1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Wish husband would stop asking me same thing everyday

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Reds, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    539
    Hertfordshire
    Hi all

    I am fed up with my husband mentioning about seeing my sisters everyday. I do like to see them time to time but usually by their terms and so I have to get on with my life. I feel very agitated when he asks when we are going to see them when I have already done my best in asking them on his behalf!

    I have asked him not to mention them everyday but he seems to think its funny. I have tried to ignore it but still hard. He even asked in bed late last night. I know he has Alzheimer's but he still does know!

    Reds
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    So know how you feel, today we are in a little bit of a loop here. I'm looking after a friend's dog for the weekend, its a gorgeous day and my dog, mum's dog and visiting dog just want to be outside in the garden. Mum keeps asking me why are the dogs in the garden and she is so worried about the visiting dog, its a corgi, she thinks it belongs to the queen and so it should not be outside! Funny at 9am this morning, but not any more.
     
  3. It's so difficult. It may be worth experimenting with different answers to see which one gives him the most peace of mind. Then stick to it. Just doing that may reduce the frequency of the repeated question.

    Daze
     
  4. Fortune Fortune

    Fortune Fortune Registered User

    Mar 19, 2015
    2
    Carer

    As a carer and I've worked with people with Alzheiemers for ten years now . May best advice to you is not to dismiss what his saying and answer him in a different way so that he can understand you . Is important to understand that if you keep shouting and saying well we've just been there it will just agitate him . See you need to understand that he serious and doesn't thing is funny . Next time he ask which a time you will feel like you are misleading him is by saying for example she's gone away somewhere he is familiar with where they use to go for example : she's gone on a short break to Hasting and she will give as a call once there. He will keep asking you because you fail to give him satisfactory answer always say well see they have visitors around and mention people that he knows and might says well we ought not to disturb them as they don't see those people so often . I'll advice you not to be angry with him because honestly he is not doing it deliberately and is rather difficult to you as he must ask you a million times in one minute but try and shout or say you just ask that and I told you . i'm not sure what Level of Alzheimer's he is on because a times you would think he understoond you and then ask again even when you are coming from your sisters. When he ask in bed just say well they have visitors or they are away and give us a call tomorrow . You can say well we ought to ask them what their schedule as they are going to see gran children a a long family member he knows.

    Hope that will help God bless .
     
  5. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,539
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    My Mum with Moderate AD has a thing about peoples ages, sometimes getting them right but more often than not wrong.
    She is fixated on how old Dad is. He is 77.
    She asks several times a day, and Dad gets fed up with it (bodering on angry) because once she knows hes 77 she laughs because she realises he is nearly 80.

    I swear though that she asks sometimes just to get a laugh, as she asks in a very knowing way, and not in a confused way.

    Doesn't help though when Dad answers with a different age other than what he is.
    He tries to make out that he is younger than Mum.
     

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