1. DoingthebestIcan

    DoingthebestIcan New member

    Nov 13, 2019
    9
    Hi, new here but not new world care, care packages or unfortunately dementia.

    Situation. Well cared for person with complexity physical disabilities.

    Also vascular dementia.

    Grabbing to point people getting hurt. Tried everything from walking away, giving something to hold ( gets thrown immediately and causes more extremely agitated shouting) , speaking calmly and distraction but nothing works and my biggest concern is someone ( care team ) getting hurt . Its powerful gripping and attempts biting now also. Unable avoid contact as needs everything literally everything done for the person.


    Any thoughts or helpful ideas?


    Second issue

    Shouting:-

    Random but extremely loud to point in summer had police called twice as people obviously were concerned what was happening. It’s usually ‘ be careful. No; stop it’ this is my house and I am the master ‘ etc etc anyway so far distraction doesn’t work, calm voice makes no difference, and it’s getting beyond manageable at some points of personal care especially washing and dressing both of which need to be done and cannot be avoided.

    Biting- several attempts now . Dreading the day it happens for real. Any helpful ideas?

    Accusations are variable- picking the lock and climbing through letterbox is common at the moment.

    I know what I am doing and you dont need to help me ( unfortunately needs everything as full 24 hour care )

    I will see you in court and my solicitor is dealing with you. One person was told they were being taken to an industrial tribunal recently.

    Background has no experience of any such things and its all very random, aggressive, unpleasant and loudly shouted.

    The immediate neighbours are supportive and as best they can be understanding.


    We advise people when they visit not to try and shake hands as this will lead to inappropriate situations of grabbing, hurting to point someone almost had thumb twisted off and we couldn’t distract enough to relaease grip !

    As anybody in UK will see I am typing this at 04.00 unable sleeping because so concerned now.

    All health care services involved and awareness of every change as are care agency etc .


    Thanks if anybody has any ideas but nothing about engaging the person to be involved in care as severe physical disabilities mean that isn’t ever even vaguely possible. Person cant do anything for themselves or they would be doing it!

    Thanks in anticipation of some great contact. I am exhausted and upset because we have tried everything and nothing literally nothing has worked. Thanks
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,894
    Kent
    Hello @DoingthebestIcan

    If the person you are caring for is so aggressive and resisting help while being so dependent, they are seriously at risk.

    Even if all disciplines of health care are aware of this and involved, perhaps as long as you are available, they are able to shirk their responsibilities to a very vulnerable adult.

    Perhaps you could inform all services you intend to make yourself less available because this situation is detrimental to your own health. Perhaps then someone will accept responsibility for their duty of care.
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,809
    Female
    South coast
    Is he on any medication to calm him down?
    I know that it is best if behaviour is managed by environment, but sometimes it just doesnt work and medication can make them more manageable. If he is on medication perhaps it needs tweaking.

    Has the time come for a nursing home?
     
  4. DoingthebestIcan

    DoingthebestIcan New member

    Nov 13, 2019
    9
    Thanks. Medication has issues- reactions with essential medication for other conditions being main one which would be unfortunately dangerous. And your question..I agree..time for change is brewing or in my opinion brewed ! Thanks for your reply.
     
  5. DoingthebestIcan

    DoingthebestIcan New member

    Nov 13, 2019
    9
    Thanks. I am not very much available & definitely have done that re own health as yes is true anyway.

    They have done everything possible and do accept responsibility but deterioration has been so marked it needs another push re action and quickly. My bigger concern is anybody involved being injured. Sounds awful but the person cant move around and so theres no risk re falling etc etc but it has massive implications if staff are injured. Thanks for your reply.
     
  6. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    797
    Female
    cornwall
    In some homes there is a technique called”restrictive practices “but not sure if this is available in people’s homes.
    It can only be applied after a best interest meeting and if all medication has been reviewed.It usually involves 3 carers .But it is a last resort and like I said may not be do able in your case. It will be called “Mapa “ or Maybo”..All carers would be trained in this
     
  7. DoingthebestIcan

    DoingthebestIcan New member

    Nov 13, 2019
    9
    Thanks for this message. Appreciate very much. Will gently ( maybe more than gently!!) look at this one ! Interesting comments and as saying very much appreciated. C
     

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