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Who to contact first when you feel you have reached crisis point?

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
How does the SW think it will go in the same place ? Did she have any suggestions ? Maybe just maybe this time it may be different and Mum may have moved on a bit , I would ask more questions and not rule it out completely . Hope your dr gets back to you soon and has some helpful suggestions . Be gentle with yourself , it is a very distressing situation and you are doing your very best . 🤗
 

Helen10

Registered User
Jan 22, 2021
98
0
Dad also in tears. He can hardly speak about it. He has just said he is worried that the shock of her going back into the same home may well kill her. Am I divulging you much on here? I’m so sorry everyone x
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,791
0
Southampton
please stop apologizing. you have nothing to be sorry for. its good that you are comfortable in sharing so much if it helps. you will get so much support here. take it all and take care o0f yourself. hope help will be coming soon when you really need it.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
I’m sure it won’t , can understand his fears though , could you speak to the manager of the home ? Speak to the dementia helpline again ? Admiral Nurse ? CQC ? I’m not sure, I am just throwing things out here for you to consider or ignore . Could you get in touch work mental health team ? Navigator ? Please don’t apologise as @jennifer1967 says you have no need to , it’s a caring sharing forum .
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,417
0
This is a safe space where you can share. It may be worth considering that care home to give you all some breathing space. If not, perhaps you can tweak your mum’s medication a little with her doctor’s approval until another care home is able to take her, if it seems a better choice. Whatever else goes on, do try to look after yourself too and don’t hesitate to contact emergency numbers if you need to. That is what they are for:

 
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Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,932
0
I'm glad you've spoken to people about getting more help, and that some is coming very soon. The fact that the care home she was in last year have agreed to take her again should mean that they think they can cope. At least once she is there your mum can be assessed to see if there is somewhere that might be more suitable.
This is a safe place, and you are among people who understand.
 

Helen10

Registered User
Jan 22, 2021
98
0
Thank you everyone-too many people have messaged for me to @ everyone. I feel like I have spent most of the day on the phone. Have spoken to helpline, social worker, mum’s nurse, my doctor. It has been a very overwhelming day.

I am sure I will be reaching out for help and support over the weekend and beyond. Hugs very much needed.

Am overwhelmed with the support I have received from you all and really don’t feel I deserve it. I still feel like I have failed. I guess that feeling won’t change overnight. I’m also trying to tell myself I do deserve your care and love and virtual hugs. Again that’s not something that comes easily to me.

This disease is cruel. What it does to the individual and the family is cruel. This is no life for any of us.
Hxx
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,231
0
Yorkshire
hi @Helen10
as we are all anonymous here, each of us is able to choose how much to share, and sometimes it is just such a relief to tell it like it is to folk who understand and don't judge

may I suggest that you accept the placement offered because right now you need a break and your mum needs to be where a team of carers can look after her
I appreciate it's not easy on your dad or you, and I understand your dad's concerns ... however, I wonder whether your mum will remember (certainly do not tell her) and it is extremely unlikely that the move will have that extreme effect ... really, that's a way of your dad voicing his worry and fear for his wife and grief over being separated from her

maybe think of some things you can send with your mum that may be of comfort to her, some of her favourite possessions (nothing with eg glass, or of financial value) and you and your dad can write cards for her to open each day
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,487
0
South East
You can have all the virtual hugs you can handle 🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Please do keep posting and taking the support, strength and advice on offer , we are here to help each other anyway we can , one day it might be you offering that helping hand to someone else in need . I’m sure it has been a hard emotional day , hope you can get some sleep tonight . X
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,791
0
Southampton
you can have hugs from me too 🤗 🤗 🤗🤗🤗😊;) and a couple to make you smile. we will be here at the weekend as well. you deserve them all for being the best daughter trying to care for your mum. take the break when it comes, hopefully soon. a whole team will look after her. you need to look after yourself
 

doodle1

Registered User
May 11, 2012
253
0
Hi Helen
I’m14 years into dementia world both parents and carer breakdown to add to the mix.
I’m reading your posts and wondering why no one has suggested any form of medical prescription ,Not a chemical cosh but an anxiety reliever and a mood lifter.
Chat to your gp and do not be fobbed with the ‘I need to talk to mental health ‘ guff. He can prescribe.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,932
0
Hi @Helen10 , I hope you managed to contact someone last night to talk through your feelings and that you are feeling, maybe, a little better this morning.
 

Helen10

Registered User
Jan 22, 2021
98
0
@Sarasa -thank you, yes and I managed a few hours sleep. Today is filled with cleaning, cooking, washing, bed changing, food shopping alongside keeping mum in check. Am hoping mum stays calm and I get all of the chores done to keep my mind off things. X
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,791
0
Southampton
@Sarasa -thank you, yes and I managed a few hours sleep. Today is filled with cleaning, cooking, washing, bed changing, food shopping alongside keeping mum in check. Am hoping mum stays calm and I get all of the chores done to keep my mind off things. X
hello, dont try and do too much and let it overwhelm you. if i got half of that done, id be happy.
 

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