Who to contact first when you feel you have reached crisis point?

[Helen10]

Some slow progress. No communication at all from social services but have heard from mum’s nurse and they are reconsidering mum at a home she was rejected from. I don’t think it will be a quick process. Am expecting it to take around a month, assuming they do reconsider her.

If I don’t hear from SW tomorrow, I will be escalating to MP.

Meanwhile, mum has spent the last week pretty much non-stop sobbing her heart out, despite my best attempts to keep her spirits up.

This is absolutely soul destroying. Poor mum ?. Feeling helpless.
Hx

 

[Lorna44]

You are doing brilliantly and are doing the best you can. Keep up the fight. Big hugs x

 

[Helen10]

You are doing brilliantly and are doing the best you can. Keep up the fight. Big hugs x

Thanks @Lorna44 -today is a new day so let’s see what it brings.
Hx

 

[Frank24]

Some slow progress. No communication at all from social services but have heard from mum’s nurse and they are reconsidering mum at a home she was rejected from. I don’t think it will be a quick process. Am expecting it to take around a month, assuming they do reconsider her.

If I don’t hear from SW tomorrow, I will be escalating to MP.

Meanwhile, mum has spent the last week pretty much non-stop sobbing her heart out, despite my best attempts to keep her spirits up.

This is absolutely soul destroying. Poor mum ?. Feeling helpless.
Hx

Oh Helen, hang on in there. It is soul destroying your right. Remember your doing your best. Very hard I know. ❤️?

 

[Helen10]

It has been several months since I posted on here and thought I should post an update.
Mum was accepted on a home that she had previously been rejected from and moved in after Easter. The staff are lovely and they are ‘coping’ with mum. That is the word they use to describe the situation. Unfortunately, the only other option is heavy sedation for mum which isn’t something anyone wants. Whilst they are coping with mums aggression and tears, we continue on. If they decide they can’t cope, we will have to tackle that hurdle when we get to it.

mum has declined significantly over the last few months and whilst she is physically quite strong, she is mentally not there any more.

it is so sad to see a previously strong woman decline in such a way. Dementia is a cruel cruel disease. I have recently suffered with covid and was quite ill with it (despite two vaccinations). It’s the first time I’ve been ill in recent years and not been able to rely on mum to drop of shopping, leave chicken soup on the doorstep or just be on the end of the phone for reassuring words.

I continue to read others posting on here and be amazed by their strength and resilience. I am so glad I found this forum. You gave me the strength to realise that I couldn’t continue to cope alone with mum and dad and two kids and a job.

Thank you
Hx

 

[Sarasa]

Thanks for the update @Helen10, I was wondering how you were doing. Glad the home are coping with you mum. My mother's care home had quite a time of it with my mum when she first moved there. She tried to escape quite a few times, and also started several inappropriate relationships with male residents. A move of floors and a lovely male carer that she's bonded with have helped a lot, as has unfortunately the progression of the disease. She is now much calmer, but is no longer really my mother, but a very confused old lady.
Sorry you've been ill, and I can well imagine how much you miss your mum. My mum was always far more concerned about her needs than mine, so I don't miss being mothered as such, but I do miss they funny, feisty woman I could go to the theatre with and discuss books and politics.
I hope your dad is accepting of the situation, as I know he was trying very hard to keep your mum at home.