Will be out of touch

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
because I'll be getting on a plane in about 16 hours. I'll try to check in (I may NEED to check in) while I'm back in the UK, but it means going to the library. As it stands, they've done another x-ray, but it hasn't been evaluated yet, so no change on the mother front. I'm supposed to be coming back on the 4th Feb, but we shall see (haven't told the family yet that it's fluid).

I hate flying (which is a little unfortunate)

Jennifer
 

Nell

Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
1,170
68
Australia
Dear Jennifer,
Perhaps by the time you read this you'll be back at home. It must be SOOOO hard being a Carer at lng distance - I take my hat off to you.

I sincerely hope that you find everything OK in the UK - that the x-rays don't reveal a break, and that your Mum is getting better.

I know it is not the purpose of the trip, but I hope you can find some time for yourself to relax while you are away. Thinking of you: Nell
 

Cate

Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
1,370
Newport, Gwent
Dear Jennifer

Hope you have a good flight (if there is such a thing), and that you find mum is doing better.

Be kind to yourself.............. try and have some 'me' time.

Love
Cate
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
Actually, I need to get my hair cut! I thought I might do that while mummy is still in hospital - having it cut will save me from pulling it out :D

I am still up because my DD is driving me crazy with her resume - she needs to get an internship this summer, and she is really obsessing over it (SOP for her). I love her dearly, but my goodness, the emotions...

Jennifer
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Jennifer

Hope I haven't missed you!

Hope your flight is OK, and you have some happy times with your mum. Check in to let us know how things are, if you get chance.

Love,
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,321
Kent
Hi Jennifer, I`m sure I`ve missed you but hope the visit goes well and you will feel better for the it. Love Sylvia x
 

mel

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
1,656
63
Sheffield
Hi Jennifer
well I'm absolutely certain I've missed you!!!
But safe journey anyway:)
Love Wendy xx
 

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
5,379
NW England
jenniferpa said:
Actually, I need to get my hair cut! I thought I might do that while mummy is still in hospital - having it cut will save me from pulling it out :D
That's the spirit!!!!! Always find a positive......!!!! :)

Best of luck with your travelling, and of course, hope things work out well for your mum ..... sure you'll feel better just for the visit .....

Do keep us posted when you can .... - or come here and scream when you need to (Folk don't say 'Shush' as much in the libraries these days!;) )

In the meantime, thinking of you and mum, and all best wishes etc ......

Love, Karen, x
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
Just a quick update. Mummy's still in hospital, but hopefully will be coming out quite soon - it seems impossible for them to do more than one thing on 1 day. She hadn't broken anything, thank goodness, but it seems clear that she will no longer be able to live alone, even with the level of care she has been recoieving. Unfortunately, no rooms ar ecurrently available , so I'll be staying here for a while
 

alex

Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
1,665
Hi Jennifer

Just catching up on your post..................i do hope you get your mum sorted soon.

Best of luck
Love Alex x
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Jennifer

Good to hear from you. Hope you can find a nice place for your Mum. It might be less stressful for you, knowing she has 24 hr care.

Try and keep in touch if you can.

Love,
 

Cate

Registered User
Jul 2, 2006
1,370
Newport, Gwent
Hi Jennifer

Good to hear from you, and no broken bones for mum.

It may be a blessing in disguise that mum needs residential care now, in the long term it will save you a lot of worry, you will know that she is being well looked after 24/7.

Good luck in your quest to find somewhere really nice.

Love
Cate
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,321
Kent
Good to hear from you again, Jennifer. I think it will be much better all round for your mum to have 24 hour care. It seems to have been on the cards for a while. Living with someone who needs care is difficult enough, living in the same area is a bit more difficult, but living in a different country.............I really think you`ve been amazing. I`m sure you`ll have much more peace of mind and just hope you are able to find somewhere that makes you feel confident with the care on offer.
Good luck, Sylvia x
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
I'm back..

but only just. I finally got mummy out of hospital on Wednesday. and everything seemed OK (not great, but workeable) until early Saturday morning, when she fell out of bed (again). Then it happened again: mass panic - clearly she couldn't be allowed to stay on her own, but there were no nursing beds available. So, I was resigned (tearful but resigned) to staying on for longer. However, her wonderful care manager managed to find a bed for her in the nursing home as a stop-gap measure, and the carers she has at the moment will continue to care for her (even though it's a different department). I'm going to come back again in March to hopefully settle her permanently, but it's a bit up in the air at the moment. Now, of course, I feel tearful becasue I've left her - damned if I do, damned if I don't. Will post more tommorow (just got back).

Jennifer
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,321
Kent
Welcome back Jennifer. You`ve been missed.
I`m glad you`ve got some sort of stability for your mother and even though you`re upset at having to leave her again, you`ll be seeing her soon. Hope the jet lag`s not too overwhelming.
Love Sylvia x
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,490
66
Toronto, Canada
Hi Jennifer,
Things will settle sooner than you think. And it will be a big relief to you not to worry about your mum falling or eating bad food or whatever. Take a deep breath and hang in there.

Joanne
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
I'm posting this here becasue, well, I need to get it all out..

When I got to the UK I went straight to the hospital to find that 3 days later, they still hadn't read her second x ray. However, as I said before, when they did get round to it, nothing was broken, so it turned into a massive struggle to get her out. The most shocking thing I found was that she was covered, absolutely covered, with welts and bleeding scratches because she had a massive attack of itching. I hot footed it to the nursing station where I was told "Oh yes, we could arrange for a dematology consult if you'd like"??!! Yes I most certainly WOULD like. Strangely, her notes at the bottom of the bed indicated that her skin was "normal"! It took several days to set that up, and although they prescribed a different cream for her, I suspect that it was an allergic reaction to something in their laundry - it didn't really start to calm down until retuned home. Anyway, as from the 22nd, she had a note above her bed to say that she was orthopedically ready to be discharge. However, several days elapsed before the PT department started to get her to move, and by that time, they decided she needed a psychology consult because "she's sleeping a lot". So wait, wait, wait. On the 26th, when the consult still hadn't happened I said "why not do this as an outpatient?" Oh yes that might be an idea, was the reply. Then we had the weekend, when nothing happens. Monday, I again suggested that the psychology consult might take place on an outpatient basis.

By this time, I had also discovered that whoever had filled out her falls assessment had got it totally wrong - no visual impairment (she has cataracts, macular degeneration, and lost half her visual field to the strokes), no medication issues (she's on so many meds she should rattle when she moves), no dementia (did they talk to her?), and most appalling of all, that she hadn't been admitted as a result of a fall (excuse me, why was she in there then), resulting in the diagnosis of low fall risk. I was, as you can imagine beside my self with irritation. Finally got that rewritten, and also pointed out that one of the issues was that being able to use a walker safely when a PT was instracting her, was not the same as remembering how to use a walker safely on her own. Also, what about the falling out of bed? Tuesday, I called the hopital to make an appointment with her consultant, and Wednesday, I got a call to say she was being discharged. Call me cynical, but this is exactly what happened last time - called the consultant (never spoke to him) and suddenly, she's discharged. Coincidence or what? However the falling out of bed issue hadn't been addressed, at least not with me. The next day, I got a call from the pyschology outreach - the only sensible person I spoke to in the entire episode. Why had she been referred I ask - because she was sleeping a lot, and they thought she might be depressed. Are you aware that she's on anti-depressants? No, ward staff hadn't mentioned that. Is it uncommon for an 89 year old stroke victim to spend a lot of time sleeping? No it's not. Why had it taken almost a week to get a consult? Because the left hand down't know what the right hand is doing and no one had bothered to send the email asking for the consult until the Wednesday she was discharged. £500 a day for a hospital bed for over 6 days because they "forgot" to send the email. Is it any wonder that the NHS is in financial difficulties? Incidentally, she also told me that there was supposed to be a named key-worker to follow each patient throught the system but this was news to me. While this was going on she essentially stopped eating, except what I gave her. Oh special note - when she wouldn't eat, one of the auxilliaries (I got this from the woman in the bed opposite who was an ex-social worker and who took all these frail elderly patient under her wing) said "she's just putting it on" Isn't that great? Of course, not eating meant that her blood values went haywire, so that had to be stabilized.

Call me frustrated.

Jennifer
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,321
Kent
Oh dear jennifer. I`m totally lost for words. And I thought you`d had a successful trip. Sorry. Love Sylvia.
P.S. I don`t suppose you`ve even been left with the energy or emotional strength to make a formal complaint.
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,448
Mummy seems to be settling in to the nursing home. I just spoke to her care manager, and I'll ned to be there from the 5th march to the 17th or so, as they need that bed for a respite placement. By that point, we should have a clearer idea of whether she needs a permanent placement. At least in the new situation she can't fall out of bed, which is the most dangerous time for her. I'm going to start a new post on the bed issue - maybe someone has suggestions.

Jennifer