My mother-in-law has Alzheimers - a fact which is accepted by all members of the family. However, our experiences of her differ to such an extent as to be causing real problems between family members. My husband and I 'know' her to be "a bit fuddled" from time to time (e.g. she will ask what we plan to have for dinner four times in the same conversation and she will sometimes forget words and names) however we can still hold quality converstions with her during which she will ask insightful and genuine questions about family members and family life - she can talk about politics and what she's seen on the news or read in the paper. She will despair about her lack of mobility (due to a recently fractured hip) but talk with hope about the event of the summer and her wish to once again be able to walk to the shop for her paper and 'run for a bus'. We offer her lots of practical support and always find her to be kind and warm and grateful for all that we do and she genuinly enjoys it when we visit. Her realtionship with other family members is however very different and fraught with problems. She seldom speaks well of them insisting that they are trying to control her and don't listen to what she has to say. She says she feels neglected by them and while I have no doubt that they do care they provide her with little or no practical support. The family members in question experience my mother in law as angry, abusive and difficult. They consider that her dementia has developed to such a stage that residential care needs to be considered - they no longer see the person she was and even more interestingly they do not see the person we see. This dissonance has created real problems in that it has become impossible to discuss or plan for her needs. Is this an experience that has been had by others using this forum - can people with Alzheimers present differently to different people? Nancy B.