1. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,191
    Toronto, Canada
    I'm so sorry to hear your news, LadyA but grateful for your and Williams's sake that his passing was peaceful. My condolences to you and your family.
     
  2. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I was very puzzled reading some of your posts - Bank Holiday? - until I remembered you are in Ireland. :) Although the funeral is very quick, it does focus your mind on What Needs To Be Done, and you will be running on autopilot anyway.

    The music and poem are beautiful, and so fitting. What a super neighbour to think of your needs - and you do need to eat, even if you don't feel hungry. I don't know if your DWP works the same as ours in the UK, but all my additional pension was backdated to the date of John's death.

    If there's any help I can give you regarding this, or anything else, please do not hesitate to PM me. :) You are amazingly organised, and William will be so proud of his Best Girl. xxx
     
  3. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    534
    Scotland
    Like the others, I am thinking you are really well organised, Lady A. I love the hymns you have chosen - hymns of triumph. Really wonderful to have such a good neighbour - so heartening when others rally round. xx
     
  4. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    Actually, Scarlett, for here, the funeral is regarded as quite delayed! Usually, if a person dies before noon today, they would be buried tomorrow or the following day at the latest.
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    #105 LadyA, Aug 4, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2015
    Dau drove me hither and yon today. We got a photo done to display on the coffin at the service - William at his desk, surrounded by books. And she photocopied the hymns onto single sheets. Also arranged to have tea and sandwiches served at the church she and I attend after the funeral. First sympathy card arrived today.

    I tell you what's sad though. The number of people who have asked us if it would be alright if they attended the service - because of the church it's in, people aren't sure they'd be "allowed " to attend.
     
  6. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    How marvellous to have her with you.
     
  7. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    What church is it LadyA, I thought there was much more cross-over between religions nowadays and anyway for services like funerals or weddings for that matter. the question doesn't normally arise.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  8. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    That's really interesting. My mother was Jewish, and I know in that religion the funerals are usually the following day. I remember one of her cousins died, and when another cousin heard the news (this was in The Olden Days, before Twitter, Facebook, texts and emails ;)), the only way he could get to the funeral in time, was rushing from his dress rehearsal in London. It was Hello Dolly, and he was an American Dandy in the 1890s!

    But nobody cared, the main thing was that he was there. It's been a privilege to know you through TP LadyA, and to share in your life, and your unstinting efforts to get the very best for your William. I'm sure you will have everything in place for Saturday xxx
     
  9. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    We are getting there as regards the funeral.

    Dau photocopied all the hymns. I got the photograph and put it in a frame. The funeral director asked if I wanted anything particular put on William in the coffin - particular clothes or a habit. Or, she said, they could leave him as he came to them, and not disturb him at all, as he isn't being embalmed and the coffin will be closed. So even though he is in pyjamas, that's what I opted for. I just didn't feel I wanted him disturbed. He looked so peaceful and at rest, when I saw him in his bed at the nursing home - it would be a shame to pull him about, undressing and re-dressing him. I'd rather leave him in peace. :( And no-one will know anyway.

    We have also decided to just serve tea & sandwiches at the church dau & I attend after the funeral.
     
  10. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    Xx you're doing so well Lady A
     
  11. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    I am happy you have people to help LadyA. It must be a great comfort to have your dau there.
    Glad that William looked peaceful and as you say, better to leave him as he is.
    It's so important to get all the details right around a funeral and that's just what you're doing. I'm sure it will be a comfort to you through difficult days.
    Wishing you a paceful and restful night.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  12. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    Bless you Lady A
    "Lean on me when you're not strong, And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on. For it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on."
    This is one of my favourite songs
    I am so sorry to hear about William, your posts have always come across wth much love and compassion
    Much support and prayers
    Sarah
     
  13. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,282
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Good morning LadyA, lovely to have such kind family and friends around you . The church and service sounds wonderful and William would be so proud of you . Keeping you both in my thoughts and heart xxxxxxxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  14. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Hope you managed some sleep last night, LadyA.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  15. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    I slept pretty well last night, thankfully. And have realised that I will manage until the widow's pension comes through, because the nursing home fees are paid a month in advance. And as William died at the beginning of August, I will only owe for the first couple of days, and medical care, rather than the full month. But I put the money away each week - so I have that money. The final bill should be only around 100 euro, whereas the normal bill would be over 1,000euro. That will tide me over.
     
  16. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Morning, LadyA. Wow, but you've been busy. I'm so glad you're getting the help you need, and that you won't be deprived financially.

    We'll all be thinking of you, especially on Saturday. Do be careful to care for yourself at this important time.

    Much love, xxxxxxxx
     
  17. chris53

    chris53 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2009
    2,929
    London
    Lady A, so sorry to hear of Williams passing, you have written so much about him in a very upbeat way, it has,I am sure brought many a smile to our faces, so pleased you have support from so many friends and family, and of course here on TP, thoughts will be with you on Saturday for Willams final journey, take care of yourself and cherish all the good memories you have.
    Chris x
     
  18. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,598
    West Midlands
    I do hope you are financially secure until your monies come through xx

    In my mums place, doesn't matter what part of the month she dies, Mum still has to pay in full, and mum pays in advance.....

    I did question this, asking if I could give a months notice at the beginning of the month, incase she died during that month, and if she was still around at their pay day, could she stay on..... all I got was shocked looks, no idea why....

    This sounds awful, but that's me, I hope when it's mums time, it's near the end of the month....




    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  19. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Would love to have seen their faces 2Jays, it does sound like a mean policy.
    Reminds me of when my friend's son was terminally ill. He'd moved into a new flat but was hardly there as he was in hospital most of the time before he died. There was still four months to run of the initial 6 month contract and the letting agency insisted his sister, who was his guarantor, pay the full rent for that time. All heart.

    Glad that things have eased financially for you LadyA, you certainly don't need that worry on top of everything else. Good that you are managing to get some rest.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  20. Maymab

    Maymab Registered User

    Oct 8, 2013
    214
    Staffs
    Only just seen your post, Lady A. I am so sorry to hear the sad news about William. I have been reading your thread for ever and have gained so much help and comfort from it as many of the problems with my husband have been similar to those you have posted about William. So many thanks to you. Thinking of you in your time of sorrow.

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Talking Point mobile app
     

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