Wondering what kind of care help (overnight) is available within our local community?

Discussion in 'Memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis' started by Selbytheo, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    My 81yr old mother has been assessed & recently had an MRI scan, we awaiting the results.
    Mum becomes angry & aggressive most evenings with total confusion come bedtime.
    She doesn’t recognise her surroundings & gets aggressive when trying to reassure her.
    My father (80) looks after her everyday, with other family members who attend to her needs from tea time to bedtime; then dad looks after her through the night.
    It’s a this time that mum is at her worse, often confusing dad for past family members.
    She’s becomes quite aggressive during this period.
    We had mum over at ours recently where she let herself out of our house during the night, the police brought her back next morning.
    The GP has prescribed mum sleeping tablets to assist at night, but that seems to be hit & miss.
    My story is probably one of thousands but until it happens within your family, I don’t think others fully understand how much pressure it puts on us, who try to help when we can.
    I know it’s a progressive disease & we can see her decline week by week.
    Wondering what kind of care help (overnight) is available within our local community?
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,711
    Female
    Dundee
    Hi @Selbytheo and welcome to the forum.

    I wondered if your mum has had a needs assessment to determine what level of care she requires. I think it might be an idea to contact Social Services and explain the situation, especially as she becoming aggressive. Overnight care can be very expensive but SS might be able to tell you what is possible. Does your mum receive attendance allowance. As she needs support overnight she would be entitled to the higher level of AA.
     
  3. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    Thank you for your advice, mum had an assessment carried out at home to determine what ‘aids’ she could have fitted around the house to help her get about.
    We paid for a stair lift, bath lift & safety handrails inside & out as she is unsteady on her feet, walks with a stick.
    We’ve not looked at any financial help to see exactly what she may be entitled to.
    Mum doesn't receive any attendance allowance, dad says he w@iting to see what the outcome of the brain scan she had over 3wks ago tomorrow.
     
  4. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    Thank you for your concern, been at mums today, she just sat quietly in the garden with the rest of the family.
    Not a lot of conversation from her, tried to engage her but most of her answers were “ I don’t know”.
    Need the answers of the brain scan & see what way forward we can go.
     
  5. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    1,047
    #5 Rosettastone57, Aug 25, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2019
    The care agency my mother-in-law used provided ad hoc short term overnight carers but, it's very expensive, over £200 a night and if the carer was disturbed from their own sleep, up to £270. That's in the week only . Much more weekends. In our area,social services would not fund overnight care just too expensive. There are live in carers, but no personal experience of that. You don't need to wait for scans to apply for attendance allowance. It's clear from your post,that she would be eligible now. As for the wandering, honestly, very difficult to manage, even with overnight care. It sounds to me that 24/7 residential care is needed. I'm sure others will be along soon with better advice
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    Im afraid that there is usually very little, or no help in the community overnight.

    Social Services do not generally fund overnight care as it is too expnsive, you can get carers to sit overnight, but this would have to be self-funded an this is usually out of the question for most people - ditto a live-in carer.
    Charities and voluntary organisations do not provide any overnight care at all.

    Your mum sounds as though she has quite advanced dementia. Im sure this is not what you want to hear, but I think that a care home is what is needed. Once this compulsion to get out starts it is almost impossible to manage at home, especially if it is happening at night.
     
  7. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    Thankyou for your comments.
     
  8. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    Thankyou for sharing your experience
     
  9. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    Just an update.
    Mum received confirmation yesterday of the brain scan carried out some weeks ago.
    Unfortunately she has been diagnosed with severe vascular dementia & severe Alzheimer’s stage 3.
    She is now on medication & they’ve given us advice on help that’s available to mum.
    It’s devastating see mum in this condition, what’s next?????
     
  10. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    1,047
    If you haven't already done so,then lasting power of attorney, at least for finances ,should be a necessity. Hopefully your mum will still be able to agree. As others have said, your mum is eligible for a needs assessment and a carer's assessment for your father. You can apply for attendance allowance, which from your opening post, sounds like the upper rate would be appropriate. There's a wealth of experience on this forum, keep posting.
     
  11. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    315
    I don’t know much about it but check if you can get attendance allowance and carers allowance. Good luck I hope you get something sorted soon. X
     
  12. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    315

    If you do decide to try for Power of Attorney do check out the government @Shedrech suggested. It’s much easier quicker and a lot cheaper than a solicitor. X
     
  13. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    Thankyou for your reply.
    Mums finances were sorted out last year with myself & brother will act as POA.
    We have been informed that dad should receive the upper level of care allowance, things in motion for that.
    Certainly will keep on posting & reading all replies.
     
  14. Selbytheo

    Selbytheo New member

    Aug 24, 2019
    8
    POA was sorted in 2014 through a solicitor.
     

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