thankyou for your support i dont know if its me or just worry i feel so trapped we have no social life at all now maybe its resentment as i am stuck in the house most days except one day a week when mum goes to a club for people with memory loss it nomally takes her a couple of days to settle back down but not as long as this my sister has just moved house so she up to her eyes in it and my other sister lives abroad and my brother works all hours so he cant help feel like it all on my shoulders i am the youngest of the family and people tell me it all ways falls on one and they are so right i have looked after my mum since my dad died some years back so i was the obvious choice when she started losing her memory for her to go live with it fine for them they can walk from it all i cant neither can my husband who also cares for me as i have rhumitoid arthrites and have some really bad days myself when i cant even move with out pain sorry for going on but cant see my life getting any better at the moment
I really understand how you feel. My sister is no help at all. All she says is, oh well 'put him in a home'.
I have always had a habit of making choices that are right for others, even if they are not necessarily right for me. I guess I can't help it.
I don't resent the situation I am in, but I do wish I had a 'normal' life.
I want to return to work (next week) as I love my job, and yes, I love the money I earn too, but am panicking I will feel so guilty about abandoning Dad to day care 3 times a week that I will quit. We lost my Mum three and a half weeks ago and so Dad has never really had to be on his own (they have lived with us for 5 years). I've made arrangements to work a day a week at home and so has my husband (we have great employers) but, it's these 3 days Dad will be alone that are eating me up inside.
I love my Dad so much, I just wish my Mum hadn't died. Everything up until then was great; I had my Mum and Dad living here, my kids, my husband, and a job that is challenging and fulfilling (I work in the charitable sector).
I think one of the worst thing is not knowing how bad Dad will actually end up, and what timescales we are looking at before a deterioration happens.
So... as I'm in the throes of grieving for my Mum.. and under extreme stress making choices for my Dad.... can I join you down there is that low point?
Beverley x