Why do sufferers always think we are stealing from them

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Harley, Apr 21, 2007.

  1. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    Thanks for clearing that up Just
    misunderstood, easerly done on this xx
  2. Carolann

    Carolann Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    Changing the subject slightly, my Mum never accused us of stealing but got really angry with us when we did not recognise the people she thought she recognised of TV. For example Lorraine Kelly GMTV used to work in our local Fish and Chip Shop!!! - Ken Barlow Coronation Street was a Bus Conductor!!! - the list was endless. At first we used to argue with Mum, but we learned, as you do, that it was just best to agree with her, as there was no harm done and yes, we did laugh.
    I miss her!.
    Take Care,
  3. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Retailers use the same machines for credit AND debit cards, so they all need PINS. Unless you have a chip and signature card of course. I am not sure whether chip and signature cards are available on both credit and debit cards.
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I'm wondering if Maggie has come across cards like mine: non-uk issued credit cards. These don't have chips or necessarily pins. However, I couldn't use my non-uk debit card at a point of sale, because it does need a pin, but the UK machines don't have the ability to deal with a non-chip card that needs a pin. I can use that in an ATM but that's it. I suspect that every non-uk debit card is the same, hence anyone working in a store would never come across a non-uk debit card, only a non-uk credit card. Does that make sense?
  5. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    so do you mean that you can use your non-uk credit card in a UK store without a pin? :confused:
  6. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    Oh yes! Just as well really (although my DH probably wouldn't agree) :D The one downside is that, for the most part, those hand-held readers they use now in restaurants can't deal with this type of card, which means it gets carried off to the nether regions. I think that's how I ended up with someone trying to charge $371 worth of easyjet flights last time I was over!
  7. Netty

    Netty Registered User

    Feb 24, 2007
    South Wales
    Sorry folks, but I'm another sitting here laughing!

    I could have written this thread myself! So glad I have found this forum!
    I thought I was the only one who tried unsuccessfully to "shussh" my mother up when she came out with her not so polite remarks about peoples size, looks, colour etc.

    During our last visit to the Cons, she said VERY loudly: "When I look as bad as THEM, you can tell me there is something wrong with me" about a lady and her daughter sitting about 6 feet away from us. I only hope that the daughter understood what was going on, as I presume she was there for the same reason as us.

    As for the stealing. We had a particularly nasty incident recently when she thought some delivery men had stolen some scissors from her. By the end of the week it had progressed to money, a jewelery box, some ornaments and the one chap sitting talking to her to distract her while the other had gone through her stuff. We were pretty certain that this had not happened, but things got pretty hairy when she reported the men to the catalogue firm and they telephoned me to find out what had gone on. She was so convincing that even I was beginning to think someone had actually gone there and done this.

    Around the same time, she needed to give a "water sample" (sorry if this is tmi!). I had left a sample bottle in the bathroom for her & said I'd go back the following morning to pick it up and take it to the doctors. Anyway, had to drop everything that morning to take the dog to the vets and dashed off to college after it, as I didn't have time to stop I asked my sister to pop down and sort it out. In the middle of my lecture, my sister rings. My mother was up in arms as she had got up to do the sample and the bottle wasn't there & I had taken it. As if I'd sneak into the house, take the (empty) bottle and sneak out again without even saying Hello to her! The bottle turned up in the living room. Now who put it there I wonder?!

    On a different theme, do any of you have problems with them hoarding stuff? My Mum bless her is hanging onto every "treasure" (bit of tat more like) as if her life depended on it. Its as if she has reverted back to when she was little and had to make the most of everything they had, as they had so little. We are ploughing ahead with getting her to move up with us within the next few weeks, but to try and get through to her that we just don't have the room for all that stuff (20+ year old tins of paint, old broken flasks etc etc etc) is impossible! Short of just bunging things out regardless, anyone got any tips?

  8. DaisyG

    DaisyG Registered User

    Feb 20, 2006
    North West England
    Stealing things.....

    I've been accused of stealing things for a good year ++ now.
    There have been times when I have laughed and cried over this.

    The stealing accusations have developed into aggression, so now things have been A LOT more difficult.

    Crazy :rolleyes: things I have been accused of stealing...

    The 4th draw from a fitted wardrobe - he knows what was in that draw too !
    The 2nd pocket from his shirts !
    The bottom 5 or so inches from the tail of his shirts - as before they came down to his knees!
    Teaspoons :confused: ? why....

    My husband, when a lot more mobile was hoarding tissues and toilet rolls.
    Reams of the them stuffed in pockets, side of couch etc....
    Not quite as bad now less mobile....
    Oh, and NEWSPAPERS !!

    He also has the LOUD (what are you ssshhhuuuusshhing me for?) voice.
    And comments on other peoples appearance like no other.
    People on TV, in the street, out-patients, anywhere inappropriate.
    He also thinks I'm AT LEAST 2 stone overweight.
    I'm a size 8.

    MONEY is a real problem ... in that he believes I've been stealing from him for a long time.
    He is always saying that he is going to report me to the authorities and or the Police.

    It really HURTS me, as it is the EXACT opposite of what I am.

    He believes I have spent all this money on make-up, high fashion, handbags and shoes !!
    If any of you could see me... you would laugh.

    A New Thing...
    He is CONVINCED that I have inherited a HUGE sum of money from an uncle in New York. ... (No money or uncle in NY).......

    'WE' have now bought an apartment in NY, and flew there on our 'private jet' to view this !!
    The story gets bigger each day... and changes depending on who he is telling the tale to.
    We are getting the bathroom adapted by Peter the plumber......

    He has even given the address of this NON apartment to his brother, so he can stay with us if he so wishes.

    The incredible detail he has ia AMAZING.
    But also very very sad, as it is all 'made up'.

    Not only that, he thinks that thereis enough money left over to buy an apartment in Dubai.
    You know, that fancy Island that all the FOOTBALLERS have bought a home on.

    I wish I could reason with him, but this WENT long ago.

    The stealing thing upsets me a lot, and i would love to know how not to let it bother me as much.

    Take Care.

  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Whether it`s stealing or throwing away precious possessions, these accusations are very difficult for me to cope with.

    I haven`t yet been accused of stealing, but whenever he can`t find something, whereas once he would ask me to help him look for it, he now says `I can`t believe you`ve thrown [such and such] away. How could you.`


    And if I can`t find it? Well I`ll leave that to your imagination.

    So far I`ve managed to find all the things I`ve `thrown away`, but I`m not looking forwards to the time I don`t.
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    I'm afraid I've just 'lost' John's deodorant!

    It's a rub-on one that his son bought him, supposed to be good for his brain!!!!:eek:

    It was bad enough that he started rubbing it into his face, but when he started using it on his hair, it just had to 'disappear'.
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Do they still make eau de Cologne sticks? They would be good for his brain. Good idea Hazel, If they are still made, I`ll get one for Dhiren.
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Watch out for greasy hair!!!!!!!!:D
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Well he insists on having a tin of sardines every day for his brain, so I`m sure with Cologne, the smell will be better.
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Just a bit of fun. :eek:
  16. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Next door's auntie used to burn her pension or tear it up and throw the bits down the loo, then accuse the children of stealing it.
  17. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Hazel, oh my goodness, rubbing the deodorant on his head. Another one for the books.:D :D :D
  18. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    At least he smelled fresh!:) :)
  19. clymout

    clymout Registered User

    Jan 10, 2007

    Oh how I can identify with the biscuit story. Mum is affectionately known as the chocolate monster in our house and all the kids goodies have to be hidden in a different cupboard every week. I find half eaten chocolate bars and biscuits in all kinds of wierd and wonderful places. Today I came home to find she had been sharing chocolate chip cookies with the cats and their water bowl was full of crumbled up soggy cookies! Of course, she knew nothing about it - it must have been Father Christmas!


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