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Who am I ? ( my mum )

MrsTerryN

Registered User
Dec 17, 2012
769
I was wondering if any one had done the life of their loved one for carers ?
Mum is now one of the challenging residents in her nursing home. I want the staff who really are lovely to her to know the original MrsTerryN 's mum. All the fabulous things she did.
I also don't want me to forget or have over ridden the memories of the mum I knew by the mum with dementia and 'challenging behaviours'
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,804
69
Dundee
Not sure what you mean by 'done the life'. Do you mean a memory book? I did one for my own mum and I have one or my husband. Mine are pretty basic but I know a number of people on the forum have done memory books. Creative Sarah has a wonderful website which gives advice on how to make memory books. She is something if an expert! I'm sure she won't mind me posting the link to it here.

http://creativesarah.weebly.com/memory-books.html

Sorry if I've misunderstood what you mean!
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,770
Kent
In addition to a memory book I was asked to write a short life history for Dhiren. I wrote about wher he came from, his family, bothers and sisters, and his early life with me. I also added anecdotes, for instance he went to the prayer meeting where Gnadhi was assassinated .

These notes were kept in the front of his file for all staff to read whereas his memory book was kept in his room.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,804
69
Dundee
i have done that as well Sylvia. It was for the Day Centre. I suppose the memory books are more for using with the person who has dementia.
 

MrsTerryN

Registered User
Dec 17, 2012
769
I suppose it is because I feel a bit bitter because this angry nasty cursing woman isn't my mum. I would like to show the things she did in her past that made up the woman she was
Thanks Izzy and Grannie G for those ideas .
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,022
London
Have you filled in a This Is Me form? You can get them from the Alzheimer's Society. They only provide basic information but should be the minimum the care home staff know about your mother. I agree that a memory book is a great idea.
 

chewplop

Account on hold
Mar 5, 2015
12
I was wondering if any one had done the life of their loved one for carers ?
Mum is now one of the challenging residents in her nursing home. I want the staff who really are lovely to her to know the original MrsTerryN 's mum. All the fabulous things she did.
I also don't want me to forget or have over ridden the memories of the mum I knew by the mum with dementia and 'challenging behaviours'
I have found memory boxes very good as you can fill the box with really tactile things which can often be more engaging for the person themselves as well and promote real interaction.

My mum had a memory bag. She would never go anywhere without her handbag as she had to have it with her - for I sense of security I guess. So rather than putting all those 'memory objects' in a box I popped them in her bag :)
 

cebhh

Registered User
May 2, 2014
12
I did a memory book for my mum. It consisted of information from her childhood, her life and work, friends, and all family members, important data and events, including close family members who have since passed away, right up to today with her great grandchildren. Each photo has a story attached with who, what where and when, which helps her get engaged and chat about. We take it out periodically and review. Her carers also loved it as it gave them a better insight into the person she once was.
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
13,228
England
I too made a memory book for my husband which sits in his room at his nursing home so the carers can look through it. Sadly he is well passed looking at it himself.

He has a daily care folder that has his photo on and the first two pages tell the carers all about his life from school covering his working life, his family and of course our 48 years together. It also tells of his likes and dislikes, his funny ways and just about anything else that gives them insight into the man he was before dementia stole him.

It gives me great pleasure that the carers talk to me about his life and ask questions, I know they have read it. A greater pleasure is to realise that all his carers understand that his behaviour is down to dementia and he is the living, caring man I describe in his book.

My husband is in a nursing home for dementia with challenging behaviour.
 

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