Here we go again, the start of another sleepless night, Why? Who knows?
Maybe its guilt, confussion, doubts, sadness or just a need to try to sort my head out! (not an easy task)
What is it that keeps drawing me to this site? Comfort, company, empathy or just knowing that others might know how i feel?
What is it that keeps me going to the hospital twice a day? is it guilt, love, a need to know he can't forget me for long if i'm there, maybe its just a need to have my stomach ripped out twice a day, or maybe just a need to know i'll be there to mop the odd tear that sometimes rolls down his cheek, who the hell knows?????????
Why do i have a need to tell him how much i love him, even though he thinks i'm a stranger?
Why do i keep telling him i'm o.k. when i'm not? Maybe its because he still looks like the person who once cared whether i was o.k.
Why do i keep telling him every thing will work out alright in the end? Maybe its because he's still here, but his dreams have gone. Maybe its because he does not seem to care about anything anymore, maybe because he seems empty of feelings and too tired to care.
Why do i want to ask him to forgive me when he can't remember what he's lost?
Who the hell knows?
Why can't i find the words to tell him whats going on in my head? Maybe its because they build up in my throat and choke me, maybe its because he can't understand more than a couple of sentences, maybe its because he thinks i'm just a worker at the hospital, so why burden him?
Why do i sit in my car and cry everytime he tells me to leave? Maybe its because he's not the same man who used to love me more than anything.
Why do i feel so negative about everything? Maybe its because nothing seems to make any sense, maybe its because i don't know what the future holds anymore!
Why do i still hurt as much, when i should know better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does God keep putting HIM through this? Is there a God? I don't know, i don't seem to know the answer to anything anymore, maybe i'm just too tired to care, who knows?
Does any of this make any sense? who the bloody hell cares anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex
Maybe its guilt, confussion, doubts, sadness or just a need to try to sort my head out! (not an easy task)
What is it that keeps drawing me to this site? Comfort, company, empathy or just knowing that others might know how i feel?
What is it that keeps me going to the hospital twice a day? is it guilt, love, a need to know he can't forget me for long if i'm there, maybe its just a need to have my stomach ripped out twice a day, or maybe just a need to know i'll be there to mop the odd tear that sometimes rolls down his cheek, who the hell knows?????????
Why do i have a need to tell him how much i love him, even though he thinks i'm a stranger?
Why do i keep telling him i'm o.k. when i'm not? Maybe its because he still looks like the person who once cared whether i was o.k.
Why do i keep telling him every thing will work out alright in the end? Maybe its because he's still here, but his dreams have gone. Maybe its because he does not seem to care about anything anymore, maybe because he seems empty of feelings and too tired to care.
Why do i want to ask him to forgive me when he can't remember what he's lost?
Who the hell knows?
Why can't i find the words to tell him whats going on in my head? Maybe its because they build up in my throat and choke me, maybe its because he can't understand more than a couple of sentences, maybe its because he thinks i'm just a worker at the hospital, so why burden him?
Why do i sit in my car and cry everytime he tells me to leave? Maybe its because he's not the same man who used to love me more than anything.
Why do i feel so negative about everything? Maybe its because nothing seems to make any sense, maybe its because i don't know what the future holds anymore!
Why do i still hurt as much, when i should know better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why does God keep putting HIM through this? Is there a God? I don't know, i don't seem to know the answer to anything anymore, maybe i'm just too tired to care, who knows?
Does any of this make any sense? who the bloody hell cares anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex