Who me, depressed? A long howl of self-pity.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Alicenutter, Feb 1, 2016.

  1. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    560
    Massachusetts USA
    Hello all. Today is one of those days where I just feel like I can't be bothered. I'm fed up with my husband, fed up being told I'm not me, fed up with being politely asked to leave the house so his wife can come home, fed up with spending all day with him, fed up with arguments (he NEVER thinks I'm somebody else when we're having an argument, and he is sometimes the same bad-tempered, domineering man I've always known that he can be), fed up with waiting for the GP to ring and do something. There is no way here in the US I can call and speak to the doctor directly, which I could only do when I'm out of the house anyway, which I hardly ever can be. Or when he's out of the house, which is even rarer.

    I should feel blessed. Our son was here over the weekend, and was wonderful to be with. His dad enjoyed his company, I enjoyed his company, we enjoyed his company together, but now he's gone again. And it's up to me to carry on with struggling towards a diagnosis, trying to help my husband with his business, trying to manage our business, which is not here but in France, trying to negotiate a health system here which I don't understand and which is quite alien to me.

    And I know I'm not having to deal with half of what you others are having to deal with. I'm looking for the silver lining, and today it's all grey.

    Sorry about the self-pitying rant, but it's ok to do that here, isn't it?
     
  2. chris53

    chris53 Registered User

    Nov 9, 2009
    2,929
    London
    Hi Alice, that's what we are here for..rant away whenever needed:)️sorry you have had a bad day, it sometimes hits you like that like a sledgehammer and you just feel like running away..but then tomorrow is another day in dementia land and we hope it's not sooo challenging,I hope tomorrow is more silver then grey...sending a big cyber hug
    Chris x
     
  3. theunknown

    theunknown Registered User

    Apr 17, 2015
    325
    You're having to deal with too much Alice. Of course you're struggling to cope. Allow yourself some slack. I hope things look a bit more do-able tomorrow.
     
  4. arielsmelody

    arielsmelody Registered User

    Jul 16, 2015
    514
    Hi Alice
    I've seen your posts a few times and it really seems that you've got too much to cope with and you need to be able to find a bit of time for yourself. Would it be better if you can sell one of your businesses, or at least get a manager or someone in to give you more help? It would be better to try to make a change now, rather than waiting for a crisis, which sounds as if it's not far away. Good luck with everything - things sound very tough for you at the moment.
     
  5. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    560
    Massachusetts USA
    You're absolutely right about selling the business, at least the one in France. And believe me, I would do that like a shot. But…we're joint owners, and it's a real estate based business (a b&b/inn) and it's not going to happen overnight. But yes, we have people to help, and that's part of the managing that I was talking about…I think I'm quite realistic, and know that I can't cope 'all on my own', but given that this situation has come on quite rapidly (only a month since the 'impostor-wife' put in an appearance) I'm doing what I can to gather support around me. And i have some - friends, a nephew, our children. And you lot!
     
  6. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    560
    Massachusetts USA

    Thank you.
     
  7. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Oh Alice, what a lousy time you're having. :( Of course it's fine to rant here, and you'll always find folk who are ready to listen. Your son being with you must have been like a bright ray of sunshine, in your lives, and so nice to be able to share your load.

    As others have said, your plate looks rather full, so perhaps you can make a bit of room on it. You certainly need some hep and some "me" time, and I sincerely hope you get it. xxx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.