Why do care home use such ridiculous cutlery?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Frantic, Sep 9, 2018.

  1. Frantic

    Frantic New member

    Aug 17, 2018
    7
    Why do all the care homes that I have seen use such large and extravagant cutlery which none of the people I have seen with advanced dementia can use?
    In fact I wouldn't like to use it myself.
    I have resorted to leaving a child's fork in my wife's room that I give her whenever I am with her at meal times.
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,812
    Female
    South coast
    Im afraid i dont know what sort you mean. Mums care home had ordinary cutlery.
    Is it plastic to make sure it cant be used to injure anyone?
     
  3. Frantic

    Frantic New member

    Aug 17, 2018
    7
    Ordinary cutlery, but very large and ornate. Half as big again as mine at home. The fork tines must be well over 2 inches long. Anyone trying to scoop food sideways gets about 4 times as much food on the fork as they can get in their mouth and so it falls all over the place.
     
  4. pixie2

    pixie2 Registered User

    Jul 21, 2018
    39
    I think they try look posh for inspection
     
  5. Frantic

    Frantic New member

    Aug 17, 2018
    7
    I think you're right! They look posh, but stupid.
    And I'm fed up of finding my wife's clothes messed up because of it.
    And her face messed with food as well.
    Ah well. A minor irritation compared with other problems on this forum.
    And the problems that I've had over the last 2 years, most of which have subsided.
     
  6. YorkshireLass

    YorkshireLass Registered User

    Feb 15, 2017
    201
    Female
    Ilkley
    Hi, have you tried chatting with the staff and asking if your wife can use other cutlery. If necessary you could leave some. My mum is blind and I find the staff try really hard for her to be independent when eating. She has a plate guard and they cut up her food and encourage her to eat. She wears a large floral piece of fabric as a "bib" and they use wipes after she has eaten to clean her face and hands. Sometimes she has food on her when I arrive and so I get the wipes and do the job again. I've found it's not all perfect and sometimes not as I would do myself when I cared for her at home but I had to hand over her care as I just couldn't manage anymore. I know she is as safe as she can be, is well looked after even though her clothes are washed to within an inch of their life. One of my gripes but I haven't been able to change it so I buy acrylic!!
     
  7. Frantic

    Frantic New member

    Aug 17, 2018
    7
    Yes, I have talked to staff, and manager, and as always some staff are brilliant and some are not.
    She has the plate and beakers that I used at home and if the food is cut up very small can clear a plate without mess if given a small fork. Everything you have experienced I have the same. Unfortunately in life there are the good, the bad and the indifferent in all walks of life.
    I just don't understand why care homes think they look good with extravagant cutlery which is not fit for purpose.
     
  8. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,442
    Kent
    In dad's NH they had ordinary sized cutlery which in moderate stage he mostly managed himself but often he used a spoon as he lost understanding of what a knife and fork was for. In later stages the staff fed him so it didn't matter so long as he ate. Perhaps put something in her care plan if it is causing her difficulty and that for her dignity etc her mouth is wiped and a bib used and discuss again that all staff on all shifts are made aware. There is nearly always something that a resident or carer would not have done or liked or a way of doing something in their home with their primary carer I found which changes in a care home.
     
  9. Frantic

    Frantic New member

    Aug 17, 2018
    7
    Indeed.
    Night staff have always annoyed me by knowing nothing and saying they have only just come on.
    The better ones immediately go to find out what I need to know.
    But the better ones soon leave as they realise that the system doesn't allow them time to do the job properly.
     
  10. YorkshireLass

    YorkshireLass Registered User

    Feb 15, 2017
    201
    Female
    Ilkley
    I'm grateful that several of the staff at mum's care home have been there over ten years and the manager was a carer in her early days. Other staff are young folk who amaze me by their kindness and professionalism. Admittedly some new staff come but aren't there after the three month trial period. It's not for them. The night staff give a verbal handover to the early day shift if there have been any problems. All records of eating, sleeping, medication, bathing etc are on their computer system and if I'm not greeted with an update when I visit I ask when they seem to be not busy. If the response is "I've only just come on" it's usually followed by "I'll ask...(another member of staff).." or they look on the computer record. I feel very fortunate for mum to be cared for here. As I said before it's not perfect, she has fallen several times which might not have happened when I was by her side 24/7 but I feel it's as good as it can be considering it's impossible for someone to be sitting beside her all the time. I attempted it but after many months had to find an alternative.
     
  11. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    984
    Female
    Lincoln, UK
    Apart from a few "blips" I can't complain about the care Mum has received during her 2.5 years in her NH. She has always been treated with kindness and respect. Some staff are better than others admittedly and it's certainly not a job for everyone. Extremely hard work for poor pay. I have a good relationship with the staff and treat them all the same and as I would wish to be treated. It doesn't matter to me whether you are a senior nurse or cleaner - you are all doing a valuable job. On rare occasions I have had to bring up concerns, they've been dealt with quickly. I guess it helps that even though her condition has inevitably deteriorated, she has remained polite and grateful for help. The staff are very fond of her which is a great comfort to me. All in all my brother and I remain very grateful for the care our precious Mum receives. I appreciate there are some bad Homes out there but I would say we have been fortunate with mum's placement.
     

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