Hi everyone I have a to talk to someone , Peter has been in the home nearly a year now and it's been very lonely, I visit him every day , he is fine always smiling when I go or asleep and I know in my heart it's the best place for him he is looked after , and looks so well , then why do I feel so bad when I leave him , the children tell me not to go every day and go out with friends but I just can't I have to go and see him , I just don't want to go out anywhere I just go and see Peter and come home, I tell myself I did my best for him but it just does not make any difference I just feel so sad and it's getting harder to hide the way I feel from my family , they think I am better with it all now if they only knew , I still cry most days it just don't seem to get better at all hope you don't mine me going on . big hugs to you all Christmas