Today has been quite a good day mum wise. She's really been on quite good form and her questions didn't really start till after 5 which is very late for mum. They weren't as full on as usual, quite short really. This morning she was sniffy and thought her cold was back and said not feeling too good. When I got there she was doing her puzzles, she called me Andrea and asked about hubby and seemed to know who I was.
Mum had a message on answerphone from earlier, I played it, it was surgery saying they'd try her later, I said I'll ring them back but they rang mum a few minutes later. I couldn't hear proper but I heard her say she was from surgery and wanted to do a health check over phone. She asked if mum smoked or drank, mum said no but she did eat lots of sweets, they joked about that and I think they mentioned weight and mum mentioned sweets again but weight was ok. Next she said Yes I eat ok, eat all my meals, no they cook them for me, my friend or sometimes my daughter does them. Yes I'm lucky. t mum said Oh yes my friend (pointed at me) comes a lot and my daughter sometimes. Then she said No I don't go out now, I used to but then this thing happened and I'm bit scared. I've not been out at all since this thing. She must have asked mum something about getting about as mum said No I'm fine, I'm old but not that old I can't walk and laughed, Must have asked if house or bungalow cos mum said It's like a bungalow, well we're all same on this row, we're all flat, my bedrooms on same floor as living room sort of thing, I said This is a bungalow mum. Mum said My friend says it's a bungalow, then she said no it's a shower Yes I go in everyday. They said something and mum said I'm fine love, nothing wrong with me I have my friend here a lot and my daughter comes and then they said bye.
She seemed to do quite well with the phone call, apart from bit about friend, bungalow and saying goes in shower everyday but mum thinks she does, she seemed to be making sense when normally she struggles to follow calls, I was surprised how well she did.
When I said was that Drs surgery? Mum said No, It's not him (think meant our old dr from years ago, she kept talking about him when we went to surgery for bloods and bp) it's them from that thingy, you know that behind where we used to live, they ring up to check on me, them from where I've been. sometimes they check if I'm ok, still have to go to Drs if need tablets or owt, they don't give me them but they check up on me every three months. I asked if they'd rung before and mum said Oh yes every 3 month or so. They'll not ring for a while now. I'd told her when we went to surgery for bloods and BP we weren't seeing Dr just nurse for yearly check and I think she'd mixed that up so I didn't say anything.
We had little chat for a bit, a bit repeaty, did hubby bring you, is he working, etc I helped her take washing out and put some more in for her. Mum didn't want to do, or me to do any housework, said nothing needed doing. As she'd done some with carer on Thursday I didn't push it. Mum went back to her puzzles, I made us a cup of tea, I'd took a puzzle book of my own so I got mine out and we both sat and did puzzles, chatting occassionaly for next hour till next lot of washing was done. Mum put it on line and I made us lunch. We normally put tele on with lunch but mum was mid puzzle and I was enjoying doing mine, so we left tele off. I can't remember when I last did any puzzles but my book was over a year old so must have been a while.
Mum wanted to change her puzzle book at one point so got paper rack out and was looking through them and decided to throw old magazines away. She had three tv times and got in a bit of a muddle with which was old and current, kept asking which was this weeks. She had some colouring books in rack and kept showing me pictures in them she'd coloured, but half of them she said she thought our Andrea had done and kept saying I don't know if this is our Andreas book. I didn't say anything only pictures were good and they were her books. She put rack back when finished looking at colouring books and sat back down, then she asked what these magazines were on floor for so I reminded her she was throwing them away. She went to put them in bin and was quite a while, she'd got distracted pulling weeds up in garden. I thought she might have got fed up of puzzles so I asked her if wanted to do something else but mum said No I'll do my puzzles. We sat and did puzzles all afternoon, sometimes I'd help mum with hers and we chatted a bit. I made mum laugh a few times as I have a tendency to hum or sing random lines of songs when it's quiet
Mum called me 'friend' if she used a name during afternoon and a couple of times said she'd not seen her kids, or our Andreas not been, but not much and when I said I'm here mum I'm our Andrea she just said Oh right and went back to puzzles.
Just after 5 when I'd been to put dinner in mum asked Has my mum been? I said No. Mum said Is she dead? I said Yes a long time ago. Then mum said Is W (my dad) dead? I said Yes. Mum said everybody's dead. I said I'm living. Mum said I've got nobody. I said You've got me. Mum said I mean no family, then paused and said Well you're my daughter but no proper family. I was just wondering what to say to that when mum said I think my mum is dead as well. I said again Yes a long time ago. Mum said I thought she was. Then she went back to her puzzles.
A bit after that she asked if these houses didn't have to pay rent cos someone told her they didn't. I said no your all on housing benefit, these houses are only for people on housing benefit, It seems to be a way of explaining that mum accepts at times so I try to stick to saying same thing now. Mum said I hope so cos I can't afford it if I have to pay rent now W's gone. Then a few minutes later she said Well I ant seen any of my kids I know ones in scotland but our Andrea isn't. I said I'm here mum and she said Are you our Andrea, oh sorry love and next time she asked me to look at her puzzle she called my Andie.
She asked about rent again after dinner and I told her same thing as before, she asked if had to go tell council now W had gone and she was here, I said No it's all sorted mum, she asked how I knew and I said I'd got her paperwork for it in her folder at my house and she said Oh good. A few minutes later she said Someone's told me W's been dead about 4 years do you think that's right. I said Yes and mum just said Oh.
On tele they were looking in old sheds for stuff to do up and sell and a bit later mum said Shall we go look in W's shed, I bet there's all sorts in there and he won't know cos he's dissapeared. I didn't say anything at first but then Mum said I think I'll go up there and look cos there could be somert of mine in it. So I said His shed and house where he was living have all been emptied mum there's nothing of yours there. Mum said Is he dead? I said Yes and she said Yeah somebody told me he was and she called me 'friend' again.
We chatted about tele for bit after that and then about 7 we left, as we were getting ready to leave mum called me 'friend' so I made sure I called her mum and hubby said I've got your carrier Andie so mum'd hear, but I thought it probably hadn't registered and it hadn't.
!0 minutes after I left mum rang, Did you know your dads dead? I said yes mum. Does our- (my sister)? Yes mum. How come I didn't know? I said You did mum you'll just have forgot for a minute. She said Oh I do forget but I don't think that's right. She went on saying she thought he'd been here at Christmas and told her he wanted to be with K but then he didn't go with her cos she was in home. That was only a few weeks ago. She said he'd been there, he lived there with her but he hadn't lived there last couple week, he'd been but not stayed cos she's only got a single bed. She said have I got it wrong? I said You mixed some bits up mum. Mum said have I but I can remember him being here, do you think he's dead? I said I know he is. Mum said But I can't believe it. I said I know mum I know it doesn't feel real to you, your just a bit mixed up cos you're brains getting tired. She said Oh don't say I'm mixed up. I asked why and she said Cos it feels real to me, have I got it wrong do you think? I said I know it feels real mum cos its an old memory but your brain has missed a bit out in between, its an old memory not a recent one. Mum said Oh. So does our Andrea know about her dad ? and I said Yes mum I know. Oh are you our Andrea? Did I ring you? I said Yes you did. Mum said Oh right. Then she asked if I was ok and was hubby and I said Yes, She asked if we were at home and I said Not yet we're just on way back. Mum asked from where so I said Your house, she said Oh have you been here? She thought it was 'friend' and hubby who'd been. She said Did you have dinner here? I told her what I'd made and she said Oh yes it was lovely, were you here all day then? I said yes and she said We were doing puzzles weren't we? and I said Yes and mum said Oh sorry love I thought it was 'friend' I said it's fine you knew it was me when I was there you only just forgot now, (she hadn't a lot of the time but I didn't want her to feel bad or worry about it) mum sounded relieved and said Oh good I wonder why? I said your brain will have started getting tired, you've given it a good workout today doing all those puzzles and mum said Oh yes it will. She asked if she'd see me sometime and I said Yes I'll come tomorrow and she said Oh good. Ok love I'll see you later and then we said night and love you lots.
So quite a surprising day really on how 'with it' she was a lot of time and a lot calmer than recently too which made being there much easier.