Why is my sister so blooming difficult?

[notsogooddtr]

I was the much older sister, by almost 15 years.
I always thought I knew best. My way or the Highway!My brother didn't want to do what I thought was necessary. I wish I'd accepted his right to have a different opinion

 

[MaNaAk]

Dear @Wildflowerlady ,

I hope you're okay. Please let us know what you decide. Please try not to lose sleep over this.

MaNaAk

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Thank you to everyone that has contributed to my post. The good news is I spoke to the company that have the headstone yesterday and the lady was really helpful. I have decided that dads details name and his dates go under mums details ( already on the stone ) and will add 'Loving Husband and Dad' underneath. I will be omitting the bit above his name that I was thinking of as lady advised that the heading on mums bit 'Always in our hearts' could also be seen as the same sentiment for dad. The words Together again will be going on the base of the headstone, its not the bit on the grass as lady explained that is the foundation bit. Partner and I went to the cemetery yesterday so that we could take a better look at some examples of words being added onto the base part. The cemetery is pretty small so there isn't lots of headstones for us to look at. I expect the lady will be relieved as she had sent me three quotes in the end to accommodate my pondering over how to sort the wording out. I won't advise sister of the extra line and further cost as she has been clear what she is going to pay towards the work. I feel much happier now and will email the company over the weekend so that the lady can post me the paperwork they need for themselves to go ahead and the cemetery paperwork for their approval of the wording.
I am now 62 years and spent much of my life wishing my sister and I could have been closer. I would dearly have loved to have got along with her. My mum did say that when I came along my sister was jealous I think this has been the problem which she didn't grow out of. Were my parents perfect parents no but are any of us perfect? I do believe that my mum and dad did the best they knew how in bringing us up and they did obviously love both of us . Mum and dad were never overly cuddly parents but realising this I was different with my own children. My daughter is a cuddly person not just with family but her friends too fortunately she exudes happiness ( most of the time ). My son well another story altogether. Do I feel they could have tried to sort us out and should they have intervened more ? I will confess I wish they had been able to perhaps they could have tried harder but that's wishful thinking on my part. My sisters personality is very different and they accepted it change isn't possible if someone is adamant they don't want to, she wasn't a bad daughter towards them so I can't fault her on that but mum and dad were certainly aware of her moods. I daresay my sister is kind within her own family and to people she chooses to but I was never in that circle of kindness. Growing up I cannot remember us ever being friends we went to the same schools but when at Secondary school we never walked there or back together . We never socialised or had the same friends I think she didn't want me to mix with them I suppose it feels like she was ashamed of me. Not a big gap between us as she is just under 3 years older. When she got married she picked three school friends to be her bridesmaids never considered how I would feel. I was 18 and although we weren't close it still hurt felt like she valued her friends more than her own sister. To be honest I almost didn't go to her wedding because I think we had an argument about 2 weeks before probably unusual because we really didn't speak much. I did attend with my fiancé because it would have hurt mum and dad for me not to and likely cause them some embarrassment.. We did somehow get along for a few short years when we both had our children and the children enjoyed each others company two daughters to her and a daughter and son to me we lived close then and we do now . We had the most enormous falling out when I was in my later 30's as I had decided to lose weight. I was concerned that both my parents had ended up with blood pressure problems which they both needed medicating for they weren't that old and mum had also developed type 2 diabetes. I got myself fit and slimmer and felt great but for some reason my weight loss seemed concerning to some of my family. I was doing everything right and was being monitored at the gym I was using. There were no concerns from the people that worked there or my now ex husband. My sister invited me round on my birthday with the children and when my daughter went upstairs to play with her cousin she let rip into me. I was told I was too thin ( size 12 ) said that everyone was talking about me and were saying I looked ill but wouldn't say who was saying this, she went on to accuse me of being anorexic and then turned to my young son and said ' your mother is going to die' I couldn't believe what she said in front of him and all I could get out my mouth was I think we should leave now. I called my daughter down from the bedroom and said we have to go. I sat in the car outside my sisters with my children and shook and burst into tears because I couldn't actually drive straight away as I was so upset. A long time after this I did find out my mum and dad were actually aware she was going to speak to me that day but said they had no idea exactly what she was going to say. My sister 'confessed' in 2016 when we did start talking it was them that had said I looked ill and not random people at all. They didn't condone what she said but I do feel they didn't support me as much as they should have. I have to accept that they were my parents and were obviously worried but just wish they had been more honest with me about it. My sister didn't help as had been saying things that got them more worried they probably had no idea what anorexia even was until she told them. I didn't speak with my sister again until 2016 the week my mum died because she never once contacted me. I didn't want to contact her unless she was prepared to say sorry and all indications from mum and dad were she wasn't going to. In all these years she has never apologised we didn't visit our parents at the same time and our children never mixed again which was the worst thing as my daughter and her cousin were good together. I wasn't anorexic nor in any danger of becoming so. When we eventually came back together to care for dad when mum died I thought we were doing pretty ok but her nasty side eventually reared its head and got the better of her. I have resigned myself to the fact that once she receives a copy of the invoice when the work on the headstone is done we will never have contact again. I actually think she's being silly wanting to send her fee separately as one cheque or payment could have be sent to them. The nieces and two Great Nephews that I gained for a short time lost once again as won't keep contact with me for fear of upsetting her. I was once told by her daughter I was a great auntie and she had missed me. I know we are definitely not unique in having these sibling problems as my own two children that did get along when younger don't actually get along now but at least they don't harass each other.
I picked up a new blood pressure machine yesterday so that I can keep one upstairs as I've been advised to take my blood pressure before I get up ( if possible ) and to check it again before bedtime. I have to say its a bit easier to use than our other one due to the cuff design and it will indicate if not put on correctly. Thankfully my blood pressure does seem ok as it will now become quite relevant to my wellbeing and safety.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Dear @Wildflowerlady ,

I hope you're okay. Please let us know what you decide. Please try not to lose sleep over this.

MaNaAk

Thank you @MaNaAk to be honest my sleep pattern is terrible I also had a headache for 2 days but it has eased off now. I have posted an update probably waffled on too much about my relationship and the background as to why sister and I can't get along. Important thing is I do know mum and dad loved me/both of us and as such some reference to that should be on the headstone for both of them. Mum had mentioned of the fact she was a wife, mum and nanny and great nanny but there wasn't room for all that as in granddad etc on dads part of the stone so I've had to do the best I can putting A Loving Husband and Dad on and the Together Again. On reflection we should have been thinking more about this when the stone was originally engraved but it was important for dad to have certain bits on and sister was wanting reference to the grandchildren and great granchildren. Logically now it would have been better to add grandparents/great grandparents after dad had passed as would have been in a better place and been relevant to both of them. I am 'TRYING' to be beyond caring about what sister will think and she won't be aware until the payment is due as to the exact wording. I only expect her to keep to what she said she wants to pay and really don't mind the extra bit myself mum and dad deserve to have it as nice as possible. Ideally it is something we should have been able to agree on but then she would only have complicated things again causing me more grief and stress. Hopefully it will be done and back on the grave in May 2022 or very soon after. I am already thinking about a fresh wreath as they do keep well the lady that did dads flowers did a beautiful funeral tribute for me and says she will be doing them so I will see what she can offer. Take care ??

 

[MaNaAk]

Thank you @MaNaAk to be honest my sleep pattern is terrible I also had a headache for 2 days but it has eased off now. I have posted an update probably waffled on too much about my relationship and the background as to why sister and I can't get along. Important thing is I do know mum and dad loved me/both of us and as such some reference to that should be on the headstone for both of them. Mum had mentioned of the fact she was a wife, mum and nanny and great nanny but there wasn't room for all that as in granddad etc on dads part of the stone so I've had to do the best I can putting A Loving Husband and Dad on and the Together Again. On reflection we should have been thinking more about this when the stone was originally engraved but it was important for dad to have certain bits on and sister was wanting reference to the grandchildren and great granchildren. Logically now it would have been better to add grandparents/great grandparents after dad had passed as would have been in a better place and been relevant to both of them. I am 'TRYING' to be beyond caring about what sister will think and she won't be aware until the payment is due as to the exact wording. I only expect her to keep to what she said she wants to pay and really don't mind the extra bit myself mum and dad deserve to have it as nice as possible. Ideally it is something we should have been able to agree on but then she would only have complicated things again causing me more grief and stress. Hopefully it will be done and back on the grave in May 2022 or very soon after. I am already thinking about a fresh wreath as they do keep well the lady that did dads flowers did a beautiful funeral tribute for me and says she will be doing them so I will see what she can offer. Take care ??

Dear @Wildflowerlady ,

I find your sister breath taking and I'm not surprised you were upset. My parents weren't perfect but they did what they thought was best. I think it could be that they didn't realise that she would speak to you like and it must have been horrible for your children.

I was told a few times last year that I had learning difficulties and this was to explain my selfishness and inability to see other people's situations. I think you could be like me in that somehow you have developed the strength to deal with this. I think what you are doing for your parents is wonderful and from my own perspective I have just spent the afternoon with my friends where I have invited one of them and her former husband for Xmas. I don't expect to hear from my youngest invisible but I may see my elder invisible before or after Xmas. It can't really be over Xmas itself as I would have to go and stay with them without any transport back here if we got on each others nerves.

I am getting on better with him which is good but it's difficult to forget certain events. I shall have to plan things as I don't want to upset him in anyway but I have to think about my anxiety. My sleeping is not brilliant either what with being diagnosed with mild/ moderate anxiety/depression but I am in a better place than last year. It is my SIL's birthday soon so I'll send her a present but broach my plans for Xmas gently. Neither invisible has thought about inviting me yet.

As a child I was okay and so was my youngest invisible and our brother was more of a handful and as a middle child he was always what we all had. As we grew older my parents became concerned that I was going to end up dropping out of school due to language difficulties in Malaysia (I ended up with a degree back here). My eldest invisible did well in Malaysia and could have got further but my parents were concerned about me, about my youngest invisible and my mum who was seriously ill at one stage was having trouble with the climate. When we arrived back here the school that we attended ended up in special measures and mum and dad regretted sending us to that school and later my brothers admitted they felt mum and dad could have done more to stop us going there. Anyway we progressed but it's just a shame that we are separated and moving on with our own lives.

I would like a better relationship with my invisibles but I would also like to sleep through the night.

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

I am sleeping a lot better now although I do have flare ups. Having OCD doesn't help but I have had since I was a teenager.

MaNaAk

PS: My fixation about switches made my mum think that I was concerned about the family's safety which of course I was. Brother thought it was funny to call me 'Schizo' but those were the days when I could throw insults back at him.

 

[Scarlet Lady]

Oh @Wildflowerlady and @MaNaAk , my heart goes out to both of you. Nobody has the perfect family, or indeed, the perfect upbringing, but it seems that both you and your siblings have carried childhood issues and resentments into adulthood, which is so sad. Your parents seemed unable or unwilling to do much about this. Maybe they didn’t think it was terribly important that their kids should all get on, but I guess a lot of parents of their generation believed that once the kids were grown, they no longer had a responsibility to them. The burdens you’ve both carried throughout your lives would give the lie to that philosophy.
@Wildflower lady, your sister’s behaviour has been shocking and appears clearly borne out of jealousy, but that’s no excuse for the harm it’s inflicted on both of your families. As far as a headstone is concerned, please do as others have advised and have the wording you choose. Even if it’s not as much as you have room for, always remember that the most important words will be carried in your heart.
@MaNaAk, you’re making progress with your Invisibles, even if it will never be perfect. You’ve come such a long way through the threads on this forum and you’ve been so gracious in your attitude to them. Perhaps they haven’t always deserved it, but you’ve been a credit to your family, I’m sure your parents would be so proud.

 

[MaNaAk]

I do have good memories but I suppose we were different characters and there were times when my youngest invisible felt closer to me than and other times when being brothers they did things together. The year before dad started to develop Alzheimers (eventhough it was probably bubbling under the surface) there was a falling between my two invisibles over the way mum had been treated by the elder invisible when dad had to go back to Malaysia to work. I shouldn't say too much more and I spent time trying to avoid conflict especially when dad became ill. They were concerned about us but sometimes we were in the middle and whilst caring I tried to see how we could get together and one stage with Alzheimers dad I am going to arrange without telling my sons so that they can face each other.

I'm not perfect and there are things that I should have done better. I'm sad that we couldn't be unified except when dad passed away but I shall plod on. However it still has to be distant for my own sanity. I wasn't very popular when I told them that I was seeing a therapist and they were cross that I didn't talk to them.

MaNaAk

 

[Starting on a journey]

No one is perfect but when one sibling is down right nasty then there is no excuse!!

 

[Wildflowerlady]

I have emailed the memorial company today so that the plans for the inscription of dads details can be set in motion and be added onto mums memorial headstone. I hope it will look fitting for them when its done. Mums inscription will be re-gilded so that the wordings are equal in colour. I did add the additional line of 'Loving Husband and Dad' Its a real shame it couldn't be done for January the anniversary of dads passing. I definitely feel my sister has caused the delay or at least not helped because she wasn't willing to discuss this earlier in the year when I had approached her about it. I'm just hoping now that it will be completed in May as that is when they told me they expected it could be done with the current workload they already have booked. I won't be contacting my sister again to advise her of the extra line to wording as she will see that on the invoice, she can then as she already requested settle the amount she was willing to pay direct with them.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Oh @Wildflowerlady and @MaNaAk , my heart goes out to both of you. Nobody has the perfect family, or indeed, the perfect upbringing, but it seems that both you and your siblings have carried childhood issues and resentments into adulthood, which is so sad. Your parents seemed unable or unwilling to do much about this. Maybe they didn’t think it was terribly important that their kids should all get on, but I guess a lot of parents of their generation believed that once the kids were grown, they no longer had a responsibility to them. The burdens you’ve both carried throughout your lives would give the lie to that philosophy.
@Wildflower lady, your sister’s behaviour has been shocking and appears clearly borne out of jealousy, but that’s no excuse for the harm it’s inflicted on both of your families. As far as a headstone is concerned, please do as others have advised and have the wording you choose. Even if it’s not as much as you have room for, always remember that the most important words will be carried in your heart.
@MaNaAk, you’re making progress with your Invisibles, even if it will never be perfect. You’ve come such a long way through the threads on this forum and you’ve been so gracious in your attitude to them. Perhaps they haven’t always deserved it, but you’ve been a credit to your family, I’m sure your parents would be so proud.

Hi @Scarlet Lady I do believe it must have been jealousy that has eaten my sister up over the years because I can't think it could be anything else. I can honestly say hand on heart I have never felt such feelings towards her. My mum did say she had told my sister I could have been her greatest friend so I do think mum and dad thought it was more my sisters issue that we didn't get on than mine.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

No one is perfect but when one sibling is down right nasty then there is no excuse!!

Hi @Starting on a journey I am definitely not perfect but I have never set out to hurt anyone or be unkind. If in the remote chance sister genuinely thinks I had been it would never have been intentional which is far different to what she has been like to me. I was even told I was looking old and wrinkly and should take a look in the mirror a few months ago via one of her messages, who says that to a sister? To be honest I cannot even think that I could have done something to her to make her feel this way about me she really is just NASTY.

 

[jennifer1967]

I have emailed the memorial company today so that the plans for the inscription of dads details can be set in motion and be added onto mums memorial headstone. I hope it will look fitting for them when its done. Mums inscription will be re-gilded so that the wordings are equal in colour. I did add the additional line of 'Loving Husband and Dad' Its a real shame it couldn't be done for January the anniversary of dads passing. I definitely feel my sister has caused the delay or at least not helped because she wasn't willing to discuss this earlier in the year when I had approached her about it. I'm just hoping now that it will be completed in May as that is when they told me they expected it could be done with the current workload they already have booked. I won't be contacting my sister again to advise her of the extra line to wording as she will see that on the invoice, she can then as she already requested settle the amount she was willing to pay direct with them.

im glad that it is all settled and you have the wording you want @Wildflowerlady i did your dad proud and dont worry about what your sisters reaction when she gets the bill

 

[Wildflowerlady]

I was the much older sister, by almost 15 years.
I always thought I knew best. My way or the Highway!My brother didn't want to do what I thought was necessary. I wish I'd accepted his right to have a different opinion

Hi @notsogooddtr my sister is only older by just under three years. I respect the fact she may have different opinions to me but her behaviour went way beyond different opinions. I was always prepared to try and work with her especially regarding our care of dad because he did sometimes pick up on the fact we were falling out again. My sister in the end actually wouldn't allow me to be in dads home at the same time as her unless someone from services were coming to see him. I complied in the end because she caused a terrible scene one day shouting at me to leave when I had gone to see him and he got very bewildered and distressed. My partner has Parkinson's that needed my time too and my having to change my visits when he got worse meant my help and time spent at dads had to be revised which she didn't like. I still helped/saw dad a few times a week but it was never enough for her and caused the final demise of our relationship.

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Dear @Wildflowerlady ,

I find your sister breath taking and I'm not surprised you were upset. My parents weren't perfect but they did what they thought was best. I think it could be that they didn't realise that she would speak to you like and it must have been horrible for your children.

I was told a few times last year that I had learning difficulties and this was to explain my selfishness and inability to see other people's situations. I think you could be like me in that somehow you have developed the strength to deal with this. I think what you are doing for your parents is wonderful and from my own perspective I have just spent the afternoon with my friends where I have invited one of them and her former husband for Xmas. I don't expect to hear from my youngest invisible but I may see my elder invisible before or after Xmas. It can't really be over Xmas itself as I would have to go and stay with them without any transport back here if we got on each others nerves.

I am getting on better with him which is good but it's difficult to forget certain events. I shall have to plan things as I don't want to upset him in anyway but I have to think about my anxiety. My sleeping is not brilliant either what with being diagnosed with mild/ moderate anxiety/depression but I am in a better place than last year. It is my SIL's birthday soon so I'll send her a present but broach my plans for Xmas gently. Neither invisible has thought about inviting me yet.

As a child I was okay and so was my youngest invisible and our brother was more of a handful and as a middle child he was always what we all had. As we grew older my parents became concerned that I was going to end up dropping out of school due to language difficulties in Malaysia (I ended up with a degree back here). My eldest invisible did well in Malaysia and could have got further but my parents were concerned about me, about my youngest invisible and my mum who was seriously ill at one stage was having trouble with the climate. When we arrived back here the school that we attended ended up in special measures and mum and dad regretted sending us to that school and later my brothers admitted they felt mum and dad could have done more to stop us going there. Anyway we progressed but it's just a shame that we are separated and moving on with our own lives.

I would like a better relationship with my invisibles but I would also like to sleep through the night.

MaNaAk

Hello @MaNaAk I was also called selfish amongst many other things was told I was looking, old wrinkly and a uncaring daughter. A neighbour of dads obviously told sister I had been wearing 'makeup' when I went to dads home to check regarding the House Clearance. Sister said I was to arrange a clearance company and I arranged the collection of the bulky bits that people wanted because she had finished off most of the boxing of stuff. I felt a reasonable request from her although it was said before I had become so poorly. I hadn't been at the house for a little while as I had been visiting dad and then I was isolating. Not sure how my wearing makeup came out from the neighbour maybe sister asked how I looked? whatever she used it to have a go at me. I saw the neighbour the day after I came out of hospital as had gone to the grave so decided to call at the house too reality was I was still feeling very poorly. My sister said in a message that I was wearing my make-up so 'not a grieving daughter'. I had only spoken to the neighbour because my sister had totally ignored my message asking if any of dads neighbours had attended the funeral. As it was an outside service some of them could have gone to the cemetery as they did when mum passed but none did probably because they hadn't seen him for a long time. I replied that I was still very poorly and I was only trying to feel a little more human which was the truth. Of course I was grieving for my dad but was feeling extremely grateful that I had survived covid and I didn't want to go out looking as poorly as I felt. I think you are a lovely caring person @MaNaAk and I really appreciate your messages to me. I'm sorry that you have had sibling issues too but I expect we will be stronger in the end and hopefully will both get some decent sleep one day. Take Care ?

 

[Wildflowerlady]

YES contact almost done @canary, sister says she wants to send her part of the bill separately when the work is done lets hope she does but if not I'll have to suck the whole bill up myself. I have told her the cemetery fee to put the headstone back is a little more than quoted but she's ignored that too. Sisters failure to send her bit would reflect more on her character than mine if she wants to be mean so be it.. My sister can genuinely afford to pay she just wants to be difficult and upset me. I have actually emailed the company again as I wondered if they can add an additional line so that the inscription will be more in line with mums and I'm happy to pay for it myself. I don't think will be much more if it can be done and look nice space wise. Mum had 'Forever in our hearts' and other bits Wife, Mum Grandmother, Great Grandmother so I'm thinking dad could have 'Always remembered' above his details but there wasn't much room left after mums inscription went on. Allowing for dads name and dates to be added it might not be possible. We are having 'Together Again' as mum and dad were never apart for most of their married life. ( Dad was in navy for a while ) it may go on the plinth if they can accommodate the other line? .

Must have had a wobbly head when I did my post @canary as mums headstone actually has 'Always in our hearts' and nan, nanny, great nanny but have checked and checked again all dads details to be added. I really should have known better but the headstone was taken away in January and I'm sure my thinking is a muddle. I like to blame covid as its said some people have struggled with concentration

 

[Wildflowerlady]

@Wildflowerlady and @Duggies-girl you are both the ‘special’ child in your respective families because you truly cared for your father when they needed you most. The other sibling was (choose from….) unsupportive, mean, lazy, greedy etc.

Thank you @Melles Belles I tried my best in the care and love I could provide for mum and dad including the things that needed to be done which we don't really expect to have to do ( such as cleaning dad up when he had soiled himself ). My sister was good to them and I can't fault her in her love and the care she also provided for them but I will pick 'unsupportive, mean, and greedy from your list. Unsupportive because she wouldn't accept that my partner needed my care too with his Parkinson's and heart issues, mean because she was so mean to me and greedy because when dads estate sorted ( no home to sell as rented all his life ) she thought she actually 'deserved' more. She didn't get more as was divided equally just as they would have wanted.

 

[MaNaAk]

Hello @MaNaAk I was also called selfish amongst many other things was told I was looking, old wrinkly and a uncaring daughter. A neighbour of dads obviously told sister I had been wearing 'makeup' when I went to dads home to check regarding the House Clearance. Sister said I was to arrange a clearance company and I arranged the collection of the bulky bits that people wanted because she had finished off most of the boxing of stuff. I felt a reasonable request from her although it was said before I had become so poorly. I hadn't been at the house for a little while as I had been visiting dad and then I was isolating. Not sure how my wearing makeup came out from the neighbour maybe sister asked how I looked? whatever she used it to have a go at me. I saw the neighbour the day after I came out of hospital as had gone to the grave so decided to call at the house too reality was I was still feeling very poorly. My sister said in a message that I was wearing my make-up so 'not a grieving daughter'. I had only spoken to the neighbour because my sister had totally ignored my message asking if any of dads neighbours had attended the funeral. As it was an outside service some of them could have gone to the cemetery as they did when mum passed but none did probably because they hadn't seen him for a long time. I replied that I was still very poorly and I was only trying to feel a little more human which was the truth. Of course I was grieving for my dad but was feeling extremely grateful that I had survived covid and I didn't want to go out looking as poorly as I felt. I think you are a lovely caring person @MaNaAk and I really appreciate your messages to me. I'm sorry that you have had sibling issues too but I expect we will be stronger in the end and hopefully will both get some decent sleep one day. Take Care ?

Dear @Wildflowerlady,

I was told that I was badly brought up by the eldest of my two brothers in of my youngest nephew and sister-in-law before dad passed. Brother was not pleased with me putting dad in a care home without his permission ( I had POA) I did object to this later but at the time I thought well he isn't going to stay long so I'll put up with it. It all came out in the end and felt I good about it. Anyway I remember whilst growing up thinking it would be nice to have an older sister but when I became a music teacher I remember one particular pair of sisters. There was four years between them and yet big sister regarded little sister as a nuisance. Although she did say I suppose I love my sister but sister thought she didn't like her and told me that she didn't like her in return! They could be quite spiteful but I have to say that the older sister could be very sullen and difficult.

Anyway please keep us informed about the inscription and I think you've got the strength of an ox. I'm looking forward to spending Xmas with my friends as I think that Xmas with my eldest brother my be difficult as I would have to stay with him when there will be no trains!

MaNaAk

 

[MaNaAk]

Dear @Wildflowerlady,

I was just wondering how you were getting on with the headstone inscription.

MaNaAk

 

[Wildflowerlady]

Dear @Wildflowerlady,

I was just wondering how you were getting on with the headstone inscription.

MaNaAk

Hi MaNaAk I have received the forms I need to send back to the stone mason and they will forward the one to the parish council to approve the extra inscription. Fortunately it looks like they will be able to add the extra line that I wanted A Loving Husband and Dad and of course the Together again on the base so I'm really pleased. Watching Coronation Street the other night when the little girl locked the young boy Sam on the balcony actually reminded me that my sister did that to me too as we lived in a block of flats for many years when children.