Why don't I want to do anything


Registered User
Apr 27, 2014
Hi everyone I have a to talk to someone , Peter has been in the home nearly a year now and it's been very lonely, I visit him every day , he is fine always smiling when I go or asleep and I know in my heart it's the best place for him he is looked after , and looks so well , then why do I feel so bad when I leave him , the children tell me not to go every day and go out with friends but I just can't I have to go and see him , I just don't want to go out anywhere I just go and see Peter and come home, I tell myself I did my best for him but it just does not make any difference I just feel so sad and it's getting harder to hide the way I feel from my family , they think I am better with it all now if they only knew , I still cry most days it just don't seem to get better at all hope you don't mine me going on . big hugs to you all Christmas


Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time. It must be even harder at this time of the year when all around may seem so festive and jolly.

It might be a good idea to visit your GP and have a chat about how you're feeling. He/she might be able to refer you to a counsellor. I think it would be good for you to talk about your feelings. Perhaps anti- depressants might be something to be considered.

Wishing you strength.


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
Good advice from Izzy. I think you would benefit from talking things over with someone who understands.

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
he is fine always smiling when I go or asleep and I know in my heart it's the best place for him he is looked after , and looks so well
This is what you must keep telling yourself @christmas.

You are missing Peter being at home with you but you are still sharing his life in the best way possible for both of you. I found I was able to visit on alternate days after a while and perhaps this may be possible for you.

Counselling may help and well worth trying. I wouldn`t worry too much about your tears. I believe they are the best way to release pent up emotions.

You are not expected to be happy. Your husband is poorly and you are separated. It`s not what anyone would choose. All you can do is try to make the best of the hand life has dealt for you.


Registered User
Feb 11, 2010
Good advice above from wise people who have been through similar experience.

I wonder if you could try some little steps in this? Could you perhaps arrange to meet someone on the way home from your visit to Peter occasionally?

Maybe go for a coffee and cake to cheer you up and someone to talk to in different settings might be a start in relieving some of the stress of the return journey.

Small steps......


Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
Mid Lincs
I hate this situation we find ourselves in. I shed tears for all of us not just myself.

Christmas, please think of the happier times, think how you would wish Peter to live his life if the roles were reversed.
I think Goingitalone's idea of stopping off for a coffee or meeting up with friends on the way home would be a really good start.

I hope you find peace soon.
Sending Hugs xx


Registered User
Apr 27, 2014
Thank you so much ,I have thought about what you said and will try to take your advice , I will go to the doctors I think you are all right I need to get some thing for my depression ,I never thought I could ever admit it but I am depressed and it's time I ask my doctor for help x hugs to you all and I hope you all have a nice Christmas if you can x xxx