Lise, you aren't the only hated daughter by a long shot. I was on another thread here on TP not too long ago where we discussed this topic and I'll post you a link if I can figure out how.
Come here and visit anytime you need or want to. There are times when I feel that TP is the only place I can get advice from people who are listening to me, and responding not just with advice, but knowing what it's like to experience all of this dementia madness.
Others have said this, but please do give it time. My mother, while not suicidal like yours, but still bad in her own way, also gave me the "I can't believe you've done this to me" routine, both in the hospital and the care home; the "we really wanted a boy and you were a disappointment when you turned out to be a girl" speech; and generally difficult and nasty comments. All delivered when there was no one else to hear her, of course, and then she'd turn and be sweet as pie to the nurses or staff. Plus she adores my husband and is never unpleasant to him.
However, three months since she moved into the CH, this behaviour has stopped. I'm not saying she is thrilled to be there, but she is no longer obsessed with "why am I here?" and "take me home," which is a huge relief.
After moving her in to the CH, I did not visit for at least 2 weeks. My initial visits were short and never by myself. I still don't visit her by myself, in fact. You do what you need to do, to take care of yourself and never mind what other people think. The version of events that the CH staff gives me is very different from what my mother presents to me!
I hope you will find what works for you, and some peace with the situation, eventually, Lise. Remember you are not alone.