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Who has stolen my husband?

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
677
I’m so glad Lily has been good for the both of you. Unfortunately cats always do damage at first I’ve got 2 rescue cats and they have ripped carpets and still do sometimes. It’s better in summer as they spend more time outdoors in the garden.

They are very loving and like to sit on our knee.

My OH can be nasty to them depending what mood he is in.
Thank you @Guzelle .... how lovely to have two rescue cats.
To be really honest I don’t worry about any damage. It will take time for Lily to understand what is good and what isn’t. I pick Lily up if she jumps onto the kitchen worktops, but I know as soon as I walk out, she will be up there again! I also know that she may never understand because a loud clap of the hands to attract her, means nothing as she just doesn’t hear anything other than my husbands excruciatingly loud cough!
Sometimes I think I get through to Lily more than I do to my husband!
Although he loves her, he doesn’t understand that Lily can’t hear him when he shouts at her because she has done something he doesn’t think is right.
It’s all a learning curve, for the three of us.
But I am grateful for Lily’s company. She is just so beautiful, full of character, and she has given me something special that I have been losing ....
With love, B xx
 

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
677
Maybe Lilly could do with some toys to distract her from the plants . But forgiveness is maybe easier xx
I can’t be cross with her, she is just to darn cute and beautiful. She makes me smile all the time. Lily has so many toys, but she would much rather have things I would rather she didn’t have!! Bit by bit those things are being put away. Whether they will ever come out again.... who knows, but Lily is still a kitten. And, she looks at me with those eyes, and my heart melts. Love B x
 

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
677
I SO SO ADORE READING ABOUT LILY and the difference she is making. This is such a beautiful adventure darling. I love it. all love and good for you!! Geraldinexxxx
I hope you are ok Geraldine. And I hope Keith is bringing love and smiles to you.

Yesterday Lily had a bit of an upset tummy. So I changed her kitten food, but it didn’t make much difference, so today I’ve cut down on her food. I made the mistake of telling my husband. He has been obsessed with what we could or should do to make her better. It is good to see him so interested and concerned in something besides himself. In fact he told me he loved me today. I can’t tell you the last time that happened. He would say I love you too, if I told him I loved him. But to hear him say it without being prompted was so special.

Lily loves the walk in shower. It fascinates her that she can watch us through the glass. And she spends ages in the wash basin drinking water dripping from the tap. In fact she drinks any unwholesome water she can find. No wonder she has an upset tummy. My husband had got into the habit of sitting in his chair, either watching tv, playing on his iPad or sleeping. He is definitely more aware, less sleeping, and he is putting himself out more. He is very happy to feed Lily. He loves her going to him, and when she curls up under his chair. Lily has made such a difference to him. He gets angry when she doesn’t do as he wants her to. But he only shouts or bangs the table, nether of which she hears so she ignores him! He makes me jump though!

I’m taking everything that Lily has brought to us.... it’s so positive. I know that Lily will grow up and be even more embedded in my life. I know that days will be less positive for my husband as time goes by.

Lily is a treasure. I have been yearning for some love and comfort, and now I have beautiful complex Lily.
With my love, B xx
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,414
I hope you are ok Geraldine. And I hope Keith is bringing love and smiles to you.

Yesterday Lily had a bit of an upset tummy. So I changed her kitten food, but it didn’t make much difference, so today I’ve cut down on her food. I made the mistake of telling my husband. He has been obsessed with what we could or should do to make her better. It is good to see him so interested and concerned in something besides himself. In fact he told me he loved me today. I can’t tell you the last time that happened. He would say I love you too, if I told him I loved him. But to hear him say it without being prompted was so special.

Lily loves the walk in shower. It fascinates her that she can watch us through the glass. And she spends ages in the wash basin drinking water dripping from the tap. In fact she drinks any unwholesome water she can find. No wonder she has an upset tummy. My husband had got into the habit of sitting in his chair, either watching tv, playing on his iPad or sleeping. He is definitely more aware, less sleeping, and he is putting himself out more. He is very happy to feed Lily. He loves her going to him, and when she curls up under his chair. Lily has made such a difference to him. He gets angry when she doesn’t do as he wants her to. But he only shouts or bangs the table, nether of which she hears so she ignores him! He makes me jump though!

I’m taking everything that Lily has brought to us.... it’s so positive. I know that Lily will grow up and be even more embedded in my life. I know that days will be less positive for my husband as time goes by.

Lily is a treasure. I have been yearning for some love and comfort, and now I have beautiful complex Lily.
With my love, B xx
Oh my darling, this is wondrous, it is like reading a book! I am sitting here with an ENORMOUS GRIN of happiness for you and lily.
Gxxxx
 

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
677
I’m sure many of you will think that my Lily posts are silly and possibly insensitive. But Lily has made such a difference in our home in such a short space of time. I had no idea that my husband would respond to this little cat the way he has. He is still impatient and aggressive and I know that my husband still has dementia, that he isn’t going to get better, but Lily has given him something.... almost a sparkle! And I so welcome every smile, every new scrap that he gives Lily and me. And I feel I want to share that.

My Lily story today....
My husband wanted to get Lily a new collar with her details on it. He was really worried, obsessed, in case Lily escaped from our home. When my husband gets something on his mind it has to be sorted yesterday! So off to the large local pet shop the two of us went with Lily in her carrier.
Catching her to put her in the carrier is another story!
Lily was very angry (teeth and claws drawn) when the shop lady tried to fit her new collar. She ended up putting Lily in a big cage and she then lay flat out on the floor trying to hold her still. Lily wasn’t very nice to her, and gave her two very nasty scratches, but eventually the new collar was fitted.
Then the tag was printed.
The assistant tried to put the tag on her posh new collar and ....... yes, Lily escaped from the big cage!! she got out and ran off! She was just a blur of white running like the clappers.
My husband was panicking, but couldn’t do anything because of his very poor mobility and balance.
Luckily the main shop doors were closed and no one came in. The assistant ran and I hobbled after Lily, We cornered her and I managed to grab her (Lily not the assistant) by the scruff of the neck. Very undignified!
I held Lily while the assistant finally fitted the tag and then I popped Lily back in her carrier and we came home.
Lily had her food when we got in and then she curled up on the settee.... exhausted. We had a cup of tea and my husband almost curled up in his chair and went to sleep!

So tomorrow is another day, another experience with Lily.
My husband will still have dementia and the many foibles that go with it. But somehow my life is easier to bear.
I have two that need me now.
And I love them both so much.
Love B xx
 

Guzelle

Registered User
Aug 27, 2016
420
Sheffield
Lily sounds a lovely cat. My OH has never taken to our cats even though he wanted a cat. He never feeds them. He once fed them a teabag and shouted at them for not eating it. They hide from him most of the time. Penny does sometimes sit on his knee when he is sat watching television. He puts up with it for a while.

Before dementia we had a Tom cat for 18 years and he used to feed him and look after him but he was not suffering from dementia then.

I have my lovely grandson to cuddle now aswell. My daughter only lives half an hour drive away so I have seen him often, OH isn’t that bothered he asked what he was to the baby I said he is your grandson!
 

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AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,815
What a lovely positive story, I could picture it too. We visited a carehome where a lady had a very realistic baby to care about. Some 'robot' animals really help people respond, but Lily sounds far more fun. Xxx
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,815
Lily sounds a lovely cat. My OH has never taken to our cats even though he wanted a cat. He never feeds them. He once fed them a teabag and shouted at them for not eating it. They hide from him most of the time. Penny does sometimes sit on his knee when he is sat watching television. He puts up with it for a while.

Before dementia we had a Tom cat for 18 years and he used to feed him and look after him but he was not suffering from dementia then.

I have my lovely grandson to cuddle now aswell. My daughter only lives half an hour drive away so I have seen him often, OH isn’t that bothered he asked what he was to the baby I said he is your grandson!

How beautiful. You must be thrilled, he writes well too! X
 

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
677
Lily sounds a lovely cat. My OH has never taken to our cats even though he wanted a cat. He never feeds them. He once fed them a teabag and shouted at them for not eating it. They hide from him most of the time. Penny does sometimes sit on his knee when he is sat watching television. He puts up with it for a while.

Before dementia we had a Tom cat for 18 years and he used to feed him and look after him but he was not suffering from dementia then.

I have my lovely grandson to cuddle now aswell. My daughter only lives half an hour drive away so I have seen him often, OH isn’t that bothered he asked what he was to the baby I said he is your grandson!
What a gorgeous baby boy he is. I’m so pleased that they live close enough for you to have loads of cuddles.
Take care, love B x
 

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
677
What a lovely positive story, I could picture it too. We visited a carehome where a lady had a very realistic baby to care about. Some 'robot' animals really help people respond, but Lily sounds far more fun. Xxx
Thank you Alice. The centre we had Lily from are in the process of rehousing two older cats into a care home. I think that is so positive.
They also pair autistic children with cats too, with good outcomes.
I hope you are well Alice.
Thinking of you, love B x
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,815
My health is a bit dodgy, hence my efforts to future proof my husband's situation.
I am try to do some online courses, as it is good for me, the debates bring adult conversations and are mind stretching. I am doing another Dementia one but the best are personal to my interests.
I am never sure about cats in care homes not everyone likes them so could be frightening. They can be quick trip people too. Dogs seem a better bet if trained.
Lily certainly seems a good forcus for you two.
Take care, x
 

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