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Why do we have siblings who won't help?

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
939
0
We would like to change the cleaner to be fair, she is someone dad recruited from another neighbour but unlike company when she is ill or away then we have no replacement. She isn't back until next week from holiday as it turns out and Dad hadn't remembered. It's a work in progress lol
I actually arranged only last week to have a cleaner after giving it much thought as I was worrying that people might think me lazy. It's likely I have those worries as my sister felt I didn't do enough because eventually I had to cut down some of the time I spent with my dad when he was alive with dementia. My partner needed me too but she never accepted his illness and thought my dad should always be my priority. I did what I could but she felt I let not only dad down but her too. We now no longer speak our dad died 16 months ago and mum passed in 2016. In truth I'm tired now worn down with the caring of dad for a few years running back and forwards to his home although it was with other help so not all done alone. I'm only 62 years but partner is 79 with Parkinson's and he can't do anything much now. Partner has already had two falls in the last week and strong male neighbour had to come over and get him up one of the times as it was in the garden and I couldn't lift him up to get him back in the house. My gardener let me down this year says too much work to come so on top of being the cook, cleaner, decorator, administrator of bills, shopper and carer for partner etc not forgetting my little dog that needs medication for her epilepsy I now have fairly large garden to do 😴. I think I do need a bit of help and not unreasonable now but my sister would definitely be critical if she knew. I've only asked cleaning girl to come fortnightly for a couple of hours initially to see how it works out. Problem is as you say reliability. Today having got all worked up and actually doing lots of cleaning and tidying myself anyway I received message this morning to say she had to cancel and has rebooked me for two weeks time. I'm gutted she's not coming says her child is unwell and off school today. I do appreciate things can happen but it does beg the question regarding school holidays and what she does then. I messaged her to ask but as yet no reply, me thinks isn't looking great.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,877
0
Southampton
I actually arranged only last week to have a cleaner after giving it much thought as I was worrying that people might think me lazy. It's likely I have those worries as my sister felt I didn't do enough because eventually I had to cut down some of the time I spent with my dad when he was alive with dementia. My partner needed me too but she never accepted his illness and thought my dad should always be my priority. I did what I could but she felt I let not only dad down but her too. We now no longer speak our dad died 16 months ago and mum passed in 2016. In truth I'm tired now worn down with the caring of dad for a few years running back and forwards to his home although it was with other help so not all done alone. I'm only 62 years but partner is 79 with Parkinson's and he can't do anything much now. Partner has already had two falls in the last week and strong male neighbour had to come over and get him up one of the times as it was in the garden and I couldn't lift him up to get him back in the house. My gardener let me down this year says too much work to come so on top of being the cook, cleaner, decorator, administrator of bills, shopper and carer for partner etc not forgetting my little dog that needs medication for her epilepsy I now have fairly large garden to do 😴. I think I do need a bit of help and not unreasonable now but my sister would definitely be critical if she knew. I've only asked cleaning girl to come fortnightly for a couple of hours initially to see how it works out. Problem is as you say reliability. Today having got all worked up and actually doing lots of cleaning and tidying myself anyway I received message this morning to say she had to cancel and has rebooked me for two weeks time. I'm gutted she's not coming says her child is unwell and off school today. I do appreciate things can happen but it does beg the question regarding school holidays and what she does then. I messaged her to ask but as yet no reply, me thinks isn't looking great.
no one could ever call you lazy @Wildflowerlady maybe she was going to bring her child with her. need to get some one reliable
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
854
0
@Wildflowerlady, please don't worry about what other people might think, your sister especially. I think that this is a legacy of your sister's behaviour towards you. You are a carer, and have been a carer, for years, and if you think that you need help with the house and garden then that is nobody else's business.

On the subject of reliability, it might be worthwhile using a cleaning agency if it can find a substitute if your regular cleaner cannot come for any reason. I feel that it's not really good enough for a fortnightly cleaner to cancel and then not come for another two weeks.

I think that gardeners are quite hard to find, and it seems that they can afford to be picky about the work they do. I think that many don't want to come for just an hour. Asking someone to come for longer but less frequently might be more successful.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
939
0
no one could ever call you lazy @Wildflowerlady maybe she was going to bring her child with her. need to get some one reliable
Thank you @jennifer1967 maybe she was thinking of doing that I'll see what she says if she does reply to my message. I asked on our local gazette that only serves our area and she contacted me offered weekly, fortnightly or monthly minimum 2 hours. Profile says she's a manager of cleaning company I'm thinking now it's a franchise maybe she's manager of 'herself'. I thought would help me and worth trying. I went through my partner's room clearing everything no longer needed so his room/bathroom would be first priority it's shocking the stuff we hang onto but some stuff have to sacrifice too in order to keep tidy. Partner was keeping boxes and boxes of medications on tops of drawers so Ive now put them all away in a pull out plastic container. A old trouser press he never uses unless to throw clothes over gathers dust so I'm taking to the tip in next day or two. I currently chucked in the shed it was heavy to carry down the stairs. The snooker cue in corner of his room gone advertised locally and a man came and took it within 24hours, he hasn't played for years so no point in keeping it. I have the room really tidy now so should be easy for girl to come and hoover and dust I'd left it dusty thinking would be done this morning. Im trying to find energy now to do as have started many jobs of de-cluttering maybe do it later today. Partner piddles and splashes his bathroom floor so he suggested I lower the special seats he has so it fits into the bowl better, clearly we should have thought of that sooner 🙄 I did do some of bathroom as didn't want her facing the piddle on floor near the toilet and outside of toilet bowl. Did a quick clean of the shower cubicle but left the sink and rest of the floor thinking she could give more more attention on her visit. I've no idea how much she or any cleaner will do in two hours but the tops of his chest of drawers and bedside cabinets are all fairly clear now so hopefully can dust and vacuum partners bedroom, clean his bathroom and maybe vacuum down the stairs if she has time. I guess I've made up my mind if she lets me down again I will definitely look for someone else. I didn't want to be mean or not understanding that today was unfortunate and her child was unwell but it isn't something I would want to have to accept on regular basis .
 
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T1000

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
110
0
Wildflower, you could virtually be talking about my brother and the relationship I had with him as a child too.

The other night my horrible brother had a call from the lifeline service to say that Mum had fallen and was on the floor - about 2,30 am. They never managed to reach me because I / we must have been fast asleep and not heard the landline quite a number of times. Brother told them he couldn't go to her because he was "over the limit". He lives in the same city(well some of the time but was there this night). This next part was my error- I had put my mobile phone by my bed but failed to turn off the night time no calls setting.I know this was unfortunate and a mistake I made but we have a landline downstairs which I would usually hear. As my brother had said no to the lifeline people and the lifeline centre couldn't get through to me they phoned our son who lives 1 and a half hours away. Our lovely son started his journey here. When my horrible brother finally managed to alert me with a call he told me Mum was on the floor. In my half awakeness I first thought he meant he was with her. He went on to rant and rant about why had I had allowed the hospital to send her home(2 days prior to that). The hospital had been lovely and very thorough, and despite 2 scans after 2 falls nothing was broken and they could see nothing on a head scan which could have been causing some one sided "head funniness" and her feeling of wobbling to that side. Note - this was a very, very intermittent thing which only had happened very occasionally. He, amongst his ranting and bullying about what he thought I had done wrong, said that he was "over the limit" and couldn't go out to her. I then learned that it had happened over an hour ago - 1 and a half hours ago to be precise and realised he wasn't with her!! So off we went, my husband who is supportive and to my mother's house. Our son arrived shortly after.

Mum was actually OK really. She had had sense enough to prop herself up against the bed and cover herself up. She had wet herself again only because she couldn't get up and I managed to get her to have a cup of tea and settle her, then sort out cancelling the ambulance and instead contact the lovely community nurse team who were so lovely that I wanted to cry. They told us to go home, get some sleep and that he would be with Mum in half an hour. So all three of us went home to our house.
On another connected note here the community nurse man said that the hospital had really concluded that the loss of balance episodes were to do probably with a manifestation of her dementia. She has had physios and OTs "arriving by the minute" over these last few days to organise adaptions and give equipment. Again am very grateful for all this help.
I had tentatively been trying to get some communication going with brother during or prior to this time but I only do it by email (which he says he doesn't read). He wants a phone call but he rants and is so nasty and wants what he wants. I fear letting him into the care agency system thing as he complains about all these services and has, in the past made Mum aware of his complaints. Sadly she somehow likes this "strong, forceful, get things done as they should be done" attitude....even though what he wants is ridiculous and not helpful. He doesn't seem to understand the process of diplomatic negotiation. So in a recent email before this event I have described there was a hopeful sentence. I quote:

"It is my understanding that if I am here in Liverpool it is as much my responsibility as yours to attend to Mum in an emergency, so at least we agree on that point."

That was 2 days before this incident where he let everyone down.
Thinking about it, as I do not know how he and his wife live their lives except to flit between 3 houses, one on another continent and another some 80 miles away, I can only conclude that he fell asleep for over an hour on this night as I have the times of the earlier recorded calls on my mobile. I wonder how severe his drinking problem is. I hardly drink really and I never drink and drive at all but there are taxis.
Mum wouldn't consider going into respite care to recover. I tried to discuss this with her and in that same email from my brother he said "On a separate point, when I spoke to Mum today, she mentioned in passing that you had asked her if she wanted to go into a nursing home" (which of course I didn't ...but there may come a day...) and there followed a further reprimand from him to me. I know she could have easily interpreted my words wrongly but he has been so against any sort of care in the first place. I am not sure now what he actually thinks about the care after I instated it (mostly only a half hour at tea time) because I couldn't cope and she had been mis-medicating her tablets...and this was while he was on a 3 month holiday over Christmas....but likely my brother would never say anything I had done was good.
It is tricky and I am worn down and I am taking each day as it comes and hoping that we might still go away for a planned 4 night break later this week. I have sent a reminder text to him and said that our son will not be able to do a journey in place of him in an emergency. As usual, no reply.
And yes I also feel that I am going through the motions of care for my mother. It is so difficult. She can wind me up so much,still. She never actually had a mass of tact but this aspect of her personality is now showing more. I do the job out of duty. I wonder how I would feel if I didn't have to be the one to put so much in. Would I feel more affection? Possibly. I need a the planned break but really to see what happens maybe before then- but yes I am nervous about the consequences. My health is suffering though. I know my stress levels have been too high.
So sorry to hear this, you definitely would love a break I am sure and hope you get one. Can relate re communications with sibling, I have had to enforce boundaries with one of mine, who rages and shouts and has poor communication in general. Feels hard done by and I am and others are at fauly for his entire life it would seem, not the decisions he has himself made.
 

T1000

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
110
0
This is true. I have an older brother and a younger one.
Younger one lives 10 minute walk from care home with dad in it. Hasn't set foot in it in 3 years or seen dad for over 2 years now.
I live 7 hours drive away and am really the key carer and main contact. My elder brother lives several hours away but not as many and does chip in but has to be asked.
They are like this because they are male, the younger is babied by my family who believe anything he tells them, and he's an avoider who will stick his head in the sand at any opportunity.
Apart from being the only daughter I probably have the best relationship with dad. I'm his favourite and the one he deems most successful - I moved away, worked hard, have a house, marriage etc. No kids but if we had them it would have been the cherry on the cake. I realised early on how difficult my dad was and reconciled it. Something the other two haven't been able to do. And at the end of the day I am less afraid to get my hands dirty.
For my inlaws I plan to not get involved. I love them but I don't buy presents or send cards, that is up to my husband. And the same for whatever lies ahead. I sorted out my family, he must take the lead with his.
Yes - same - younger one has always been babies and saved, financially and emotionally by the family. Now that his financial situation is dire, and he can no longer access mums finances, he lashes out and I get accused of all sorts for trying to preserve her capital for care. There's no appreciation for what hubby and I have been doing, having her in our ouwn home for 3 years now. He lives in his own world where all that matters is he feels entitled. I do think there's a male/female thing going on too, because my siblings are excused because they work (as in, a 'real job', manly) whereas I work from home most days and care for mum at the same time as well as being a parent.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
939
0
@Wildflowerlady, please don't worry about what other people might think, your sister especially. I think that this is a legacy of your sister's behaviour towards you. You are a carer, and have been a carer, for years, and if you think that you need help with the house and garden then that is nobody else's business.

On the subject of reliability, it might be worthwhile using a cleaning agency if it can find a substitute if your regular cleaner cannot come for any reason. I feel that it's not really good enough for a fortnightly cleaner to cancel and then not come for another two weeks.

I think that gardeners are quite hard to find, and it seems that they can afford to be picky about the work they do. I think that many don't want to come for just an hour. Asking someone to come for longer but less frequently might be more successful.
Hello @Violet Jane yes I think you are quite right regards the gardener I think in his opinion he wasn't getting enough work with us so I tend to feel he dumped us. I was and am cutting our fairly large back lawn and he was mostly doing the front of the house. My mower is quite light no wires to trip over as battery but partner can't help his balance and general strength is not good enough. Partner has problems some days just getting around in the house so use wheelchair if we go out. Gardener we had occasionally cut a honeysuckle in the back garden did the hedges and the weeding out the front. I've seen him in our road and around the corner this year so obviously he has retained work in our area. It's a bit annoying really as when we first had him I'm sure he was just starting up and gave him the work. I enjoyed doing pots in my garden last year pretty much first time ever, little dog used to just dig them out of borders so got rid of the borders. It was nice to sit in the garden seeing the beautiful flowers I had grown. I found it quite therapeutic but hated the weeding but I did get it done. I want to enjoy some time back in the garden again so was hoping the gardener would have been coming back to do the front leaving me to tend to my pots. I thought about a cleaner to help as am starting to struggle. I was very unwell with Covid last year am considered recovered but I don't feel quite the same. If am totally honest with everything else including decorating which I always do myself did my hall, stairs and landing just before Christmas plus downstairs toilet I'm honestly just feeling worn out. House has four bedrooms etc not all used on regular basis but still needing my attention to try and keep clean. I would definitely like things to be better will be making super efforts to declutter, years of stuff I don't really need.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,877
0
Southampton
Thank you @jennifer1967 maybe she was thinking of doing that I'll see what she says if she does reply to my message. I asked on our local gazette that only serves our area and she contacted me offered weekly, fortnightly or monthly minimum 2 hours. Profile says she's a manager of cleaning company I'm thinking now it's a franchise maybe she's manager of 'herself'. I thought would help me and worth trying. I went through my partner's room clearing everything no longer needed so his room/bathroom would be first priority it's shocking the stuff we hang onto but some stuff have to sacrifice too in order to keep tidy. Partner was keeping boxes and boxes of medications on tops of drawers so Ive now put them all away in a pull out plastic container. A old trouser press he never uses unless to throw clothes over gathers dust so I'm taking to the tip in next day or two. I currently chucked in the shed it was heavy to carry down the stairs. The snooker cue in corner of his room gone advertised locally and a man came and took it within 24hours, he hasn't played for years so no point in keeping it. I have the room really tidy now so should be easy for girl to come and hoover and dust I'd left it dusty thinking would be done this morning. Im trying to find energy now to do as have started many jobs of de-cluttering maybe do it later today. Partner piddles and splashes his bathroom floor so he suggested I lower the special seats he has so it fits into the bowl better, clearly we should have thought of that sooner 🙄 I did do some of bathroom as didn't want her facing the piddle on floor near the toilet and outside of toilet bowl. Did a quick clean of the shower cubicle but left the sink and rest of the floor thinking she could give more more attention on her visit. I've no idea how much she or any cleaner will do in two hours but the tops of his chest of drawers and bedside cabinets are all fairly clear now so hopefully can dust and vacuum partners bedroom, clean his bathroom and maybe vacuum down the stairs if she has time. I guess I've made up my mind if she lets me down again I will definitely look for someone else. I didn't want to be mean or not understanding that today was unfortunate and her child was unwell but it isn't something I would want to have to accept on regular basis .
thats good cleaning before the cleaner comes. that would be me as well. i have a speed mop and just wipe round the bathroom floor twice when i use the shower and around the toilet. what about your cleaning?
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
939
0
thats good cleaning before the cleaner comes. that would be me as well. i have a speed mop and just wipe round the bathroom floor twice when i use the shower and around the toilet. what about your cleaning?
Speed mop? @jennifer1967 Do you mean the ones with battery and bottle of stuff slotted in the back spray and throw away the pads. That's what I usually use but get down on hands and knees around the tricky bits using toilet paper and multi surface cleaner so I can just flush it away do the same round the actual toilet seat bowl etc.. I have a steam mop but a faff to fill heat up etc so don't use it much. Rest of cleaning I will do as I normally do unless she has bit of time to do something else. Thought if someone comes and does partners room/bathroom at least two rooms less for me. Yes cleaned up quite a bit even though cleaner supposed to come and that is typically me.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,877
0
Southampton
Speed mop? @jennifer1967 Do you mean the ones with battery and bottle of stuff slotted in the back spray and throw away the pads. That's what I usually use but get down on hands and knees around the tricky bits using toilet paper and multi surface cleaner so I can just flush it away do the same round the actual toilet seat bowl etc.. I have a steam mop but a faff to fill heat up etc so don't use it much. Rest of cleaning I will do as I normally do unless she has bit of time to do something else. Thought if someone comes and does partners room/bathroom at least two rooms less for me. Yes cleaned up quite a bit even though cleaner supposed to come and that is typically me.
i think thats a power mop. no same company but they are wet pads that attach to the mop and you throw them away afterwards. i use toilet roll for the bowl. i do use anti-bac wipes for small places. not pc but good. im lucky my oldest son and partner do help with gardening, decorating and his partner will help with any cleaning i need her to.
 

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
854
0
@Wildflowerlady, I really hope that you will be able to find a reliable cleaner and a gardener. Some charities will send people to do gardening. Do investigate the smaller, more local ones. Our local Link Age provides a light gardening service to older people and people living with dementia.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
7,595
0
Essex
It's my youngest invisible's birthday today and I sent him greetings on Facebook eventhough I knew he wouldn't respond. However I have been enjoying with an Indian takeaway and slice of cake.

MaNaAk
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
939
0
It's my youngest invisible's birthday today and I sent him greetings on Facebook eventhough I knew he wouldn't respond. However I have been enjoying with an Indian takeaway and slice of cake.

MaNaAk
Good for you @MaNaAk we love to have a curry too but not hot usually the mild ones.
 

SERENA50

Registered User
Jan 17, 2018
137
0
I actually arranged only last week to have a cleaner after giving it much thought as I was worrying that people might think me lazy. It's likely I have those worries as my sister felt I didn't do enough because eventually I had to cut down some of the time I spent with my dad when he was alive with dementia. My partner needed me too but she never accepted his illness and thought my dad should always be my priority. I did what I could but she felt I let not only dad down but her too. We now no longer speak our dad died 16 months ago and mum passed in 2016. In truth I'm tired now worn down with the caring of dad for a few years running back and forwards to his home although it was with other help so not all done alone. I'm only 62 years but partner is 79 with Parkinson's and he can't do anything much now. Partner has already had two falls in the last week and strong male neighbour had to come over and get him up one of the times as it was in the garden and I couldn't lift him up to get him back in the house. My gardener let me down this year says too much work to come so on top of being the cook, cleaner, decorator, administrator of bills, shopper and carer for partner etc not forgetting my little dog that needs medication for her epilepsy I now have fairly large garden to do 😴. I think I do need a bit of help and not unreasonable now but my sister would definitely be critical if she knew. I've only asked cleaning girl to come fortnightly for a couple of hours initially to see how it works out. Problem is as you say reliability. Today having got all worked up and actually doing lots of cleaning and tidying myself anyway I received message this morning to say she had to cancel and has rebooked me for two weeks time. I'm gutted she's not coming says her child is unwell and off school today. I do appreciate things can happen but it does beg the question regarding school holidays and what she does then. I messaged her to ask but as yet no reply, me thinks isn't looking great.
💕 Bet you are totally exhausted. I am no spring chicken early fifties but with arthritis in my knees and other bits of me so some days I am okay others not okay. Dad's cleaner is fortnightly, the alternate week I clean. Probably not enough but we just do what we can do and leave the rest. Our own house has four bedrooms and thankfully a low maintenance garden apart from hedges. With my arthritis I enrolled someone but they started charging too much so invested in a cordless hedge cutter and have to wait for the OH to give me hand with the bits I struggle with. It takes me about three weeks of doing a little and doing a bit more as well as working lol I would love a fence however too expensive and also no where for the birds. We have about the only hedges in the road. We still have young adults at home so not the right time just yet for down sizing but it is always in my mind now.
 

SERENA50

Registered User
Jan 17, 2018
137
0
@Wildflowerlady, I really hope that you will be able to find a reliable cleaner and a gardener. Some charities will send people to do gardening. Do investigate the smaller, more local ones. Our local Link Age provides a light gardening service to older people and people living with dementia.
That is true. We found a small charity that offers meals on wheels and also gardening/cleaning. Still got the menu up on Dad's wall. I have not ruled it out but Dad was not really on board however this weekend my other sibling is coming to stay for one night so it may be a good idea to order a meal whilst he is there and then Dad won't object. They do a hot lunch including a hot pudding and delivery for £4.95 which is a bargain I think.
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
939
0
💕 Bet you are totally exhausted. I am no spring chicken early fifties but with arthritis in my knees and other bits of me so some days I am okay others not okay. Dad's cleaner is fortnightly, the alternate week I clean. Probably not enough but we just do what we can do and leave the rest. Our own house has four bedrooms and thankfully a low maintenance garden apart from hedges. With my arthritis I enrolled someone but they started charging too much so invested in a cordless hedge cutter and have to wait for the OH to give me hand with the bits I struggle with. It takes me about three weeks of doing a little and doing a bit more as well as working lol I would love a fence however too expensive and also no where for the birds. We have about the only hedges in the road. We still have young adults at home so not the right time just yet for down sizing but it is always in my mind now.
Morning @SERENA50 we have been mulling over moving for quite a while but ideally I only want one last move if possible. I have no family here other than sister that I no longer speak with. My lovely daughter lives over 200 + miles away she does make efforts to visit as much as she can and stays for 3-4 days. I may end up moving near her at sometime in the future if partner passes first he is several years older and obviously his health is not good. My son doesn't live local either we have contact but it is not often. Partner has a daughter that lives just a few minutes away but barely makes any effort usually just birthdays, father's Day etc and visits are usually brief or sometimes she just drops his gift at the door. Partner also has son but again not local but he does make efforts to visit has lunch with us but stays overnight with his mum. I do have good neighbours but I don't like to bother them but if an emergency am sure they will help as they did last year when I was unwell. I have cordless hedge cutters too because in the past my partner had cut through two electric ones 😱. I don't mind cutting the hedges but it's the time it takes clearing up all the bits afterwards. The garden vacuum machine is heavy so last time I swept it all up took me ages. I have suffered from sciatica around 3-4 times so am mindful of my back. I've been left with some numbness in my right foot/ leg from a bad attack of sciatica a few years ago. All my joints are generally sore and ache at the moment. I'm not sure that it's arthritis but I do have a borderline underactive thryroid so think that my discomfort may be connected to that. I understand how painful your arthritis must be am so sorry your joints are painful you are still young but pain doesn't help how you feel on day to day basis.. I used to take my partner to a barbers in town using his wheelchair to push him down the highstreet but I've been doing his hair with electric clippers now since the pandemic. Partner is not concerned about going back to the barbers so another job on my list albeit not often and he's not much hair left now anyway 😊. Take care @Wildflowerlady
 
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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,877
0
Southampton
💕 Bet you are totally exhausted. I am no spring chicken early fifties but with arthritis in my knees and other bits of me so some days I am okay others not okay. Dad's cleaner is fortnightly, the alternate week I clean. Probably not enough but we just do what we can do and leave the rest. Our own house has four bedrooms and thankfully a low maintenance garden apart from hedges. With my arthritis I enrolled someone but they started charging too much so invested in a cordless hedge cutter and have to wait for the OH to give me hand with the bits I struggle with. It takes me about three weeks of doing a little and doing a bit more as well as working lol I would love a fence however too expensive and also no where for the birds. We have about the only hedges in the road. We still have young adults at home so not the right time just yet for down sizing but it is always in my mind now.
are the young adults old enough to cut the hedge etc themselves. my grandson whose 16 cuts the grass, trims the hedge, helps my son decorate and anything else that needs doing. i cant do the garden due to arthritis and a chronic pain condition. i wondered if you could teach them. im 55 now and they have had to do it for 2 years now
 

SERENA50

Registered User
Jan 17, 2018
137
0
are the young adults old enough to cut the hedge etc themselves. my grandson whose 16 cuts the grass, trims the hedge, helps my son decorate and anything else that needs doing. i cant do the garden due to arthritis and a chronic pain condition. i wondered if you could teach them. im 55 now and they have had to do it for 2 years now
No not really as my son lives away at Uni most of the time although in the holidays as he is sooo tall he has helped me on a few occasions and our daughter works full time. When I say we have young adults at home, we do and we don't lol ...💕 feels little bit like a B and B but then I suspect I was probably just the same when I was their age 😊