Saw my mum on Friday: OK. Away Saturday Saw my mum on Sunday: Not OK. Very sleepy and has a chest infection. Ask the carers to keep an eye out for her overnight and please consider calling the doc on Monday. Nurse One agrees. Monday: Mum even sleepier. Can barely rouse her. Chest full of phlegm by the sounds of things. Anyone called the GP? No, Nurse One asked Nurse Two to think about it. Nurse Two didn't think it necessary. " She seems OK when she is up" ( Translation: "When she is up, we are so stretched that we barely notice the individual needs of our clients" I came in only last week and found her sitting in her chair, in her nightdress, looking absolutely awful, uncomfortable, bent forward and with no particular care being directed at her.) I'm beginning to wobble. The bumper is missing from the bed again. My mum's legs caught under the bedside a few weeks ago and she had some ugly bruises around her calf and ankles as a result. I've asked them to ensure the bumpers are always in place and was told this would happen and also that they would seek out longer bumpers as my mum is quite tall and the standard bumpers are a bit short. Long bumpers have not yet appeared.. I put the missing (short) bumper back myself. Mum's dress is all screwed up in a ball on the end of the bed. It's been a cold day down here, I had to put the heating on at home but the dress they had dressed my mum in was her thinnest summer one. The bedside lights in her room don't work. This is all about par for the course. There are always minor, irritating things that bug me going on, but tonight the fact that they don't seem to think she is ill when she is clearly drowsy and has a chest infection is winding me up something chronic. Consider for one frantic, wild-eyed moment, kidnapping her and and bringing her home, then remember house is frozen, I have no suitable equipment and no care in place and the room downstairs which she would have to inhabit has a mouse in it, newly discovered last night. They will check her vital signs and think again tomorrow. I go home before they have done the checks as I am tired and feeling waspish. Sit in Sainsbury's car park and cry. Ring the home. BP OK, temperature normal but feels a bit hot. Nurse Three agrees that my mum has a chest infection. They know I am bothered with them now and promise to keep me posted tomorrow. Feel like an over-anxious mother. I was offered 'pre-bereavement' counselling a couple of weeks ago and have not taken up the offer. ( "We've never done it before, you would be our first client. Yes, we are volunteers.") Feel a bit mean to turn them down but not really confident that they would help me. They would aim to 'help me come to terms with the fact that my mum is going to die'. Do I want to discuss my mum's forthcoming demise week after week? I don't think I do.