my mother is in this early/middle in/out phase
I just found this forum, and am so glad! I am sitting here at home, in Austin, Texas, waiting for a social worker [who is late!]. My mother came to live with us last November: she was released from the VA hospital with a recommendation for nursing home care, and I just couldn't do it, couldn't put her there.
So, here she is, and I'm fearing for my own mental health, my own ability to keep up with it all, and still continue earning an income! And last Friday, she apparently called the police, and there was a big to-do, during which she said she didn't feel safe with me here. So, Adult Protective Services was called, and that's who is supposed to be here [10 minutes ago].
about 15 minutes ago, Mom had been talking on the phone with her sister, who mentioned the social worker visit. Mom came and asked me about it, and I reminded her how it came about that she is visiting. [I've mentioned the visit several times this week ...sometimes she keeps things in memory and sometimes not]
Mom asked why I hadn't told her the social worker was coming over. When I said I had told her, but maybe she forgot, she got mad, shot me that mean look, and said sarcastically, "Well, isn't that always a good excuse, Ruth, that I forgot."
and I end up sobbing, trying to keep her from hearing, because I don't know what to say. what can I say in a situation like this, when she's accusing me of not telling her something. of course, I do tell her, and of course she forgets, but she totally denies the diagnosis, and its really not fair to her to try and get her to believe it. but it hurts me too much, more than it should, I know. I'm having a hard time letting these comments of hers go. Of course, I'm the brunt of all her anger and resentment.
I think I will be able to get some good help and feedback from these forums. thank you all for participating and sharing.
Best regards,
Ruth Rinehart