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William has gone

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
I was very puzzled reading some of your posts - Bank Holiday? - until I remembered you are in Ireland. :) Although the funeral is very quick, it does focus your mind on What Needs To Be Done, and you will be running on autopilot anyway.

The music and poem are beautiful, and so fitting. What a super neighbour to think of your needs - and you do need to eat, even if you don't feel hungry. I don't know if your DWP works the same as ours in the UK, but all my additional pension was backdated to the date of John's death.

If there's any help I can give you regarding this, or anything else, please do not hesitate to PM me. :) You are amazingly organised, and William will be so proud of his Best Girl. xxx
 

Lilac Blossom

Registered User
Oct 6, 2014
564
Scotland
Like the others, I am thinking you are really well organised, Lady A. I love the hymns you have chosen - hymns of triumph. Really wonderful to have such a good neighbour - so heartening when others rally round. xx
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,630
Ireland
Actually, Scarlett, for here, the funeral is regarded as quite delayed! Usually, if a person dies before noon today, they would be buried tomorrow or the following day at the latest.
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,630
Ireland
Dau drove me hither and yon today. We got a photo done to display on the coffin at the service - William at his desk, surrounded by books. And she photocopied the hymns onto single sheets. Also arranged to have tea and sandwiches served at the church she and I attend after the funeral. First sympathy card arrived today.

I tell you what's sad though. The number of people who have asked us if it would be alright if they attended the service - because of the church it's in, people aren't sure they'd be "allowed " to attend.
 
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Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
Pontypool
Dau drove me hither and yon today. We got a photo done to display on the coffin at the service - William at his desk, surrounded by books. And she photocopied the hymns onto single sheets. Also arranged to have tea and sandwiches served at the church she and I attend after the funeral. First sympathy card arrived today.

I tell you what's sad though. The number of people who have asked us if it would be alright if they attended the service - because of the church it's in, people aren't sure they'd be "allowed " to attend.
What church is it LadyA, I thought there was much more cross-over between religions nowadays and anyway for services like funerals or weddings for that matter. the question doesn't normally arise.


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Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Actually, Scarlett, for here, the funeral is regarded as quite delayed! Usually, if a person dies before noon today, they would be buried tomorrow or the following day at the latest.
That's really interesting. My mother was Jewish, and I know in that religion the funerals are usually the following day. I remember one of her cousins died, and when another cousin heard the news (this was in The Olden Days, before Twitter, Facebook, texts and emails ;)), the only way he could get to the funeral in time, was rushing from his dress rehearsal in London. It was Hello Dolly, and he was an American Dandy in the 1890s!

But nobody cared, the main thing was that he was there. It's been a privilege to know you through TP LadyA, and to share in your life, and your unstinting efforts to get the very best for your William. I'm sure you will have everything in place for Saturday xxx
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,630
Ireland
We are getting there as regards the funeral.

Dau photocopied all the hymns. I got the photograph and put it in a frame. The funeral director asked if I wanted anything particular put on William in the coffin - particular clothes or a habit. Or, she said, they could leave him as he came to them, and not disturb him at all, as he isn't being embalmed and the coffin will be closed. So even though he is in pyjamas, that's what I opted for. I just didn't feel I wanted him disturbed. He looked so peaceful and at rest, when I saw him in his bed at the nursing home - it would be a shame to pull him about, undressing and re-dressing him. I'd rather leave him in peace. :( And no-one will know anyway.

We have also decided to just serve tea & sandwiches at the church dau & I attend after the funeral.
 

esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,079
Devon
I am happy you have people to help LadyA. It must be a great comfort to have your dau there.
Glad that William looked peaceful and as you say, better to leave him as he is.
It's so important to get all the details right around a funeral and that's just what you're doing. I'm sure it will be a comfort to you through difficult days.
Wishing you a paceful and restful night.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

creativesarah

Registered User
Apr 22, 2010
9,615
East Hunsbury Northamptonshire
Bless you Lady A
"Lean on me when you're not strong, And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on. For it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on."
This is one of my favourite songs
I am so sorry to hear about William, your posts have always come across wth much love and compassion
Much support and prayers
Sarah
 

chick1962

Registered User
Apr 3, 2014
11,282
near Folkestone
Good morning LadyA, lovely to have such kind family and friends around you . The church and service sounds wonderful and William would be so proud of you . Keeping you both in my thoughts and heart xxxxxxxxxx


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LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,630
Ireland
I slept pretty well last night, thankfully. And have realised that I will manage until the widow's pension comes through, because the nursing home fees are paid a month in advance. And as William died at the beginning of August, I will only owe for the first couple of days, and medical care, rather than the full month. But I put the money away each week - so I have that money. The final bill should be only around 100 euro, whereas the normal bill would be over 1,000euro. That will tide me over.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Morning, LadyA. Wow, but you've been busy. I'm so glad you're getting the help you need, and that you won't be deprived financially.

We'll all be thinking of you, especially on Saturday. Do be careful to care for yourself at this important time.

Much love, xxxxxxxx
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,929
London
Lady A, so sorry to hear of Williams passing, you have written so much about him in a very upbeat way, it has,I am sure brought many a smile to our faces, so pleased you have support from so many friends and family, and of course here on TP, thoughts will be with you on Saturday for Willams final journey, take care of yourself and cherish all the good memories you have.
Chris x
 

2jays

Registered User
Jun 4, 2010
11,598
West Midlands
as William died at the beginning of August, I will only owe for the first couple of days, and medical care, rather than the full month. But I put the money away each week - so I have that money. The final bill should be only around 100 euro, whereas the normal bill would be over 1,000euro. That will tide me over.
I do hope you are financially secure until your monies come through xx

In my mums place, doesn't matter what part of the month she dies, Mum still has to pay in full, and mum pays in advance.....

I did question this, asking if I could give a months notice at the beginning of the month, incase she died during that month, and if she was still around at their pay day, could she stay on..... all I got was shocked looks, no idea why....

This sounds awful, but that's me, I hope when it's mums time, it's near the end of the month....




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esmeralda

Registered User
Nov 27, 2014
3,079
Devon
Would love to have seen their faces 2Jays, it does sound like a mean policy.
Reminds me of when my friend's son was terminally ill. He'd moved into a new flat but was hardly there as he was in hospital most of the time before he died. There was still four months to run of the initial 6 month contract and the letting agency insisted his sister, who was his guarantor, pay the full rent for that time. All heart.

Glad that things have eased financially for you LadyA, you certainly don't need that worry on top of everything else. Good that you are managing to get some rest.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

Maymab

Registered User
Oct 8, 2013
214
Staffs
Only just seen your post, Lady A. I am so sorry to hear the sad news about William. I have been reading your thread for ever and have gained so much help and comfort from it as many of the problems with my husband have been similar to those you have posted about William. So many thanks to you. Thinking of you in your time of sorrow.

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