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William is very unwell again.

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LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,643
Ireland
I've come to the conclusion that even though we know it's inevitable - we don't really believe it's going to happen. We watch their dementia kill them inch by inch over the years. We know it's happening, we see them get infection after infection, we see each bit of deterioration, we see them getting weaker and weaker. We know they have a terminal illness. Yet, somehow, I think, we don't really believe in our hearts that it will really happen.

I've been watching William yesterday and today - I know he is dying. I hope it will be soon, for his sake. It's breaking my heart and I can't stop crying. And yet. And yet. In my heart - I think I don't believe it's going to happen. Surely, surely, it could not be that William would not be here? Not when he's been here now for so long?

I've been doing the laundry. Why? Why am I washing his clothes, that he will never wear again? When there is so much else to do. I have to get something decent to wear for the funeral. Have to think about readings.

I think first though, I have to sit down and try and relax with a dvd or something.

Goodnight all.
 

Essie

Registered User
Feb 11, 2015
563
Thinking of you, and William, LadyA and sending you peace and hugs... I wish I could add something actually useful but all I can say my thoughts are with you through this night and onwards, the pain is all ours when they are freed from their suffering... Do try and get a little rest tonight if you can.
 
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jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
Your life is a turmoil at the moment Lady A. I remember it all seeming so unreal as my darling Roger passed away. I only had his last couple of minutes with him, because the hospital were working to keep him breathing, but he knew I was with him.

I found it helped me to just go with the flow. If I wanted to watch a dvd I did, although I did find it hard to concentrate on anything for too long.

Everything for the funeral will fall into place, and you will I'm sure make it a fitting tribute to William.

Sorry I am rambling on about me, when I should be focussing on you.

Wishing you both a peaceful night. Love Jan x
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
Oh sweetie. My heart goes out to you. It is so hard to believe that this will be the final goodbye. Will be with you you every step of the way and just wish I could give you some comfort. With love. Verityxx
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,079
Devon
Such a hard time LadyA. It's good to be able to keep busy with some mundane tasks. Wishing you both peace and grace.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
I've come to the conclusion that even though we know it's inevitable - we don't really believe it's going to happen. We watch their dementia kill them inch by inch over the years. We know it's happening, we see them get infection after infection, we see each bit of deterioration, we see them getting weaker and weaker. We know they have a terminal illness. Yet, somehow, I think, we don't really believe in our hearts that it will really happen.

I've been watching William yesterday and today - I know he is dying. I hope it will be soon, for his sake. It's breaking my heart and I can't stop crying. And yet. And yet. In my heart - I think I don't believe it's going to happen. Surely, surely, it could not be that William would not be here? Not when he's been here now for so long?

I've been doing the laundry. Why? Why am I washing his clothes, that he will never wear again? When there is so much else to do. I have to get something decent to wear for the funeral. Have to think about readings.

I think first though, I have to sit down and try and relax with a dvd or something.

Goodnight all.
You dear, sweet soul. It's a strange time you're facing. Why do we do any of these things, like washing clothes and the like? Because we've always done it whilst married and it's become a habit we once groused about, and now don't want to stop, as it reminds us of the life we signed up for. Companionship. Marriage. Family. When that changes, we can't always be expected to change so quickly. We cannot keep time with Time.

Do whatever gives you comfort, even if it's a darn good cry, LadyA. And remember we are here with you. If only I could offer more than a few black squiggles on an Internet page :( My love to you, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,791
Hertfordshire
I've come to the conclusion that even though we know it's inevitable - we don't really believe it's going to happen. We watch their dementia kill them inch by inch over the years. We know it's happening, we see them get infection after infection, we see each bit of deterioration, we see them getting weaker and weaker. We know they have a terminal illness. Yet, somehow, I think, we don't really believe in our hearts that it will really happen.

I've been watching William yesterday and today - I know he is dying. I hope it will be soon, for his sake. It's breaking my heart and I can't stop crying. And yet. And yet. In my heart - I think I don't believe it's going to happen. Surely, surely, it could not be that William would not be here? Not when he's been here now for so long?

I've been doing the laundry. Why? Why am I washing his clothes, that he will never wear again? When there is so much else to do. I have to get something decent to wear for the funeral. Have to think about readings.

I think first though, I have to sit down and try and relax with a dvd or something.

Goodnight all.
I do not often come on now but have read all of your thread, You have put your feelings here so wonderfully. It has actually helped me as that is how I felt too when Gordon was dying.

You are in my prayers Lady A. sending love too Jeannette
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Just caught up, Lady A. So sorry that William is so unwell....I can understand doing the laundry and so on, as Chuggalug says, it's part of what we signed up for.

Wishing you and William peace and strength.

Lindy xx
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
Morning LadyA , wish I could say something to help. Deep down we all know what will happen to our loved ones , we just carry on and put it to the back of our minds . We are all here, wrapping our arms round you and holding your hand . Thinking of you both xxxxxx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
 
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