I think we all are finding the same, in different ways but same at the same time.
Skills fall away, the long term memory thinks they are still there. When we first retired we took on an old house and remodelled it. My husband did all the electrics and plumbing.
The former were checked and passed by an electrician who signed it off. I have to be wily to avoid DIY continuing, it would not be completed.
Gradually I have taken over things he did or were shared, I try to preserve his dignity I use the word we as if both have decided or have done something often by saying he has trained me well.
I have to be so specific if I ask him to do anything, often it us easier to just do it.
Slowly I have learned the most reliable of men no longer is. Logic is another country, he is logical but in his own way.
I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to have a break, holiday companions, respite holidays, I have sounded out the family to no avail. Trips out are too difficult.
So I have dropped the idea, if something turns up it will be a bonus.
I spent a lot of time exploring day care but I cannot get transport, I have settled for a new village lunch club run by a charity, the cost is reasonable and the company is understanding.
Though I have to go too.
The walk there depends on the weather.
Like most I get neurotic about falling,
I almost had a scheme set up should I be ill, but think that is not the wisest as it depend on many factors beyond my control.
I have signed up for Crossroads, emergency care that give a few days to allow something to be set up.
I have to trust the universe beyond that!
Notes are in place.
The Arabic saying says, Trust in God but tie your camel!
We are in our eighties, we share 170 plus years. Somehow I did not expect this new career in caring.
But then so much has happened in our lives that was not planned, I have a philosophy that helps me accept the change.
So many have had worse to deal with, so many have had less.
I get lethargic too, then a burst of energy as if suddenly fired up.
Yesterday on You and Yours they spoke about older drivers, re. Prince Phillip. Our volunteer driver the day before was in his 80s. I ended up sending them a rather pithy email. I then contact another organisation then sorted out a faulty order. Then I burnt out! The evening slipped by too tired to do anything.
I think we have to fight the expectations of others but also out own,
Yes, life is tough but I find dwelling on this has no profit. I find keeping calm, dropping things to keep calm, adapting standards to stay calm keeps my husband calm.
Like with babies and animals the language is emotion not words, it is the same now.
My first child taught me that! Our dogs confirmed it.
I do not feel like a servant, what I do has never defined me. I have had good jobs, poor and indifferent ones.
All have taught me something, usually about my own strengths and weaknesses. I can get tired, cranky by the end of the day. Last night I fell asleep sitting up!
I have to trust that what we need will appear at the right time, it has in the past so why not now.
We can do our best at the time but no more.
Just because we all cope and manage does not mean it is easy.
At least on here we understand, xxx
Skills fall away, the long term memory thinks they are still there. When we first retired we took on an old house and remodelled it. My husband did all the electrics and plumbing.
The former were checked and passed by an electrician who signed it off. I have to be wily to avoid DIY continuing, it would not be completed.
Gradually I have taken over things he did or were shared, I try to preserve his dignity I use the word we as if both have decided or have done something often by saying he has trained me well.
I have to be so specific if I ask him to do anything, often it us easier to just do it.
Slowly I have learned the most reliable of men no longer is. Logic is another country, he is logical but in his own way.
I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to have a break, holiday companions, respite holidays, I have sounded out the family to no avail. Trips out are too difficult.
So I have dropped the idea, if something turns up it will be a bonus.
I spent a lot of time exploring day care but I cannot get transport, I have settled for a new village lunch club run by a charity, the cost is reasonable and the company is understanding.
Though I have to go too.
The walk there depends on the weather.
Like most I get neurotic about falling,
I almost had a scheme set up should I be ill, but think that is not the wisest as it depend on many factors beyond my control.
I have signed up for Crossroads, emergency care that give a few days to allow something to be set up.
I have to trust the universe beyond that!
Notes are in place.
The Arabic saying says, Trust in God but tie your camel!
We are in our eighties, we share 170 plus years. Somehow I did not expect this new career in caring.
But then so much has happened in our lives that was not planned, I have a philosophy that helps me accept the change.
So many have had worse to deal with, so many have had less.
I get lethargic too, then a burst of energy as if suddenly fired up.
Yesterday on You and Yours they spoke about older drivers, re. Prince Phillip. Our volunteer driver the day before was in his 80s. I ended up sending them a rather pithy email. I then contact another organisation then sorted out a faulty order. Then I burnt out! The evening slipped by too tired to do anything.
I think we have to fight the expectations of others but also out own,
Yes, life is tough but I find dwelling on this has no profit. I find keeping calm, dropping things to keep calm, adapting standards to stay calm keeps my husband calm.
Like with babies and animals the language is emotion not words, it is the same now.
My first child taught me that! Our dogs confirmed it.
I do not feel like a servant, what I do has never defined me. I have had good jobs, poor and indifferent ones.
All have taught me something, usually about my own strengths and weaknesses. I can get tired, cranky by the end of the day. Last night I fell asleep sitting up!
I have to trust that what we need will appear at the right time, it has in the past so why not now.
We can do our best at the time but no more.
Just because we all cope and manage does not mean it is easy.
At least on here we understand, xxx
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