Mum was in better mood and we had quite a lot of smiling and laughing and about 25 minutes visit which is longest so far. She looked so frail, thin and wobbly today though, 2 carers lead mum today and helped her sit down in chair as she was wobbly, carer said mum was a bit unsteady because she wasn't eating. I just wanted to give her a hug and bring her home. Though I know neither is possible and bringing her home wouldn't be for the best. Mum didn't look too happy at first but then she saw us and said who we were and smiled. I shouted Hello mum and waved. Mum asked if we were coming in. I said We can't but you can sit here and have chat so she let carers help her sit down. Hubby passed goody bag in to carer while I was saying hello.
My sister asked CH on phone the other day if they thought it was ok for us to take a sandwich in for mum in hope of tempting her to eat cos we sometimes used to buy a ready made prawn sandwich when supermarket shopping on saturdays and CH thought it was worth a try. I said we'd taken mum a prawn sandwich in and mum said Oh lovely. We talked a minute about eating and us thinking she might like one for a change cos she used to enjoy them. Carer asked mum if she wanted to eat it now but mum said Oh no I'll have it later, she looked like the thought of eating was too much, held her tummy and pulled a face. She probably feels sicky because she's hungry. Mum told carer I'll have it at teatime. The carer said I'll still be here at teatime so I'll make sure they get it you and come check you eat it and her and mum laughed. Carer said she'd put it in fridge and told mum she'd take her bag and put it in room for her was that ok and mum agreed. Apparently mum can be quite possessive about her things and carers touching them so I think they try to make sure mum agrees to them doing things like that rather than just do it. Carer had her hand on mums shoulder and Mum stroked her hand and told me and hubby She's my friend she's lovely. Carer said Thanks, you're lovely and then took her things away.
Mum asked how we were but said she couldn't hear me properly so I spoke up a bit and said can you hear me now, mum said not really so I spoke bit louder and said Do I need to bellow? which made us laugh Mum joked No need to shout and I shouted What do you mean and we laughed again. Mum said they'll think we've lost it, she turned and said something about people in corridor hearing us but she was still smiling so she wasn't bothered by it which was good.
Carer came back with one of the sml bottles of coke we'd took mum and asked if mum fancied a drink and gave it her. Mum didn't look bothered but I said Why don't you have a drink it'll be nice and might give you a bit of energy. Then mum made us laugh as it was quite fizzy and she pulled a face and OOHed when she had her first drink. Mum said it was really cold and said the bottle was heavy. We joked about it giving her a bit of fizz and pep and a sugar rush and mum said she'd be whizzing around.
I told mum she looked pretty in pink today and her hair looked nice, it was a bit smoother today. Mum said she hadn't seen it and tried to see her reflection in glass, she said she wanted it cutting and I said they're all shut at mo and we chatted minute bout lockdown which mum was fine about and said Well my hair'll have to wait then.
I'd got my phone out to show mum her hair but couldn't cos of reflection off glass, while I had it out I thought I'd take a couple of photos of mum as my sister had asked for some before, I gave hubby my phone so he could take photo while I chatted. Mum saw him taking pic and said he was cheeky but smiled for a pic. Mum said I love - (my hubby) then she said OOH that doesn't sound right does it, And you of course, I love you Andie, but I love - he's lovely, so are you though. We joked about her preferring hubby to me, which is an old joke between us as mum has always thought hubby is lovely and often tells people. Its nice mum remembered as for a while she kept mixing me and hubby up with 'friend' and friends hubby. When mum did that she didn't like him cos she thought he'd left her daughter for 'friend' or she thought he was 'friends' hubby and shouldn't be with her daughter cos he was too old for me.
Mum asked if I'd seen my sister so I told her we'd text, she was ok and said to say hello and she loved mum lots which mum smiled at. I told mum sis had sent me a few more photos of her grandson to show her so I showed mum and we talked about him for a bit. Mum asked if I missed her and I said I did and I loved her lots. She asked if we would be coming again and I said Yes next week and mum said Lovely, you can come anytime. Then went on to tell me about visiting being on a sunday afternoon she thought it was, but it was written on that thing they give us so I could read it later to check. Not sure what that was about but I smiled and said OK.
The walking lady came by a few times during visit and she asked mum if she was ok? mum said she was and patted her hand. When she walked away mum said Bless her she's a bit mental, but she's ok. Then mum said I feel sorry for her cos she's got nothing cos they take all her money so I've been giving her sweets. Her parents take all her money and she can't read so she can only do little simple jobs so she has nothing, she's a bit mental but she's lovely, isn't it awful her parents doing that to her. I said Well they'll look after her here now won't they. Mum said She had nothing when she came here no clothes bless her. I said She's got some now. Mum said They gave her em here. I said Well that's nice then isn't it they're looking after her. Mum said Yeah when she came here about 4 months ago she had nothing no clothes or owt, they gave her em here. One of carers told her look these are for you and we won't tell your mum n dad, she's so grateful when you give her anything she says Oh thank you and she'll put sweets in her pocket and say I'll save it for later. Isn't it awful though her parents doing that to her. I said It is but she's here now and staff will look after her won't they and mum nodded. I changed subject and showed mum some photos of some things I'd made recently and got her laughing about covering myself in bits of fluff.
Mum noticed I was crouched and said to hubby Look at her here crouched down why are you doing that? we said so I was more her level and mum said It'll hurt your back I'll let you go. I didn't want her to go yet so I bobbed up and down saying no it's fine look. Mum said I looked mad doing that and laughed. She said I don't want you hurting your back. I said I'm fine I just look weird, Hubby joked I just looked like hunchback of notre dame so I staggered round saying 'the bells the bells' and got her smiling and laughing again and joking about me being limber and then we chatted for a while longer.
We talked a bit about her eating, mum says she's skinny. She showed us some bruises on her arms and said it's cos she bumps into things and agrees when we say it's cos she's not eating she's wobbly and she says staff are always trying to get her to eat. Like she knows thats why she is skinny, wobbly and feeling off it but she just doesn't eat when it comes to it. I said we'd taken her another goody bag with more sweets and biscuits in and mum said she'd gone off em and looked like when she'd thought about eating sandwich earlier. Though she had looked pleased when we told her about sandwich and also when I said we'd put some mini cheddars in, mum said OOh I used to love them thanks. She said she'd try eat but she always says that.
After 2O minutes mum said I'm going to go now I'll see you next time, then asked Have you been shopping? I said We're going later, mum said Are you getting me some if, I nodded. um said Well make sure you get some money out for me to pay cos I don't want you paying for it. we were going shopping and bringing her some. I just said Ok. Mum mentioned me crouching again and I did a bit more bobbing and nearly fell in flower ball near door which made mum laugh and we talked few more minutes before mum said she was going again. I thought I'd let her go still in a good mood and before she got too confused and tired. Mum said I'll struggle to get up now, it took her a while to push herself up and stand, Mum said she didn't think she could lift the chair and I told her carer would move it when they came to let us out of gate. We were just saying bye and see you next time when hubby spotted DM coming past with drinks trolley and waved at him so he came over. Mum told him I'm going now but not home just to my room. Mum turned back to us and I thought she said Here's my friend, but he said mum had said fella and he joked Don't tell my wife, mum laughed and said I don't mean fella like that. He asked mum to wait for him and she sat in corridor then he popped his head out of door for quick chat. He said That's put a smile on her face and I said she's been in a much better mood today, she was so low last week. He said that's good, it's just her eating though isn't it. I said we'd talked a bit about it with her but don't know what to do. We told him we'd brought her a sandwich today hoping might tempt her. I could see mum looking so I shouted I'm just saying we brought you a prawn sandwich and you're going to have it later aren't you. Mum said yeah and DM joked Or we'll fall out and mum laughed. I said I didn't know if she'd have it but worth a try, he asked where it was and then he said he'd ring us if there were any changes or problems and we said thanks and shouted bye and love you lots to mum.
Overall it was nice to see mum smiling and laughing, she looked clean and tidy and the staff we saw with mum looked caring and tried with mum but she really did look thin and still isn't eating and that part is sad and I really don't know what else to do.