Hello, Hoping people can help with this...... Sorry it's so long and rambling....
My Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2007 aged 69 ( but it probably started around when my father died in 2004) I moved her down from Scotland and into a Care Home near to me in 2009. In Nov 2013 she spent two weeks in hospital after a possible seizure/mini-stroke and returned to the CH unable to walk and confined to a wheelchair. In 2014 in April and August she went through a few weeks of not eating and barely drinking. I thought this was her expressing that she'd enough and wanted to die. I was told it was possible she might rally round and amazingly she did. I've since read about how people want to please their care-givers and dutifully accept being spoon-fed - my darling mother has always been a people-pleaser and loves food! For the past 16months, Mum has been bed-ridden and has become increasingly closed down and now barely utters words. She has a very miserable look and I haven't had a smile for weeks. I can't believe that she hasn't had enough. Her teeth have begun to fall out because her gums are like sponges. I have repeatedly given her permission to die by assuring her that I'm all grown up now and that I'll be fine. Also that she's had a long and busy life but that now it's fine for her to go to rest and to join my father. The GP has suggested that I move her to an actual Nursing Home but I've visited one and read several inspection reports on local ones and they all seem to have the same issues and mostly the nurses end up doing paperwork whilst carers attend to residents.
Nearly all the staff where she is have known her since she arrived and would act like she worked there. They are extremely fond of her and treat her gently and lovingly. I really dont' want to move her. On my worst days, I'm ashamed to admit that I consider moving her because apparently sometimes the trauma of the move can be the final straw and I just want her to be out of this endless limbo. It feels unbearable. I often worry that she's in chronic pain (form cancer or something else invisible) but she can't communicate it.
So this is what I'm wondering - Is it possible for a mind that is so far gone to decide to give up and die? Thanks if you've actually read to the end!
My Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2007 aged 69 ( but it probably started around when my father died in 2004) I moved her down from Scotland and into a Care Home near to me in 2009. In Nov 2013 she spent two weeks in hospital after a possible seizure/mini-stroke and returned to the CH unable to walk and confined to a wheelchair. In 2014 in April and August she went through a few weeks of not eating and barely drinking. I thought this was her expressing that she'd enough and wanted to die. I was told it was possible she might rally round and amazingly she did. I've since read about how people want to please their care-givers and dutifully accept being spoon-fed - my darling mother has always been a people-pleaser and loves food! For the past 16months, Mum has been bed-ridden and has become increasingly closed down and now barely utters words. She has a very miserable look and I haven't had a smile for weeks. I can't believe that she hasn't had enough. Her teeth have begun to fall out because her gums are like sponges. I have repeatedly given her permission to die by assuring her that I'm all grown up now and that I'll be fine. Also that she's had a long and busy life but that now it's fine for her to go to rest and to join my father. The GP has suggested that I move her to an actual Nursing Home but I've visited one and read several inspection reports on local ones and they all seem to have the same issues and mostly the nurses end up doing paperwork whilst carers attend to residents.
Nearly all the staff where she is have known her since she arrived and would act like she worked there. They are extremely fond of her and treat her gently and lovingly. I really dont' want to move her. On my worst days, I'm ashamed to admit that I consider moving her because apparently sometimes the trauma of the move can be the final straw and I just want her to be out of this endless limbo. It feels unbearable. I often worry that she's in chronic pain (form cancer or something else invisible) but she can't communicate it.
So this is what I'm wondering - Is it possible for a mind that is so far gone to decide to give up and die? Thanks if you've actually read to the end!