Who has stolen my husband?
- Thread starter Sad Staffs
- Start date
What I thought was lost I found further up on expand.
So back to the drawing board.
I will give up and try again another day!
Really so very pleased for you. What a relief for you. The home sounds very thoughtful, I like the diary idea. A friend's husband had respite and came home singing the praises, in fact said she never cared like the home did.
Fortunately she is very pragmatic and shrugged it off. We actually managed a laugh.
However the main person in this you and your needs to regain health. Look after yourself we are all rooting for you. Xxx
So back to the drawing board.
I will give up and try again another day!
Really so very pleased for you. What a relief for you. The home sounds very thoughtful, I like the diary idea. A friend's husband had respite and came home singing the praises, in fact said she never cared like the home did.
Fortunately she is very pragmatic and shrugged it off. We actually managed a laugh.
However the main person in this you and your needs to regain health. Look after yourself we are all rooting for you. Xxx
Well I replied to reply to member then lost message!
Basically I was saying how so very pleased to hear your news, it must be such a relief. Now is time to start looking after your self and your own health needs. We are all rooting for you, brave lady.
With love Alice x
Basically I was saying how so very pleased to hear your news, it must be such a relief. Now is time to start looking after your self and your own health needs. We are all rooting for you, brave lady.
With love Alice x
Hi Alice
Thank you for your lovely warm messages, and you are right it is such a relief to get it sorted. I forget that I still need to have surgery, I’ve been so obsessed with getting my husbands care confirmed. Now I can think about myself.... not sure I can remember how to do that.
But the care home staff were lovely, I’m really comfortable that he will be ok.
My life at the moment Is like a dream, or should that be nightmare?
Thank you for caring Alice, I really value that.
I do hope you are ok?
Please keep in touch.
Love B xx
@Sad Staffs I am so pleased for you that your efforts have paid off because it was such a very stressful time. I am now starting the process of searching for a respite home myself in case of need. Many of us worry about what will happen if we are sick. I drove straight for two and a half hours yesterday and then had a very sore right leg. It hurt like anything and collapsed under me when I stood up. Trying to get him to do things was gruelling but I needed the help. I took some pain killers and with a hot water bottle, I kept it at bay. It gradually eased in the night, and today it has recovered but it gave me a fright. I think the leg just seized up and I should have taken a break half way home. Anyway he is being so bad with the dementia at the moment that I might need a break anyway.
Thank you Geraldine.... you were so right that it would be sorted. I should have listened to your wise advice.
I hope you are ok and have had a really warm visit with Keith today.
Love B xx
Hi L, thank you... good days? I’m certainly on a high today, it feels like I’ve overdosed on too many jelly babies! I haven’t felt like this for so long.
We carers ask for or expect so little don’t we? That has become obvious to me today. My euphoria is all for my husband, it says something, and if I really think about it it’s quite sad.
It’s lovely to hear from you.
Hope you are ok?
Love B xx
Seeing my son was the icing on today’s cake. It was lovely as I see him so rarely because he has such a complete busy life in Durham.Thats a good result. Enjoy having your son with you
Thank you, take care, love B xx
Glad you have sorted it. My OH is the same as yours being horrible to me and nice to other people. I think it’s because he knows you will always be there so he feel he can take his frustrations out on you. They lack the understanding as to how they upset us so much. My OH cannot understand when I am upset he has forgotten how horrible he is to me!
Thank you for your lovely message.
I hope your search for a care home that you are happy with is successful. I’m proud that I managed to sort it at a time when my life is so chaotic. So if I can, then I’m sure you will too.
I do hope that your leg improves with your tender loving care. Paracetamol and a hot water bottle.... excellent choice. I swear by a hot water bottle for love and comfort!
Do please take care of yourself, we all do too much, but have little alternative. So it’s important that you look after yourself too.
Do keep in touch.
Love B xx
Hi B, I haven’t posted for a while and am so very sorry I haven’t been there for you, it looks like you have been through the mill and had so much to sort out. I’m really glad it has worked out regarding your husband being taken care of while you are in hospital, that must be such a weight lifted off your shoulders and hopefully give you time to think about yourself and concentrate on getting well after your operation. I’ve not been in a great place just recently..... only behind closed doors, you just have to carry on in front of people don’t you, or go under. I’ve given myself a talking to, there are many of you with much more difficulties than I have. Take good care of yourself B, I will try and be a better friend on TP to you and others. The visit from your son, fabulous, I’m so glad you have had a good day, you deserve it. Love and hugs S xx
Hi B, thank you I am ok, some days are worse than others but he is getting worse doesn't make sense most of the time it is impossible to have a conversation sometimes I think it's me that's going mad. I hope your operation goes well and that you've got somebody to look after you afterwards. Love Lxx
Hello @Guzelle
I so understand how you feel. It’s really tough when you see such contradictory actions. My husband does have flashes when I see him as he used to be, but it’s how easily aggressive he becomes, the things he says to me that hurts me, and how he screams and swears for what seems to me to be no reason. But I don’t think he has any idea that he is like that. I think he’s oblivious.
You are right, there is a lack of understanding as to how unkind he is and how it hurts.
Please take care of yourself.
Love B x
Hi @sadstaffs
So pleased you have got that sorted such a load off your mind. I had to smile when you mentioned your oh been very sociable at the care home, I had to get doctor today he’s been in pain overnight with his hernias, doctor arrives and he’s all smiles, yep we certainly get the rough end! Concentrate on getting yourself sorted now ready for hospital, when possible that is. Love S xx
I’m so pleased to hear from you. It’s lovely to talk to you.
Yes, I’m paranoid!! I won’t feel all is safe and sorted until I leave him and his case, and hundreds, no thousands of incontinence pads, at the care home!
It’s funny that we don’t get time or space to think about ourselves, so it’s like my operation isn’t happening. We spend all our time worrying about them, sorting things out for them, caring for their every need and whim, that we forget about ourselves. I have no idea how I will cope being on my own. I dream of having time to myself, but in reality I don’t want him to be away from me. Perhaps it’s me that is a control freak!
I’m so sorry that things have not been good for you. Yes, you do put on a false face for others.
I wish I could be there to sit and have a coffee with you, I’m sure we would both get comfort and support if it were possible. Perhaps one day....
Seeing my son and daughter in law was a real tonic. I love them and miss them, but I make sure they know that they have their own lives. I want them to be happy. I just need to know that they love me... that’s good enough for me.
Take care S, look after yourself please, thinking of you and sending you much love.
Hope to speak to you soon, Barbara xx
Hi S
Yes, sorted, brilliant!
And he never fails to catch me by surprise, often unpleasantly! But not always. So I was taken aback at how he responded to the staff at the care home. It helps that they were brilliant with him. They treated him like he hadn’t got dementia. But he was sociable, I hadn’t seen this side of him for such a long while.
I’m sorry about your OH hernia and pain, I hope the GP was able to help?
Take care of yourself, thinking of you...
Love B xx
I really hear what you say.
Conversations... I’m not sure we have had a proper conversation for, well, I can’t remember. We talk, but it always results in verbal fisticuffs. We never talk things through, mostly he just doesn’t understand, or get what I’m trying to explain, it takes so much effort to get through to him, so I don’t bother most of the time.
But it’s not you, it’s this disease that doesn’t just affect them, it eats away at us. I think we carers are just shells now, tap us and we will crack!
I dont have anyone to take me to hospital, so I will book a taxi. My two cousins are going to bring me home, but they won’t be staying. I will be fine, but it will be very strange being in this house on my own for two weeks. I actually find the thought quite daunting.
Life is tough, and complicated, and confusing. dimentia is designed to keep us on our toes.
Thinking of you and sending love, B xx
