Thanks everyone!!!

Hi,
A big thanks to everyone who has responded. It was re-assuring to read about other peoples experiences and see that its not a unique situation (which is sort of sad that so many people lose touch with sufferers in care - but at the same time made me realise I'm not alone). I just need to learn to focus on the positives which so many of you have highlighted and just let those who don't visit (whatever their reasons) get on with it. The annoying thing was I had thought about visitors when chosing a home. I was really lucky to get mum into a fantastic home when I did. She lived alone (mums in Scotland and I'm down South England) and she was wandering in the middle of the night. I had a full care package arranged for her but she wouldn't let them in or wasn't in when they called. So she wasn't getting her meds, she wasn't eating the meals I was having delivered - she was just so vulnerable and I was so far away. The care homes local to me didn't have the type of secure dementia wing I knew mum needed and the one that did was 30miles away with a waiting list of 16 and no spare beds! At the time if mum stayed local in Scotland I could get her in quicker (and she'd be safe ASAP - I'd never have forgiven myself if something happened to her whilst I was waiting for a bed in England to make things more convenient for me). Plus the idea of her being in Scotland was rather than just me visiting she would have all these friends and neighbours (not!) Anyway the main thing is mum is settled and in a fantastic care home that really looks after her and she does have a few regular visitors. I get up about every 8 weeks and still phone every week. Maybe its a blessing that she is at the stage now where 5 minutes after any vistor has left she can't remember them ever being there. I still wish I lived closer but I know that I can't drag mum around the country as I change jobs.
So big thanks again to everyone I really appreciate your help.

Ann