Who looks after the carer

[lilypat]

Much better than yesterday. Felt a bit drained this morning after yesterday. Went out for lunch with OH sister and he was unsettled when we got back but settled him down with some colouring which did the trick. Our daughter rang tonight to see if we would like a run out to chatsworth in the morning for coffee and cake so looking forward to that..Are you feeling any better-hope so

@Jackimags
Oh that's nice a trip out plus cake enjoy.
I am feeling a lot better ta .
Nothing much happening here a walk to get some fresh air .
I have started a diary again feels nice to unload and to make notes on how OH is and who helps etc

 

[Maryland]

I have woken with a bad head cold and feel really sorry for myself. It got me thinking as a carer I need to keep well as OH needs me to be ok . We are about in the middle of our trip down the road of FTD and so I am able to go lay down for a few hours . But how will I cope when he will want me 24/7 .
I now understand why the doctors are always asking me if I am ok at our appointment.
Well I had a hot shower and gave myself a good talking to in the mirror.
Did not cure my cold but I do look a bit more human for now .

Hi lilypat - I have just rang SS to arrange and assessment in myself as I applied for an emergency card in case anything happened to me and they come and take all the details of someone that they could contact if I wasn’t available to look after my OH. THey said they would assess us both but they make sure everything in place in case something happened.
I asked myOH who he would ring if I dropped down dead and he said he would go home to a village he hasn’t lived in for 55 years !!! he didn’t know what no to ring or whatever he was or where he lives, I like you I just got up made myself a cup of tea and kept going back to bed. No good feeling sorry for yourself you just get on with it !! Take care hope you feeling a bit better. I find a walk round the garden and a good rant makes me feel better. The only thing is my OH shuts all the internal doors as he says the neighbours will hear ! LOL x we have no neighbours as the houses in both sides are empty, Oh well tomorrow is another day must go just been told it was time I went to bed - he thinks he’s my dad reincarnated!!!

 

[Maryland]

Totally agree - the carer has to look after the carer, no matter how helpful close friends and family are.
Recently, my next door neighbour - in her 80's- pressed her alarm button and an ambulance car turned up in due course - but could not gain access to her house, because no one knew the number for her key safe on the wall. She has no family. The ambulance man was going to call the fire brigade to get in,when we eventually discovered the number for the key - it had taken just short on one hour - which could have been critical.

The other night, going to bed, I thought, if I had a heart attack and was able to call 999 how would they get in as my OH with dementia insists on locking everything, doors, windows etc. We don't share a room and he would not notice if I was ill - has previous for this....

I am still thinking about the answer to this problem....

Hi Maryjoan was just reading your note about your husband locking all doors windows etc, my husband is same as he puts chains on doors . I usually put the alarm on at night and make sure the chain is off front door and I know there is a key safe outside, but as you said n one know number, I mentioned this to my carers staff and they said don’t worry if you have a fire etc, the police fire brigade etc, will easily get in quick. They have ways and means, my husband starts locking blinds etc at 5 pm does your head in. I have said he can’t shut blinds now till 7pm and next week when the clocks go forward it’s 8 pm. Take care

 

[lilypat]

Hi lilypat - I have just rang SS to arrange and assessment in myself as I applied for an emergency card in case anything happened to me and they come and take all the details of someone that they could contact if I wasn’t available to look after my OH. THey said they would assess us both but they make sure everything in place in case something happened.
I asked myOH who he would ring if I dropped down dead and he said he would go home to a village he hasn’t lived in for 55 years !!! he didn’t know what no to ring or whatever he was or where he lives, I like you I just got up made myself a cup of tea and kept going back to bed. No good feeling sorry for yourself you just get on with it !! Take care hope you feeling a bit better. I find a walk round the garden and a good rant makes me feel better. The only thing is my OH shuts all the internal doors as he says the neighbours will hear ! LOL x we have no neighbours as the houses in both sides are empty, Oh well tomorrow is another day must go just been told it was time I went to bed - he thinks he’s my dad reincarnated!!!

Morning, thanks yes I am now feeling a lot better .my OH keeps saying no more people. I think he us referring to the fact that we have had memory people. The age UK people in etc .he is a very private person.
Our garage has never been so tidy ! It's my place to go to let off steam .I bang about a bit and always feel better . We just have to get up and get on with it .

 

[Maryland]

Morning, thanks yes I am now feeling a lot better .my OH keeps saying no more people. I think he us referring to the fact that we have had memory people. The age UK people in etc .he is a very private person.
Our garage has never been so tidy ! It's my place to go to let off steam .I bang about a bit and always feel better . We just have to get up and get on with it .

Hi lilypat - you feeling better now. I had a carers assessment yesterday and she was brilliant, I feel as though a bit of weight has been lifted off my shoulders, she came to finalise the carers emergency card and took all the details of what I wanted to happen if I had an accident or medical emergency, my son lives in US and my daughter has an autistic son so it was quite difficult what would happen, she even ordered me a number of leaflets and a card he could leave in his pocket if he wanders, she was really good. I just told my husband it was my medical check to make sure I was ok to look after him, he has a social worker coming in Tuesday to assess him. I haven’t told him yet but will just say the same that it is a medication check, he seems as though he accepts that, I think he is living in a little world of his own at the minute. If I need to let off steam I put my coat in and say I am gling to the post box and I am usually back in ten minutes anyway. . You take care x

 

[lilypat]

Hi Maryland
Thanks for your good wishes I am a lot better .I have got a emergency carers card from the local council I filled it in on line giving 2 names and numbers of people that require contacting. I have yet to have a carers assessment .who did yours?

 

[AliceA]

When my husband was first diagnosed I eventually had a Carers Assessment over the phone, then I asked each year. I felt it kept me in the loop and was useful to know about changes in services that are very scant in this area.

Last year I was offered a face to face one, the Council outsourced to the Alzheimer's Society, this was brilliant with follow ups with sourced information. Helen really walked the extra mile.

This last year my own health has deteriorated considerably so I requested a Needs Assessment for both of us. Our case is being dealt with at the moment, the interview was really good and helpful, I have had a follow up phone call pending a possible direct payment to cover the lack in some services. I will wait for the bird in the hand but I was surprised at some some suggestions.

I feel asking for a joint assessment is useful all round, whether self funding or not.
In the case of couples the funds are not accessible if most are tied in the home needed for the Carer. So what funds are more fluid would not last long.
There will be a financial assessment for my husband but NOT fo me. I think this will give a warning to the Council that funds will not last for long at carehome fees in the area.
The Council is desperate to keep us at home and they are well aware that this depends on my health and ability entirely.

More importantly I needed plans for different scenarios if I am 'unavailable' in any capacity.
Our daughter said I had 'better be'!!!
However I have shown her again where various important files are. Where the DNR is etc.
Most things are on Direct Debits apart from anything that could lapse without harm.

Must try and sleep again, I was awoken at three but a lovely man wanting to start the day!
He seems to have settled so sleep tight everyone!