I often write on here and at the moment I am feeling terrible grief and also guilt. What I feel so upset about at the moment is that the day my Mum was sectioned into hospital, she was supposed to be coming and staying with me for the night and she was so excited. I cannot stop thinking about this and feeling so sad and guilt-ridden as I knew the services were coming out to see her that day (although I didn't know it would result in her being sectioned). However since she was hospitalised and been in a care home ever since, she seems to be so much more advanced. Do you think I was denying the stage she was at to myself (as I coped alone for many many years) or do you think the process of going into hospital and thereafter the care home has speeded up the disease? I am going round in circles and feel that I should have done more, or taken her home after the sectioning/assessment and kept her at home with carers. Grief is a horrible phenomenon and mine is doubled I think because my father died just as Mum was diagnosed three years ago and I haven't been able to grieve, I don't know how I've functioned to be truthful, I've just kept going somehow with my daughter and university my degree and all other things. My dad and mum weren't together but it's all just hitting me I think. Can that happen too? I feel a bit weak after all the strong years.