Wonderful News At Last

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by TinaT, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    I was filled with dread today at the thought of the morning review of Ken by his consultant. Such meetings have always left me in the depths of despair because his behaviour was so problematic and difficult to control and the only place where he could have staff with the ability to control him was on the ward at the hospital. I went with Ken's brother and my son for support to the meeting

    This time I let the consultant do all the talking as I had nothing more that I could have said. She knew how desperately I had been pushing to get Ken into a more suitable environment. She said that Ken had stabalised out these last few months. Also that the ward was a dangerous place for him in view of the new people who have arrived and who are violent and volatile (he was hit only last week). He just hasn't the social skills to be able to cope and is vulnerable on the ward. She thought that it would now be possible to let him go to the home which I originally begged her to send him to!!! She also said that her decision had been swayed by the amount of help and input I had made over the months with Ken to stabalise him.

    I was absolutely THRILLED!!! I did mention the new home in our area which is being built and that I had made enquiries about it but I would rather Ken went to the first home, my original choice. It is well established, so will not have the teething troubles the new one might have and has only 20 beds rather than the 32 in the new home, and it has a very nice, family feeling to it. We left the hospital with Ken and went immediately to visit the home as son and BIL might not have the opportunity to see it again before Ken moves there. They both live a distance away and son had taken the day off work to be with me. So we arrived, quite unannounced at about 11.30 am. It has a warm and friendly atmosphere with residents treated very pleasantly and the staff remembered Ken from the few days he spent there last year when our daughter in law died and he was in respite care. They all remembered his name and fussed him a little! It is furnished and decorated well. Above all, it smelled and looked clean and fresh!! The residents who we chatted to were very clean, relaxed and comfortable. I had eaten a meal there with Ken last year and know that the food is well prepared and well served in a pretty dining room with plenty of natural light. I nearly cried when I saw the lovely single bedrooms; we visited at least three and they were all very clean and had lots of personal articles to make them a place wheere residents would feel it was their own special space. Bathrooms and toilets were spotless!!

    It may take some time for him to get a bed and will not be happening very quickly I don't suppose. But with news such as this I feel on top of the world!

    Of course, he still will have a terrible time settling in and his stress levels may bring on his delusions again but the consultant said that she was prepared to take the risk at this point in his care. She also said that if it did not work out then they would of course have him back on the ward. God Forbid!! The staff on the ward do their very best for the patients but it is a sterile, unloving hospital ward with no pretence of being anything like a comfortable home.

    If I have to be at his new care home 10 hours a day for the first few months until he feels settled, then I will. I will move heaven and earth to make him happy there!!

    The bedrooms are lovely and I will be able to personalise his room and put a tv and radio in (moastly for when I am there with him rather than for Ken - he never watches tv or listens to the radio)

    Wonderful, Wonderful news which I am so very happy to share with all the many, lovely people who have offered me support over the last several bleak and terrifying months.xxx Tina
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Tina, what brilliant news!

    You've worked so hard for this conclusion. Ken is so lucky to have you, and I'm glad your efforts have been appreciated by the staff.

    The home sounds lovely, and I'm sure you'll be able to settle him in. It'll be so much nicer for you spending time in his own room

    Wonderful news indeed! Thank you so much for sharing it.

    Love to you and Ken,
  3. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006

    What wonderful news. I hope you feel able to hang on until there is a vacancy as you seem so happy with your choice and in the long term it is important that you have no worries over the care Ken is getting.

  4. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Tina, so thrilled with your news. How wonderful for you and Ken.

    So glad that the consultant said -
    You have done your utmost to help stabiliase Ken's condition.
    Yes, you are right to be aware that a move may unsettle him in the first instance, but with your love and care, and a good care home I am sure things will settle.

    Thinking of you both, and fingers crossed that you will not have to wait too long.
    Love, as always,
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Tina this is such wonderful news. I'm glad to see the consultant is more amenable - I know how she seemed very difficult about this whole thing.

  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    I am so pleased for you , I know how good it feel when thing finally fall into place the way you want them to xx
  7. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Thank you - all of you - for being with me through this most difficult journey. I hope that you will still be around in the future as I'm sure I will need your support. It is not going to be easy to settle him in. xxTinaT
  8. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    Fantastic news- so happy for you!
  9. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Well done Tina.
    You must be one happy lady.
    best wishes to you and Ken
  10. BettyL

    BettyL Registered User

    Jan 20, 2008
    Such happy news Tina - how fantastic!

    I was told mum would have a bit of a wait for the home of my choice - but four days later - yipee, the phone call came - a bed was available.

    So - good things do sometimes happen amid the trauma of this awful disease. I've got everything crossed for you!!!

  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Tina.
    You desrerve every ounce of your happiness and I know everyone is sharing it with you. You have worked so hard for this and it is a well deserved outcome.
    I look forward to all your updates.
    Love xx
  12. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Fantastic news! All your hard work and love has paid off. Yes, Ken will need to settle in a bit but with your positive attitude and love and attention, he'll be just fine.
  13. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    I am so please for you Tina, and I know you will do your best for Ken to help him settle in - as I am sure he will.

    Good luck, and keep us posted.

  14. Westie

    Westie Registered User

    Tina, that really is fantastic news. Your relief is so clear - it is written in every word you have posted.

    The home sounds ideal and I hope it doesn't take too long for Ken to be transferred there. In such lovely surroundings and with you by his side supporting him he will settle.

  15. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    TinaT - this is wonderful news indeed and thank you so much for sharing it .........

    For anyone else who feels like me at the stage I am at with mum - desperate at times that someone can allay my fears for the future (and sometimes frightened that all the worst possible things will happen, of course) - never mind coping with the here and now - your post gives so much hope that with (perhaps some element of) luck - but especially perseverance - we really can secure some kind of positive future - even if it is not the future we would have hoped for, of course ......

    I am so thrilled for you both. Very well done ..... Thank you for the inspiration.

    Love, Karen, x
  16. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Thank you everyone for all your support and kindness, it does mean such a lot. We don't get much recognition for what we (mostly) willingly do, so your posts have been extra special encouragement to me. It is a long, hard and lonely road each of us are treading painfully step by step and the loneliness is certainly sent packing when I come on TP. Thank you all. xx TinaT
  17. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Sorry Tina I read it wrong :eek: I thought you said it was your home you begged them to send him to:rolleyes:

    At lest your being realistic , something that I also have to be also .

    Still pleaded that its the Care home you want him to go to .
  18. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    Wishing you well

    Hi Tina!
    I'm delighted for you that, after all your efforts, this outcome has finally happened! Well done! May it be the beginning of a new and better time for you and Ken and all who love him.

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