Wife reacts to people shouting and loud noises

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by ASPIRE, Jan 4, 2016.

  1. ASPIRE

    ASPIRE Registered User

    Jan 9, 2014
    15
    cambridge
    #1 ASPIRE, Jan 4, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2016
    Help my wife reacts ( aggressive ) to some of the other residents in care home who shout and bang on things and others who keep saying depressing sayings over and over again.
    It seems that verbal abuse is OK But aggression is not.

    Has anyone else had the same problem and what was the out come Please
     
  2. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    I've seen residents who are annoying other residents being gently led out of the room, or taken to another room. This at least gives the other residents in the room some peace for a while.

    Residents annoying others is a problem which happens over and over again in care homes and the only thing staff can do is take the annoying resident away for a while.

    xxTinaT
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,520
    Female
    South coast
    There are two residents at mums CH who are agressive and wind each other up - we're talking zimmer frames being chucked across the lounge here - and the staff work very hard to prevent them from being together or even meeting each other.Its done along the lines of - oh, have you seen whats happening in the garden? or - lets go into the other lounge, the chairs are much more comfy there. Then the staff take the resident by the hand and lead them somewhere else. Though, if its zimmer frames at dawn they all come running!
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,006
    Yorkshire
    Hi ASPIRE
    My dad is sensitive to noise too and on a bad day will react.
    There are residents who call out a lot, including "Can I die now" - there are residents who tap and bang - there are residents who talk to themselves and very interesting things are said in very colourful language - there are residents who will pick an argument
    The staff know the residents well and use several techniques with them - they know who not to place near each other - they sit some in the quiet lounge for periods - some residents are taken to their own rooms (most have a TV and music available) - most are cajoled along - some are told firmly that they are disturbing others and must stop - music is played in the lounge to help the atmosphere
    and, sadly, once in a while there are tricky interactions - the staff firmly take control and are able to separate and lead in opposite directions, largely because the residents do accept the 'authority' of the staff who work hard to build positive relationships
    with my dad, it's best to watch for the signs that he is becoming anxious and agitated and remove him to the peace and quiet of his room to settle - and no he's not 'grounded' or sent to Coventry or anything nasty or malicious - he prefers quiet and he chooses often to spend time alone, but also comes out of his room to spend the day in the lounge with others
    the residents on the whole cannot help their individual ticks and most are not noisy all the them - but some can be pretty annoying - any group of people will not get on all the time

    if you really feel that your wife is not being treated fairly, please do chat with the staff - ask them what the procedures are and what they do to support her - I've found that being up front and honest with the staff about how I see my dad and how I help him has meant that they are open with me and we share information - after all we are now a team supporting dad as best we can
     

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