Wits end

[Phoebe68]

Oh Lord I so need to get this out there and find a resolution to this growing hell. My husband who is 47 is no longer someone I know and some days don't even like because he is making our family life hell. Some days he's alright but not the old man I once knew. His memory has never been the best and a few years did go to talk to his GP who said it was stress and refd him for stress management, which he never followed up. Over the years he has lied about alcohol consumption and has on occasions been caught smuggling it into the house or hiding it in the car! I am a stay at home mum and my husband therefore is the sole breadwinner and is under stress to make ends meet but refuses to discuss or sit down and work out a plan for me to go back to work and share the child care instead clams up and stares like a rabbit in headlights , making matters worse. Over the years our relationship has become unbearable and I do think we would be better apart but I fear for my children in his company without me. Approx three years ago there was an incident where he was in an extremely stressful situ which led to him drinking copious amounts of alcohol, forgetting about our family and ultimately putting us in danger resulting in hitting me because I was angry at his behaviour. He was not in anyway remorseful for his actions the following days to come and in fact told me very hurtful stories which he later admitted to telling me to simply hurt me. Shortly after this incident he was involved in a car accident which apparently wasn't his fault, but there are days I wonder. It is since this that things have really got worse. We have the same conversation times over, he often slurs his words, he stares like a rabbit in headlights when challenged, often he answers a question with a totally unrelated topic , his behaviour is often seen by others as he's drunk, he blames all this on tiredness but does nothing about getting to bed early in fact often doesn't go to bed because he can't sleep. When standing he sways and appears unbalanced but he himself can't see this, his eyes become squint. I feel like I am picking on everything he does but just want him to realise he needs help for our families sake but my concern is met with aggression. I apologise for my rant but I can't share this with family, I do want a resolution and hope someone can play devils advocate for me. I am thinking about speaking to his GP but fearful that because he's in denial with everything that the GP will dismiss and I'll be a unbalanced wife. Do you think I am justified in my fears ?. TIA

 

[Izzy]

Hello and welcome to TP. I'm so sorry to read your post. Your situation sounds awful.

I don't feel qualified to advise but wondered if you would consider phoning the National Dementia Helpline in the morning. You will find someone there to listen and advise. You can find the number here -
http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200365

0300 222 1122