect of this disease on my life other than utterly devastating and distressing.

All sufferers need peace, calm and understanding and no pressure but encouragement when appropriate to do what is necessary.

It takes me all morning to get washed and dressed most days and I allow myself this to do otherwise would be to be putting pressure on myself and on my struggling brain.

I hope you can manage to get into a routine which is good for both of you and helps your Mum get the rest she needs.

Best wishes
Sue
 

AlsoConfused

Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
1,953
Thanks for your contribution, Sue.

It's virtually impossible to imagine - unless you've experienced it - what the world is like when everything's uncertain and unreliable because of a malfunctioning brain.

All we can do is to hope the day's coming soon when there is a cure for this horrible, loathsome disease.
 

Flashie

Registered User
Dec 7, 2015
10
I just wanted to see if others have experienced this, please, and how they've dealt with it.

My OH. has Alzheimers, early stages but still not finished diagnosis, I have the same problem of getting OH up in the morning, but have now let it go till she feels ready to get up, I still shake her to see if and when we will see her. OH has over the last couple of weeks started going to bed late post 2/3am.
I used to get v frustrated but find it best for both to sort of compromise.
 

lizzybean

Registered User
Feb 3, 2014
1,366
Lancashire
My MIL has just recently started going back to bed after the carers have been in the morning. They come for seven o'clock, give her her meds, make her her breakfast then wash up. 2 or 3 times a week now I know she has gone back to bed. I know the carers call early but up to a few months ago she was always up between 6.30 & 7.
Wondering whether to get them to call later but at least this way she always gets a decent breakfast but if I change it she may have already have eaten & that will just mean a slice of bread & butter rather than the porridge & toast that they make her.

Not easy this stuff is it?
 

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
8,035
Wondering whether to get them to call later but at least this way she always gets a decent breakfast but if I change it she may have already have eaten & that will just mean a slice of bread & butter rather than the porridge & toast that they make her.

Not easy this stuff is it?
Your post interesting lizzybean I think its good that she has breakfast and then goes back to bed to rest. I often have to get up in the night to eat something in order for my brain to work to go to sleep if that makes sense, because the sleepiness is due to a malfunctioning brain which still needs energy. I often think I would fare better too sometimes if I had breakfast like your Mum but am not able to do it for myself when very bad so just get up when I can. Of course that puts meals out of synch which I don't think helps my condition.

Yep, this stuff aint easy:(
 

Rodelinda

Registered User
Jun 15, 2015
172
Suffolk
Hi Memphis Al: My 89yr old mum (who lives with me and has vascular dementia) gets up when she wants - which can be any time from 8am to 10.30am or even later; I get her breakfast, she usually has a wash and then often goes back to bed for a few hours. She often doesn't sleep too well at night as she has vivid dreams, so says she's exhausted when she wakes and I can see that she is. Sometimes the effort of getting up, eating breakfast and washing is too much and tires her out. The sleep she has in the morning is usually peaceful and she is then OK.

I have learned to just go with the flow but do try to encourage her to eat and drink. It works for us. But everyone is different. Good luck